December 4, 2007
We are blessed to experience the spirit of “caring” all year long…a gift to us provided a gift to a child
Today, The Nicholas Colby Fund® received a gift toward our work of “Helping Children Be Children”. And the gift immediately provided a timely surprise for a patient (family of three) from the University of California San Francisco-Children’s Hospital. This patient and family, via this gift, will be guests of The Nicholas Colby Fund as they spend time together on December 13 enjoying Cirque Du Soleil at AT&T Park under the Grand Chapiteau. Three front row seats and an added surprise to help them purchase souvenirs are intended to help them smile a little more.
It is so inspiring to see smiles on the faces of the children and their families who have not had many recent opportunities to smile. And we are blessed to have Nicholas’ continuous touch and reach into the children’s hospitals creating a circle of love. As in this case, the generosity of an individual and AAA of Northern California believing in the continued work of The Nicholas Colby Fund helped us to create another circle of love. (You can see other opportunities generating smiles on the faces of children by clicking onto What We Do > Events/Experiences > Upcoming Events, that lead you into the calendar toward the bottom of the page. Also, click onto What We Do > Events/Experiences > Experiences in Pictures, to see the many experiences through flyers and other pictures.)
This show features KOOZA. “KOOZA is a return to the origins of Cirque Du Soleil. It combines two circus traditions – acrobatic performance and the art of clowning. The show highlights the physical demand of human performance in all its splendor and fragility, presented in a colorful mélange that emphasizes bold slapstick humor.”
December 16, 2007
It was difficult to decorate for the holidays, however, blessings have come our way
On Christmas this year, December 25, 2007, it will be 1 year and 7 months that Nicholas has been in Heaven. Nicholas (many of you will remember) enjoyed Christmas, all holidays, and really every chance to engage with people and the world. He, truly, enhanced the world in amazing ways that—thankfully—still touch our lives as we engage the world today in the ways that we do. Whether we are home, around town, talking with people across the United States…Nicholas' touch is everywhere.
While we are thankful for these beautiful touches of love, it is bittersweet not “physically” having Nicholas with us. As we cry…missing Nicholas so, so much, we cry out to God trusting His love. We do smile knowing that Nicholas is in God’s hands and playing & having fun with Jesus. And we think about “God’s speed” helping us to trust and believe God’s love that allows us to feel that Nicholas is away with God…what a blessing to know. To Nicholas…he feels that he has only been away from us for just moments. Like he is at school, playing with family & friends, taking a nap. And we pray, thanking God for helping us to know that Nicholas is never gone, never far…forever in our hearts & souls!
So as these holidays bring tears to our eyes and sadness to our hearts because we physically miss Nicholas, we are thankful for God’s love that blesses our lives. And sometimes it is still so very hard doing just about anything! We have been struggling with these holidays, yet found many moments of reflection & joy today as we completed the Christmas decorations at Nicholas’ Oakmont Memorial Park site…and decorations at home on the outside and inside. (You can see some of these decorations on the Nicholas Colby Fund 4th Quarter 2007 photo album, under What We Do > Events/Experiences > Experiences in Pictures.)
Nicholas, my son, I see you, I hear you, I taste and smell your loving scent, and I feel your loving touch as we decorated today with your brothers and knowing that you are with us…and that you are happily with God and playing & having fun with Jesus! We love you so, so very much son. But you know this because, thankfully, we talked about how we would always “just know…”
December 26, 2007
Christmas morning...and the day & night was focused on love
Throughout Nicholas’ leukemia journey we not only focused on love, love was at the start, middle, and forever will be at the end of each day. We often wrote on these journals about trusting & believing God’s love! Nicholas always trusted God’s love as much as a child trusts their parents to love them. We constantly think about this fact because while Nicholas is not physically with us, he is with God and playing with Jesus…for us it is the grandest graduation and the perfect-pure destination one could only hope to embrace.
We are so grateful God smiles on us and that Love surrounds our lives in its omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent ways that are perfect and pure. Even when it is just so very, very hard to understand…in terms of questions like Nicholas’ friend Hana wrote. Remember, when she wrote a school paper about Nicholas? The theme was about “wondering why…” So as we wonder why, we also wonder about the perfect and pure joy that surrounds Nicholas. We think about Nicholas saying, mom, dad, brothers, family, and friends…if you could see me now you would not ever want me to leave this perfect place. A couple other notes about Christmas this year:
1. Remember Nicholas sure did enjoy the movie, Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas, with Jim Carrey. Remember how we wrote about Nicholas being able to act and perform many of the scenes? Christmas night Sheila and I watched this movie again.
2. We were greeted by a few surprises Christmas morning at Nicholas’ Oakmont Memorial Park site. One surprise was a card left on the flat memorial marker and following are the words on the card. “And love said, wherever you look you will find me; I will shine my light upon your heart…you are in our prayers.” Another surprise was a picture-frame ornament that had a picture of Nicholas. We are always amazed and our hearts warmed by “love begetting love” as the expressions and actions of Nicholas and all of you generate a love that touches and brightens lives in meaningful ways—not just our lives.
3. The Patient Gift Giving Experience was a success (please refer to What We Do > Events/Experiences > Upcoming Events, and go to December 24, 2007 on the calendar). The Nicholas Colby Fund was able to provide gifts to 21 children that were in-patient. Because the theme above has been about “remembering” here it goes again. Remember, the patients get to select a gift for each of their siblings so that the patient can enjoy the gift of giving by giving a gift to each of their brothers and sisters.
November 13, 2007
Now that this new website is live, following is information intended to help you better navigate it to thoroughly experience all of the content. We hope Nicholas' logo with our red signature balloon against the blue sky uplifts your days and nights...
