MESSAGE ABOUT NICHOLAS AND RELATIONSHIPS
Good Afternoon.
Today has been an opportunity for hundreds of people to give witness to how many lives a child can touch. Some of us were privileged to know Nicholas Colby Gilbert. Others know of him through their friendship with his parents Sheila and Lamont, his brothers, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles. Other people have the sense that they have known Nick because of the generosity of word and witness that his family has made on Nicholas' website. His encounter with leukemia-a journey that lasted about a third of his life-is one what demonstrates enormous courage, resilience, faith, hope and especially love. I don't really like the words: battle and fight-because they imply that there are winners and losers. Nicholas' leukemia was very powerful-that is true-and the cures for it do not yet exist-but Nicholas was a winner-and oh, what a race he ran for us to admire.
As a Chaplain at Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, I have the privilege of meeting families from many faith traditions. It seems to me that a common thread is "relationship". Relationship with a divine presence, which in this place we call God, manifested in God's son Jesus Christ…or relationship with a sense of the universal or the natural world,…or relationship between human beings as the best example of creative life.
Nicholas was "all about relationship". His natural exuberance and winning ways drew people to him under all conditions. Sheila and Lamont had nurtured such a confident, well-loved child that he was totally free to make connections with as many people as he could fit into his world. He never forgot a name and he made each of us believe that our arrival in his room at the hospital was the visit he had been waiting for all day.
When I first met Nicholas in the spring of 2005, he liked to pray. It was part of his family's way of life and we were all optimistic, faithful, and confident. We sent Nicholas out of the hospital to enjoy his summer and thrive. By the fall, his condition had become unstable again and fear sat permanently in the back of the minds and hearts of those close to him. Perhaps even Nicholas sensed that all was not well-for he resisted returning to the hospital a few times. Sheila and Lamont courageously held their cherished hope for their child in one hand while they absorbed more and more sobering news in the other hand. Their "hope" was expressed in little ways-the desire for as much of a normal life as possible. One day, Nicholas asked why he was still getting "time outs" when he was so sick in the hospital. His parent's reply: "because you need to be a thoughtful, kind person." Live as if you'll live forever!
During this time, Nicholas sent me away sometimes when I came in to pray. "No, thanks," he'd say to my inquiry. When I finally figured out that our praying aloud together often caused his mom to cry, I told him we'd take a break-and I'd say my prayers out of the room. I wouldn't ask him anymore "how are you today" and I wouldn't ask his mom questions either. When I honored his rules…I could visit. You see…the chaplain is one of the hospital people you can throw out of your room and not suffer any consequences.
In late November, Lamont told me that Nicholas himself was praying aloud all day long-for healing, for God's presence, for care of his family. Relationship! I asked Nicholas about his prayers and asked if he would be willing to pray for me because I was having a difficult week, meeting some new families. "Sure", he said. And this six-year-old boy enveloped me with words of encouragement, challenge, gratitude and so much love. When I wrote him a note later that day, I told him that I had had a wonderful day with patients and families because I felt God so close to me.
Because we had shared prayers together, Nicholas and I became more comfortable with each other. We didn't have deep, theological conversations. I think he had those with his Mom and Dad, which was more appropriate than with me. He would ask me to pray that he would be healed and be a normal kid.
The healing has occurred, but Nicholas Colby Gilbert was never a "normal" kid-he was extra-ordinary-one of a kind-gifted and joyous. In the Christian tradition, we read a particular passage of scripture at the baptism of children: it is the story of the adults around Jesus trying to discourage the crush of parents bringing their children to be touched by Jesus. "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them; for to such belongs the realm of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the realm of God like a child shall not enter it."
Nicholas understood this "realm" of God. He may have tried to bargain with God for time-just like he tried to bargain for a few more chips with salsa or another shrimp. I don't believe Nicholas had any barriers with God-only relationship. For that, I am truly grateful-and will forever be reminded when I think of Nicholas, that love-love of a child-love LIKE a child-- makes ALL relationships possible.
