Hi, my name is KJ Estudillo and I am 13-years-old. Thank you, Lamont and Sheila, for allowing me to speak today. I am deeply honored and touched. My heart goes out to you, Chris, Tim and Matt.
I first met Nicholas last June, 2005 at the Ronald McDonald House in Palo Alto. He was in Suite 101 and I was in Suite 102. I kinda knew we were both at Lucile Packard Children's Hospital at the same time, but because we were both bone marrow transplant patients and we were immunosurpressed, I couldn't be out of my room to see the other kids at 2-North.
But after my 36-day stay at the hospital, I met Nicholas when we lived at the Ronald McDonald House. Nicholas would knock on my door every morning…okay, noon and night…my father would answer the door and Nicholas would always, say, "Can KJ come out and play?" We would play video games or watch a DVD. We would play like typical boys…like fake sword fighting, pretending we were in Star Wars, or running up and down the hallways with another bone marrow transplant patient named Jacob (Hi Anne). There was never a bad time for me to play with Nicholas; I could play with him 24 hours a day…okay…when I'm not sleeping or eating.
And how could I even forget the times Sheila would make lunch for Nicholas and me? Thanks, Sheila. Lunches with Nicholas every day made me really feel like we were brothers.
What was really special were the times Nicholas and me would cuddle on the couch at night with our mothers watching a DVD (and he had a huge collection!)…and then breaking at 9 p.m. for our IV drip hydration. Or the times Sheila and my mom would work on a 1000-piece puzzle and then have me and Nicholas put in the final piece.
Who could forget Nicholas with cash money on one hand, his brown doll named "Nicholas" and his favorite clothing on the other hand? Always attached to his t-shirt was a heavy pin holding up his Broviac catheter. Oh yes, did we dread that thing attached to our chest. Well, Nicholas, you finally got that Broviac off of you!
When Nicholas left the Ronald McDonald House, we continued our friendship and I would visit him in Lafayette, …or wherever he was…he was sure to call and tell me.
My father and I had our plane tickets to board a flight to Denver for last Friday, only to have Lamont call us on Wednesday telling us Nicholas was flying back to Stanford.
I last spoke to Nicholas several weeks ago when we were talking about my trip to visit him in Denver, and I was counting down the days with him. I told him I couldn't wait to see him, and the last thing I said to him was "I love you, Nicholas", and he said, "I love you, too." That's how we would always end our phone calls.
Yes, my heart aches for my best little buddy. I am so, so sad he is gone. I can't even believe he passed away. And I was so honored to be in the room last May 25th when Nicholas took his last breath. As I watched his blood pressure on the monitor go down to zero, I held his right hand and I shouted, "Thank you God for sending us a guardian angel."
And that is exactly what Nicholas is to us all…an ANGEL.
What has Nicholas taught us? For only a 6-year-old boy, Nicholas taught the world so much---more than anyone even 10 times his age could teach us. But for me, he taught me several things:
1. Nicholas taught me about strength and courage. Being in middle school, there can be so much pre-teen drama. One of my classmate said, "she hates life and life sucks." I told her I know a 5-year-old boy who is fighting leukemia, what can YOU possibly complain about?! What can I complain about?!
2. Nicholas taught me not to complain. While I was recovering from my bone marrow transplant, I would have to take about 18 pills a day. Some, like cyclosporine were huge elephant-like pills, which smelled like rotten egg, and I had to take about 5 of those a day. Now I was then 12-years-old, so I can swallow pills. But Nicholas couldn't swallow pills then, and either Sheila had to grind up the pills or give them to him in liquid form. And those medicine were nasty tasting! How can I complain if this little kid had more to take in liquid form?!
3. Nicholas taught me about love. As you know, Nicholas was such a happy boy, with his remarks that would make you laugh. Like he would say, "You want a piece of me?" or he would say, "Oh Snap!" or something in a certain crazy accent. He made everybody feel loved and special. Everybody who encountered him felt loved.
4. Nicholas reminded me that life is short. I realized that life is short when I was suddenly diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia and when I received bone marrow from my baby brother, Zachary. Nicholas reminded me that life IS short, to live for the moment and don't worry about tomorrow. We were ready to see each other last week, but he passed away the day before I was to see him.
I also learned from my illness that there is God and God is a healer, and God has bigger plans for us. So, I know God has plans for Nicholas. He is using Nicholas to teach us. He is using Nicholas to teach us about love. He has Nicholas in His loving arms and Nicholas is running up and down the hallways of heaven, playing swords and asking Jesus, "You want a piece of me?"
I love you Nicholas, I will always keep you in my heart. I will never, ever, ever forget you…. because you inspire me.
I love you Lamont and Sheila. Thank you for treating me like a son, and most of all, thank you for sharing Nicholas with us. And finally, thank you God for bringing Nicholas to this world.
Love, KJ