NAVIGATION INFORMATION:
1) The main menu bar: Welcome, About Us, About Nicholas, What We Do, Donate, Participate, Contact Us
2) There are sub-menu bars after selecting About Us, About Nicholas
3) There are drop down menu items to select when scrolling over What We Do, Participate
4) You will go directly to the respective content when you select Donate, Contact Us
5) About Us, About Nicholas, in addition to its sub-menu items there are drop down menu items
6) That for the drop down menu items for ABOUT US three of the drop down menu items ("Celebrating Life," "Nicholas' Memorial Service and Celebration of Life," and "Sound Tracks") and drop down menu items for PARTICIPATE two of the drop down menu items (Journal, Guestbook), each have respective side menu item selections
SPECIAL NOTES:
5a) After Selecting About Nicholas, each of its sub-menu items have a corresponding picture of Nicholas. For example, selecting About Nicholas > Nicholas' Star In The Sky, you will see his actual star that was registered as "Nicholas Colby"
6a) After selecting "Nicholas' Memorial Service and Celebration of Life" you will be able to access the actual speeches, songs, and poems delivered by the speakers as well as a corresponding picture of each speaker
GENERAL NOTES:
Remember to scroll down all the pages to thoroughly browse and enjoy the richness of the content that more fully reveals our work of "Helping Children Be Children". You will find surprises:
1) For example, like a Proclamation after selecting What We Do > Sponsors and Partners, and scrolling all the way down its content
2) For example, a personal message from me, Sheila, and Gina after selecting About Us, and scrolling down as you look under the heading titled "Nicholas Colby Fund Facilitators...seeing the content and a picture for each of us
Or in other words, we truly hope that you just enjoy as we all reflect on love in the ways that we do..."Helping Children Be Children".
We hope you will save this new site as a favorite and we hope you see all the pictures, hear all the songs, and experience the love integrated helping Nicholas' legacy to fly and the love of other children connecting…for other children.
Lamont
November 16, 2007
Nicholas' Grandmother...Connection Of Love
Nicholas' grandmother, my mom (Eva Marie Gilbert), passed away on November 8 and this past Wednesday, November 14, we held her memorial and interment services. Of course, my mom and Nicholas shared love and their sharing continues in a myriad of ways on earth as well as Heaven.
The singer and song (Sarah Bannwart, Amazing Grace) during the interment service was heard again at my mom's interment service. Similar to the release of doves and butterfiles at Nicholas' interment service, doves were released at my mom's service. The doves were a beautiful connection and another connection is the natural love for children by my mom. In honor of my mom's love for children, my siblings (9 of us) has The Nicholas Colby Fund as the charitable organization in lieu of flowers.
You can see Nicholas and his grandmom (my mother) by clicking onto About Nicholas > Nicholas In Pictures > Image 32 and 42.
November 22, 2007
More Events/Experiences For Children And The Nicholas Colby Fund®
Thanksgiving Day dinners for some inpatients and all parents
With this new website now in flight, some of you may not have fully explored the content from About Us, About Nicholas, What We Do, to Participate and all of the sub-menu items and drop down menu items. We mention this today because while we may not always talk about upcoming events/experiences on these journal entries (blogs), you can see what is upcoming by going to What We Do > Events/Experiences > Upcoming Events (by scrolling to the calendar toward the bottom of the Events/Experiences page).
What is upcoming
On November 22, 2007 we will have our 2nd Annual Thanksgiving Day dinners for some oncology inpatients and all the parents and/or guardians in the children’s oncology wing with their child. These dinners will be delivered to Children’s Hospital Oakland and Stanford-Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital (LPCH).
NOTES:
Nicholas called turkeys, "the big chickens!"
California Cafe of Palo Alto partnered with us for the second year sponsoring 50% of the dinners for LPCH.
On November 23, 2007 patients and their family from Children's Hospital Oakland will enjoy a night in a luxury suite watching "So You Think You Can Dance".
On November 28, 2007 we will hold our 2nd Annual after hours Christmas shopping to benefit The Nicholas Colby Fund for our work toward "Helping Children Be Children". This event is at Games Unlimited: 810 Sycamore Valley Road (West) in Danville, CA (at the Danville Livery), 925 838-6358. 10% of the proceeds will go to The Nicholas Colby Fund. If you are unable to make it to this fun event and want to participate, you may make a tax-deductible donation by pressing the “Donate” menu item above.
On December 7, 2007 patients and their families from the Bay Area children's hospitals will enjoy a night in a luxury suite watching the Golden State Warriors basketball game versus the Miami Heat.
On December 9, 2007 patients and their families from Children’s Hospital Oakland will be guests of The Nicholas Colby Fund as they spend time out to simply have some fun away from the hospital and treatment, at a San Francisco 49ers football gave versus the Minnesota Vikings.
November 25, 2007
One and one-half years in Heaven
Today Nicholas has been in Heaven for one and one-half years. As we think about Nicholas' love and joy for babies, we remember how the love was a deep, beautiful love for babies. We remember how the last month of Nicholas’ life he talked about wanting us to always be able to hold him and carry him like a baby. He said he wanted to stay small so that we could always do just that—although we told him we always would…no matter what, hold him and love him as the beautiful boy that he is.
“We do, Nicholas, every day and every moment hold you are in our arms…in our hearts…and in our souls…feel love beating with passion & excitement feeling your beautiful, perfect love illuminating from our every thought about you!”
As we talk about “He knows” referring to God, we again are so grateful for the conversations we always had with Nicholas letting all of us know that Nicholas “just knows” no matter what, no matter the time…place…or space…that WE just know that we would be in each other’s hearts and souls. Even now! “Yes Nicholas, we feel you baby and there is continuous feelings and love for you.” (One of many ways we deeply express our love for God and for Nicholas is through what we call, Nicholas’ Love under About Nicholas > Nicholas’ Love)
God’s masterpiece is created in God-speed so we will continually trust and believe His omnipotence, omniscience, and be so grateful for His omnipresence rendering us a constant parent shepherding us along the way.
Today we will read one of Nicholas’ favorite books, “I Want To Be Somebody New!” by Robert Lopshire. (All of Nicholas’ favorite things are under About Nicholas > Nicholas’ Favorite Things) And we will pray. Our prayers are grounded in love and understanding. On the understanding, we trust and believe God’s words while we do struggle so very, very much not having Nicholas physically with us. And we know, we just feel and trust that Nicholas is absolutely in a better place—even with our amazing love for Nicholas, we cannot selfishly want him here when he is lively, angelically, and heavenly flourishing along God’s side.
And we think about the song, “If You Could See Me Now” by Integrity Music, Songs of Hope. This song reveals to us that Nicholas is playing and having fun with Jesus, along side of God. Some of the lyrics are: If you could see me now, you would know I see His (God’s) face, if you could see me now, you would know the pain is erased, you would not want me to leave this perfect place, if you could see me now. (You could see all of the lyrics under About Nicholas > Sound Tracks > Sound Track Lyrics > If You Could See Me Now)
Sunday, October 28, 2007 11:28PM CDT
ONE YEAR AND FIVE MONTHS AGO (this past Thursday)
October 25, 2007 marked one year and five months that Nicholas has been in Heaven. In so many ways it seems just like yesterday…and we are grateful in many ways that it does not seem like a long time ago. Perhaps the good aspects of it seeming like it was yesterday Nicholas ascended to Heaven is the fact that Nicholas' love & spirit is so very, very present.
Remember the following song we talked about after Nicholas went to Heaven? "If You Could See Me Now," by Integrity Music-Songs Of Hope, God Will Make A Way. We think about this song today…thinking about the joy Nicholas is experiencing at God's side, playing & having fun with Jesus. Following are the words, remember?
Our prayers have all been answered,
I finally have arrived.
The healing that had been delayed,
Has now been realized.
No one's in a hurry,
There's no schedule to keep.
We're all enjoying Jesus,
Just sitting at His feet.
If you could see me now,
I'm walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now,
I'm standing tall and whole.
If you could see me now,
You'd know I'd seen His face.
If you could see me now,
You'd know the pain is erased.
You wouldn't want me,
To ever leave this place,
If you could see me now.
My light and temporary trials,
Have worked out for my good.
To know it brought Him glory,
When I misunderstood.
Though we've had our sorrows,
They can never compare.
What Jesus had in store for us,
No language can share.
If you could see me now,
I'm walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now,
I'm standing tall and whole.
If you could see me now,
You'd know I'd seen His face.
If you could see me now,
You'd know the pain is erased.
You wouldn't want me,
To ever leave this perfect place,
If you could only see me now.
If you could see me now...
NICHOLAS' OFFICE HERE ON EARTH
Nicholas is vibrantly in our lives and the lives of so many others-we know we are blessed knowing Nicholas is so loved-and through his legacy, The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children.
Many of you remember Nicholas' passion for reading, learning, exploring, teaching…and before his leukemia journey a regular journey to his "office" was the order of every week. Remember Nicholas called the Lafayette Library his office? He loved to go to the library to select a book, sit at the table and read it…pick out another book, sit at the table and read it…and simply explore the wonders the library offers. When we drove by the library Nicholas would say, "There is my office." Nicholas was so happy to have his own office and when he was in the hospital, many of you may remember how he would set up a desk in his hospital room like an office. Throughout Nicholas' photo albums you will see pictures of him reading, learning via a computer (PC or hand-held), writing notes, etc. "Nicholas, we thank God, you are never gone, never far…forever in our hearts and souls. Remember, son, we just know…"
Well, today we were at the Lafayette Reservoir, another one of Nicholas' favorite spots (along with oceans, lakes, and any body of water). And aside from Nicholas being with us in the ways that he always is, we had a picture of Nicholas with us…the black & white picture with his tie on that is in the 3-picture collage you can see by clicking on View Photos (the third of 3 pictures). The connection today with the Lafayette Library is that we were on a photo shoot for a library brochure that will feature Nicholas' passion for the library to the point that he called it, "my office…" Once the brochure is published we will share it with you via Nicholas' website.
WE LEARNED FROM A FRIEND IN DENVER SOMETHING THAT IS TRUE FOR US, "IT DOES NOT GET EASIER…IT GETS DIFFERENT"
Also for us-thankfully-God's love does not get different…God loves and demonstrates love in so many ways, EVERYDAY! And in every way imaginable and unimaginable Nicholas is playing & having fun with love.
Sunday, October 21, 2007 9:46 PM CDT
REMEMBER HOW NICHOLAS CARED AND SHARED
We, of course, remember how Nicholas cared and shared… We, of course, care and share because of our love for Nicholas and trusting God. To this point, caring and sharing via the Nicholas Colby Fund, it is so inspiring to see smiles on the faces of the children and their families who have not had many recent opportunities to smile. Delivering experiences for patients from Children's Hospital Oakland, Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, and UCSF-Children's Hospital, we continually look forward to helping many more families to have a treasured moment or two and believe we truly are making a difference - Helping Children Be Children (our tag line).
We so trust and believe God is caring for Nicholas and Nicholas is playing & having fun with Jesus…and smile imagining Nicholas' vibrant smile and sparkling eyes being in Heaven!
LAST WEEK MESSAGE FROM UCSF-CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL
Thinking about seeing smiles on faces of the children who have not had many recent opportunities to smile…WE SMILED last week after hearing the following message from an UCSF-Children's Hospital representative:
"Hi Lamont, these tickets went so quickly!
One family in particular cried when they received them. They used the tickets as a celebration of their daughter leaving the hospital after three months. She is a huge High School Musical fan, and the timing could not have been better.
Thank you so much for continuing to be such a great friend to the Children's Hospital."
REFLECTIONS AND THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND'S GUIDING LIGHT
The reflections we talked about in the October 6, 2007 journal (under the Journal History tab) were reflections about Nicholas and continue to be about Nicholas everyday. And for you or others we know that with your reflections about Nicholas, there are others in your lives that you reflect on who have been impacted by cancer, a degenerating condition, or other life threatening illness.
The guiding light we talked about was about Nicholas and his legacy, The Nicholas Colby Fund, through his beautiful spirit coupled with the direct and in-direct support of you. Thank you!
Following is a snapshot of the last couple of weeks and a flavor of Nicholas and the Nicholas Colby Fund's continuous work:
- Events/experiences in a luxury suite at the Oracle Arena for 16 patients and their family members: last week it was High School Musical On Ice
- Golden State Warriors professional basketball games
- Nicholas' love for reading and the Lafayette Library
- Nicholas Colby Fund backpacks for patients diagnosed with cancer at the three children's hospitals. Partnering with the Gabby Krause Foundation along with backpacks provided by Samsonite, creating Bags of Fun that we will soon start providing
- San Francisco 49ers professional football games
________________________________________
Saturday, October 13, 2007 11:45 PM CDT
***SPECIAL UPDATE***
Tonight's Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's LIGHT THE NIGHT® WALK was bittersweet…amazing…loving…and spectacular as we all felt Nicholas' love illuminating our hearts & souls. "And Nicholas, I trust that God and Jesus have illuminated you and everything around you in the most spectacular ways allowing you to feel the brightest love and be fulfilled with the brightest Love. Son, we can feel it, we can see it…you are walking streets of gold and playing & having fun with Jesus!"
We would love for all of you to see the faces of those that were part of Team Nikko at the Walk tonight. We would also like you to see the current Nicholas Colby Fund flyers for tomorrow night's (Sunday) first Warriors home game of the season for a patient from Children's Hospital Oakland/UCSF Children's Hospital…Monday night's second home game for patients from Children's Hospital Oakland…and Thursday night's High School Musical On Ice for patients from UCSF-Children's Hospital.
Please copy and paste the following into your web browser, which is the Nicholas Colby Fund 4th Quarter 2007 photo album:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.a2d1ocd6&x=1&y=k8tivi
________________________________________
Friday, October 12, 2007 9:00 AM CDT
***SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT***
LIGHT THE NIGHT® WALK (with Nicholas) SATURDAY NIGHT - October 13, 2007
Beautiful was the tone of the night as family and friends (from home, Nicholas' school, and our work) participated on "Team Nikko" in Walnut Creek last October for the Light The Night® Walk, which is the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's nationwide evening walk to build awareness of blood cancers. Under the full moon the time spent together talking, walking, and loving Nicholas as well as all these beautiful kids who are surviving or have passed away, was beautiful.
This year we are doing it again-tomorrow night (Saturday, October 13, 2007):
- 5:00pm Registration, Check-in, Food, Entertainment, Booths Begin
- 6:15pm Remembrance Ceremony at Rose Garden
- 6:30pm Presentations Begin
- 7:00pm Walk Begins
FOLLOWING IS INFORMATION PROVIDED BY THE LEUKEMIA & LYMPHOMA SOCIETY:
Evening Host - KGO AM 810 Radio Personality, Ed Baxter
Featuring Live Music by Brad Wolfe & The Moon
Performances by College Park Cheer, Team Rave, and Lauren Bishopp
FOOD: Food is provided at the walk FREE of charge for all participants who have raised a minimum of $25 or donate $25 on the day of the walk -- sponsored by Whole Foods Market. Beverages from Naked Juice, Crystal Geyser, Glaceau SmartWater and Vitamin Water are complimentary to all those that attend!
REMEMBRANCE GARDEN: Light a candle and celebrate the lives of those no longer with us. Visit us at the Patient Services booth to receive a candle for the Remembrance Garden and Remembrance Ceremony which begins at 6:15pm -- Led By Carol Wu and Lamont Gilbert. Let's remember their life so that we can find the cure for our future!
Nicholas' spirit and love in so many ways lives on, as all those who knew him still carry a piece of Nicholas in their hearts. And lives on as all who have become to know Nicholas through his love & the Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children.
________________________________________
Saturday, October 6, 2007 10:16 PM CDT
DAILY REMINDERS OF A LOVE SO STRONG, SO INFECTIOUS (this word used here is a good thing)
A couple of weeks have gone by since our last journal, although we know that we are blessed knowing that Nicholas loved God and expressed his love for God every day. Even when we could not understand why so many things were happening during the leukemia journey…Nicholas, thankfully, turned to God as we would hold him, pat him, pray with him, cry with him, and smile with him as we felt God's love-even when it was hard to understand why things were happening, or not happening!
Well, the daily reminders of Nicholas' love for God also generate reminders of Nicholas' love for life and everyone & everything around him. We are so fortunate to have this love as an everlasting layer of our hearts & souls.
- Today, seeing and hearing kids at play…I could see, hear, and feel Nicholas at play around our lives and know that he is playing & having fun with Jesus.
- Yesterday, looking out onto the patio at our home there was a squirrel hiding an acorn in one of the terra cotta pots/planters. Immediately I could hear Nicholas saying, "Mom, a squirrel is in your plants!" Many of you will remember this and remember that Nicholas seemed to enjoy tattling on the squirrels to see mom chase the squirrel away. We could hear his voice now and see the joy on his face-a simple pleasure that we treasure.
- And, everyday before yesterday and everyday to come, although many times it is so bittersweet, we remember our precious angel. Nicholas, we don't have to see you, to know that you're here!
REFLECTIONS AND THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND'S GUIDING LIGHT
Helping Children Be Children is more than just the tagline for the Nicolas Colby Fund. It has always been a significant part of our lives and with our lives around Nicholas. Nicholas, remember, not just loved playing with kids (as most kids to). He loved to care about kids around him, he loved to share with kids around him, and he loved to help make them smile. So with the Nicholas Colby Fund in its second year, along with the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus, Sesame Street Live, Disney on Ice, the San Francisco Ballet, and a host of other events and experiences, it is reflecting on Nicholas' love that is the guiding light for our actions.
Remember, following are the current actions:
NICHOLAS' LOVE FOR READING AND THE LAFAYETTE LIBRARY
Well, along with Nicholas' connection and Nicholas calling the Lafayette library his office…Sheila and I have new connections with the library:
- Sheila began participating in a monthly "Sweet Thursday" sitting at the library that features a book and engaging with its author
- I have been selected as a Board of Trustee for the new Lafayette Library & Learning Center to help guide this $43 million entity in its infancy
And these new connections are purely connections with another one of Nicholas' love and passion enabling us to continually know that Nicholas is never gone, never far…forever in our hearts & souls. We are so thankful for God's love caring for us in these ways as we simply trust and believe that God is lovingly caring for Nicholas…and Nicholas is happily playing and having fun with Jesus.
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND BACKPACKS
This past week we received approval from Children's Hospital Oakland's administration and governing boards to begin providing the Nicholas Colby Fund backpacks to newly diagnosed children with cancer. Through partnering with the Gabby Krause Foundation out of Colorado (remember, Nicholas was in Denver, Colorado for a few weeks), Samsonite has provided backpacks for all three children hospitals the Nicholas Colby Fund works with. This new experience toward Helping Children Be Children is backpacks full of fun, engaging toys, games, and books: hand-eye coordination items, art & creative items, general learning items (about math, writing, and reading), musical items, imagination items, fun stuff, and more.
The outcome of this experience is that one of the first things a newly diagnosed child will see when they are first admitted into their hospital room is a Nicholas Colby Fund backpack just for them. We are planning on having the parents of Gabby Krause on hand when we deliver the first backpacks. Stay tuned for the start date…
SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS EXPERIENCES VIA THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND
Remember, patients from Children's Hospital Oakland (CHO), Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (LPCH), and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital (UCSF) will be guest of the Nicholas Colby Fund at 49ers professional football games throughout the season. Tomorrow patients from LPCH will enjoy the game against the Baltimore Ravens and then patients from CHO at a following game.
GOLDEN STATE WARRRIORS EXPERIENCES VIA THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND
Less than one month away the Warriors' 2007/2008 season begins, and the Nicholas Colby Fund will begin its second season working with the Warriors toward Helping Children Be Children as patients from all three children hospitals will be our guests to enjoy professional basketball, excitement, and fun. All these things toward giving a child a reason to smile and focus on fun, not medicine.
If you do not know or remember the amazing partnership with the Warriors, please refer to the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album by copying and pasting the following into your browser. In this album you will see the proclamation we delivered to the Warriors on June 18, 2007:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
Saturday, September 22, 2007 11:01 PM CDT
NICHOLAS' LOVE FOR READING AND THE LAFAYETTE LIBRARY
Throughout Nicholas' life you would find him reading or being read to…from "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" to his Children's Bible. Whether we were home, in the car, in the park, or at the hospital, Nicholas loved books. Whether it was mom, his teacher Ms. Shirley, or even Thunder (the Golden State Warriors professional basketball team mascot who visited Nicholas at home and in the hospital during the leukemia journey). Remember how Nicholas called the Lafayette Library his office? There is a new Lafayette Library & Learning Center being built and we have met with a representatives who want to include a story in their marketing campaigns about Nicholas…stay tuned for more details over the next couple of months.
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND BACKPACKS
The backpack experience for children newly diagnosed with cancer is in the final stages of review by Children's Hospital Oakland. We're getting closer to delivering this new experience-details are in the August 4, 2007 journal entry under Journal History).
SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS EXPERIENCES VIA THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND
Remember, patients from Children's Hospital Oakland (CHO), Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (LPCH), and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital (UCSF) will be guest of the Nicholas Colby Fund at 49ers professional football games throughout the season. Up next for this experience is LPCH for the October 7, 2007 game against the Baltimore Ravens.
GOLDEN STATE WARRRIORS EXPERIENCES VIA THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND
You know all about our amazing partnership with the Warriors (if not, please refer to the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album by copying and pasting the following into your browser). In this album you will see the proclamation we delivered to the Warriors on June 18, 2007:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
Well, next month the Warriors 2007-2008 season begins and so does the Nicholas Colby Fund experiences at Warriors games for the three children's hospitals.
LIMITED JOURNALS THE PAST TWO WEEKS
(Remember, we have started capturing journal entries on Saturdays with some exceptions):
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
In San Diego for business...yes Nicholas has been in San Diego too. So the moments were sweet-bitter-sweet and new moments of reflection created new moments of love in many ways. And trusting the moment (and forever moments) when more than just our spirits will dance together as they do now, I trust & believe love will follow generating the promise of love in heavenly dimensions-and its heavenly ways of joy,
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
A wonderful experience at Camp Okizu: Canoeing and enjoying the serene surroundings as well as thinking about our precious Nicholas who enjoyed being on and in the water. We navigated a ropes course climbing high into the trees, across wires, and cascading down...and we thought about Nicholas and his rock climbing adventures.
And once again, Sheila painted a couple of rocks we found. You can see the picture in the Nicholas Colby Fund 3rd Quarter 2007 photo album by copying and pasting the following into your browser (currently it is the cover picture):
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.byq6bxd2&x=1&y=gcteh1
- You will see a rock with a rainbow! Remember the rainbows that Nicholas painted and his streets of gold? We think about the song, If You Could See Me Now, and the words: "...if you could see me now, I'm walking streets of gold..."
- Also you will see a natural multi-colored rock that we painted Nicholas' signature red balloon onto it. The red balloon in the Nicholas Colby Fund logo is actually a balloon that Nicholas painted. We had the design company laser and integrate it with the logo.
- And you will see a majestically sculptured rock and notice it's heart shape
Friday, September 14, 2007
We are back at Camp Okizu for the second year. For information about the first year, September 15, 2007, please refer to the September 14-17, 2007 journal entries by clicking on the Journal History tab.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Sunday, September 9, 2007
________________________________________
Saturday, September 8, 2007 11:08 PM CDT
TOUGH WEEK…AND FOCUSING ON NICHOLAS' AMAZING LOVE GUIDES US
This past week we experienced two separate upsetting situations that, seemingly, tested our faith in an extremely different way. As hard (relatively) as those situations are, we turn to prayer focusing on love, on God's love, and of course Nicholas' love that allows us to trust and believe in God's love. Faith is not easy when unknown people "choose" to do things that are, simply, not right. Remember how calling out Jesus' name, praying, and just wanting to read the bible provided comfort to Nicholas during his leukemia journey. However drastically different (items removed from the memorial site), we thought about Nicholas' approach and it was another teaching to us. We often say, "Father!" as we call out to God…and His name lovingly helps us to be relatively okay. Helps us to keep focus on our work toward Helping Children Be Children, the good that people do, and hope in all ways that people desire.
A NEW NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® EXPERIENCE - Helping Children Be Children
Nine months ago we delivered a San Francisco 49ers professional football game experience for a patient from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (through donation of the tickets to us by a parent from the Diablo Valley Montessori School that Nicholas attended). This coming Monday, September 10, 2007, the Nicholas Colby Fund begins delivery of San Francisco 49ers football game experiences throughout the entire season. The first experience will be for patients from the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital.
NOTES: We are getting closer to delivery of backpacks for newly diagnosed patients starting with Children's Hospital Oakland; nutritional packs for parents or guardians of patients going into the pediatric intensive care unit continue; and upcoming will be Golden State Warriors professional basketball game experiences throughout the season. (We are working to repeat the joy and smiles generated, with the Warriors organization's help via special visits by Thunder, their mascot, and player meet & greet sessions in our suite and other opportunities.)
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
Sunday, September 2, 2007
________________________________________
Saturday, September 1, 2007 11:04 PM CDT
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® - Helping Children Be Children
Backpacks for newly diagnosed patients will soon start at Children's Hospital Oakland; nutritional packs for parents or guardians of patients going into the pediatric intensive care unit continue; and all of the events/experiences delivered during the first year are upcoming.
THE TOUCH OF LOVE
We often think about what we would be doing with Nicholas and what he would be doing…today, this weekend, this new school year and the love that he would be sharing and receiving. We think about him engaging with friends, with family, and those around him as well as his interaction with nature, with butterflies, with ladybugs, playing & having fun with love.
When we are walking, riding bikes, or driving…we remember Nicholas along side us, holding hands, and holding him while we walked, while we talked, while we just gazed into each other's eyes. And what we remember and know today that our shared touch of love warms our hearts & souls. And we know, because Nicholas knew and loved God…because we trust and believe God, that Nicholas truly is never gone, never far, forever in our hearts & souls.
Nicholas is a touch of love…and for us it is comforting trusting God and for us everyday we feel the notion-some people only dream of angels, we held one, hold one, and are blessed to have one in our life. "Patting" Nicholas was very pleasing to him (remember how he loved us to hold him and pat him) so we trust that our Father, God, is patting Nicholas just right. Patting Nicholas in ways more than satisfying his desires! Remember the words we sang, "Because you live, son, my world has twice as many stars in the sky" (June 10, 2006 and July 17, 2005 journal entries, under Journal History)?
Everyday is a blessing knowing God, knowing Nicholas, and remembering the blessings we experienced and experience loving Nicholas…and being loved by God as well as Nicholas. Nicholas lives in spirit that is not limiting at all...he lives in spirit that is touching and patting lives beyond imaginations. As we have said, "Our angel Nicholas… we don't have to see you to know you are here."
SONG-BY HEART-BY JIM BRICKMAN (pianist)
Songs, music and reading, books are some of the things Nicholas loved. Thinking about his touch of love, tonight I thought about and in my heart heard the song, By Heart:
Hold me close, baby please
Tell me anything but that you're gonna leave
As I kiss this fallen tear
I promise you I will be here
Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart
When you go, I'll stop the clock
I won't ever let this moment stop
Time is stealing you from me
But it can never take this memory
Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
________________________________________
Saturday, August 25, 2007 11:47 PM CDT
ONE YEAR, THREE MONTHS…
Today: It has now been one year and three months that Nicholas has been in Heaven! A gentle breeze at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site today, and this evening while bike riding, generated moments of reflection that, thankfully, surround our lives everyday in ways that at least help us to keep focused on love. God's love! So like the following lyrics from a song-"if you could see me now you wouldn't want me to ever leave this perfect place"-our focus is on Nicholas with God, with Jesus, surrounded by love…playing and having fun!
WHAT WAS EXPERIENCED AT NICHOLAS' SITE TODAY?
Standing at the top of the ridge at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site, the warm/cool breeze…the rainbow pinwheel spinning and reflecting onto the gazing ball…and the reflection of EVERYTHING present seemingly glowing as you gaze into the gazing ball…the colorful plants & flowers on Nicholas' site…an airplane high in the distance with its white smoky trail illuminated by the sun's rays…the hawks soaring…the birds chirping…and then directly overhead the sound of another airplane very high in the sky provided a soothing roar.
All these things became even more magnificent as the breeze sporadically picked up causing the plants, flowers, Nicholas' sports flag on the in-ground flagpole, etc. to wave & flap. Between breezes it was calm allowing the sounds of nature to be heard in a way that each sound magnified-seemingly into my heart. Moments like these I think about the song, What A Wonderful World, and the lyrics "And I think to myself, what a wonderful world…" And I struggle missing Nicholas physically!
ANOTHER SURPRISE
Today, a "winged" statute and a second dolphin snow-globe were left at Nicholas' site. This time, Nicholas' teacher and the mother of a classmate left them. Today, like yesterday, and all the days gone by…and days to come we are thankful that love is not a surprise-love is ever present and its surprise is love that is constant and never, ever failing. Although some things are so very, very hard to understand...and we do think to ourselves, why?
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
________________________________________
Saturday, August 18, 2007 6:40 PM CDT
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND®
Last night it was the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus for patients from UCSF-Children's Hospital…tonight it will be the circus for patients from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital.
Coming up:
- Continued delivery of the nutritional packs for parents/guardians of patients going into the pediatric intensive care unit at Children's Hospital Oakland.
- Backpacks for newly diagnosed patients. It will be a phased implementation to the children's hospitals beginning with Children's Hospital Oakland. (Please refer to the August 4, 2007 journal entry, under Journal History, for more information.
- And soon it will be professional football games…followed by patients having a great time out at the Golden State Warriors professional basketball games, once again, throughout the entire season.
NICHOLAS' TREASURE: HIS LOVE HE "LOVED" TO SHARE
This past week loving Nicholas and Nicholas' love that continually fills our lives in warm, sensitive ways was ever-present. From a message shared by a friend…being asked & becoming Cal's God Parents…to a message from Nicholas' teacher, love warmed our hearts as Sheila and I embraced Nicholas' love-his spirit.
Message from a friend:
Following are excerpts of a message that was shared with us. It was a message with an array of bridges amidst magnificent looking skylines, colors, and places we have all been and hope to be in. It warmed our hearts and touched our souls as the words spoke of how we loved, and love, Nicholas.
Reflections On Life
"Our life cannot always be full of happiness but it can always be full of love…
A true friend is one who holds your hand and thus touches your heart…
Always remember the words from a true friend: "I'll be there for you"…
Work, as if you don't need money; Love, as if nobody has hurt you;
Dance, as if nobody was watching you; Sing, as if nobody was listening;
Live, as if this was paradise on earth."
Our friend, Nicholas' friend, Our Nicholas Colby Fund partner and friend to its work:
This past week Gina Baker, a dear friend who founded the Nicholas Colby Fund® that we have established, asked Sheila and I to be Cal's (her son) God Parents. We know about the traditions of who become God Parents and the nature of God Parents. And we, certainly, know about love and all that simply loving creates. In some ways becoming God Parents was very, very difficult…and at the same time it was and is so amazing as we love Nicholas while allowing his love to enable us to love in this new God Parent role way.
Message from Nicholas' teacher to be shared on Nicholas' site:
The Treasure is a Bench:
"As I watched the Oakmont Memorial Park gentleman tack and cement Nicholas' bench into place on Monday. I was reflecting on relics and treasures of those who have left this world before us-all too soon for most of us.
"Recently, I was thrilled to view cremation remains of Buddhas from South East Asia through a peace-keeping tour to the U.S.-including visits to monasteries, schools, civic venues, etc. There were remains from the original Buddha (or Guatama) from the beginning to the present Dalai Lama. Some were housed in a museum in Rangoon, Burma, where I once lived. Some contained bones; others held teeth, ashes, hair, etc. Some remains came from Sri Lanka, India and other countries. I marveled at their antiquity through the centuries and how those treasures from the past made me feel.
"Forward to now: I now see Nicholas' bench as one of his relics to us. Not only can we recall his mercy frolicking in, around and over it, we can sense his sweet touch and presence. Happily for us, it will now be around for a long, long time for all of us to enjoy and meditate on.
"All of this because of an astute stranger who had simply read an article (in the newspaper) and remembered! We are grateful for all the hands who helped in the return of the bench: Katherine Tam who wrote the article, Jennifer who purchased the bench, the woman who associated the bench to Nicholas' written about in the newspaper, the sheriffs department, and the Oakmont Memorial Park gentleman that installed it back into its proper place.
"With sweet memories and a Mahalo to all who helped; and sweet memories of our wonderful Nicholas!"
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
________________________________________
Saturday, August 11, 2007 10:34 PM CDT
DREAMS…& GOD'S LOVE CARRIES LOVE TO AND FROM NICHOLAS
We learned from others who walk a path with their child in Heaven, we are walking this path, and are so sad knowing friends met along the leukemia journey are now walking this path. What we have learned and has become part of our personal experiences is that "it" does not get easier, "it" just gets different.
Thankfully, as Nicholas knew and "sees" today, God's amazing love (although sometimes it is so hard to understand) is the same from yesterday, today, and will be tomorrow. God's love is constant and endless and we trust and believe His love comforts, provides, and soothes…(although sometimes it is so hard to understand).
There is a Hawaiian singer, Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole, whose soothing and dramatic voice captures moments in a way that enables the words to warmly touch your senses. He sings the song "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" blended with the song "What A Wonderful World (May 6, 2007 and June 23, 2006 journals under Journal History; it is the version from the movie "50 First Dates"). That blended song deeply touches our hearts & souls. Most of you probably know the words to these two songs…and can sense & feel Nicholas as well as your loved ones who may have passed onto Heaven.
The words: over the rainbow, way up high, dreams really do come true, lullaby, wish upon a star…trees of green, red roses too, skies of blue, clouds of white, the colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky, friends saying I love you.
ALSO REMEMBERING THE OCEAN AND BEACH
Well, there is another song called "White Sandy Beach of Hawaii" that Israel Kamakawiwo 'Ole sings that always elicits special meanings because of Nicholas' love for Hawaii, the ocean, and the beach. Following are excerpts from that song:
"Last night in my dreams, we were walking hand in hand, on a white sandy beach, of Hawaii…
We were playing in the sun, we were having so much fun, on a white sandy beach, of Hawaii…
The sound of the ocean, soothes my restless soul, the sound of the ocean, rocks me all night long…
Oh last night in my dreams, I saw your face again; we were there, in the sun, on a white sandy beach, of Hawaii…"
SEEING AND BELIEVING LOVE
Clicking on the "View Photos" tab above or the camera icon below (Home Page), the first two of 3 photos provide a collage of love. Please click, see, and feel love, through God's love lifting a spirit that is truly never gone, never far…forever in our hearts & souls.
ANOTHER VIEW OF LOVE THROUGH YOUNG ADULTS
Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site seems to flow with love…for even adolescents in high school, young adults in college, and those out of college who knew Nicholas regularly make their way to his site to ponder and feel love. It is not uncommon for us to arrive at his site, be at Nicholas' site, or be leaving his site…when young friends are already there or show up. We are thankful for the friendship and love from all of you. And we trust and believe that all of us are helping to make this world a better place…as we again think of the song "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" blended with the song "What A Wonderful World."
Nicholas, we love you…
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Monday, August 6, 2007
Thankfully, it "is" Nicholas' bench and now will go back to its perch at Nicholas' site!
Sunday, August 5, 2007
________________________________________
Saturday, August 4, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
NICHOLAS' TERRA COTTA BENCH MAY HAVE BEEN RECOVERED
Hi everyone, remember the terra cotta bench that was stolen from Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site on June 21, 2007? (If not, please refer to the June 21 journal, under Journal History.) This past Thursday we received a telephone call from the sheriffs office that they believe Nicholas' bench has been recovered-it will be confirmed Monday afternoon at 4:30 PM and at about 5-5:30 PM we will be at Nicholas' Oakmont site to begin the steps of placing it back at the site using a "secured" installation process.
WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT THE RECOVERY: A person purchased the bench outside the entrance of a Concord flea market from an unknown person. The purchaser took it home to have it placed as a memorial for an aunt who recently passed away. When the purchaser had family and friends see the bench, one of them recognized the bench from the newspaper article…and now we are getting the bench back. What a blessing and apparent blessings this bench-situation has generated over the past 1 1/2 months.
THE BENCH: The picture above shows the bench at the site before it was stolen.
REMEMBER: Love begetting love... how we often experienced and talked about the circle of love we have always felt beginning with God, through Nicholas, and directly/indirectly from many of you. Once again, another example and blessing of love is touching our lives-and I believe your lives-via the return of Nicholas' bench.
STRANGERS CARING AND BECOMING FRIENDS: We are so thankful for the person who purchased the bench outside of the flea market…thankful for their wonderful, loving act of arranging the return of the bench to Nicholas' site to once again be perched where it belongs. A blessing to us, to them, and many of you in different ways. What a beautiful reminder about the goodness within all of us!
Our appreciation goes to the Contra Costa Times, Lamorinda Sun, and the Martinez-Pleasant Hill Record from running the story with pictures of the bench and Nicholas in their newspapers. And the Contra Costa County Sheriffs office for the attention to this situation, seemingly, as much as any situation they encounter.
SOME OF THE MESSAGES RECEIVED: Following are some of the messages we have received about the bench's apparent return:
- "In a circular way, people made positive choices to correct the ugly deed that robbed you of the bench."
- "Excellent! There are good people in the world - to 'undo' what the bad people do!"
- "That's fantastic news, I'm so glad for you all - it's comforting to know that most people still have a lot of goodness and humanity in them."
- "I am so glad to hear this. God does work in amazing ways!"
- "I am so happy for you and Sheila. I'm sure the new bench would have been lovely - but nothing could replace the bench that Nicholas actually played on. I guess that newspaper article really paid off! YAY!"
- "That is wonderful news. Look forward to seeing future pictures with the bench back at our Angel's site."
- "This is the best news. It is really very heartwarming that the bench was recognized from the newspaper article and will finally be returned where it belongs at Nicholas' site. It is truly a blessing to see the impact this story has had."
- "That's wonderful news, and ironic that the purchaser was going to use it for the same purpose- as a memorial. Thank goodness for the news article that resonated with the purchaser's relatives."
- "I knew in my heart that you would get the bench back. I knew my prayers would be answered and most of all God is so Good!"
- "Amazing! God works in mysterious ways…"
- "I couldn't be more thrilled to hear this news. Must be another "touch" by Nicholas..."
- "That's great news. It's amazing that the other person purchased the bench for the same purpose. I'm so happy for you and Shelia."
- "I am SOOOOOOO happy!!!! I haven't stopped thinking about that bench. That is a blessing - a true mitzvah."
- "I am so glad that you were able to get the bench back. God knew what it meant to your family."
- "I am so happy you'll get the bench back. (It) brought tears to my eyes reading this!"
- "I know how much the bench means to you guys and I am so happy n glad you are getting it back!"
- "Last June, I was so distressed to hear Nicholas' bench had been stolen. It is amazing that someone saw the article, identified it and returned it to Nicholas. Nicholas sure has friends in high places. I am so happy for you and your family."
ANOTHER PARTNER
Remember the July 28, 2007 private screenings of the movie Ratatouille at Pixar Animation Studios? (If not, please refer to the July 28 journal, under Journal History.) Remember how the Golden State Warriors professional basketball team had been, have been, and continue to be amazing with Nicholas and partners with the Nicholas Colby Fund? Well, Pixar Animation Studios is now just like that-an amazing partner that cares about people and communities beyond creating wonderful movies for children and adults. This new partnership is so fitting with our tag line of Helping Children Be Children. Stay tuned to our events/experiences that will be enhanced because of Pixar Animation Studios.
***ANOTHER WAY YOUR DONATIONS HELP AND YOU CAN HELP***
WORKING TO SECURE ITEMS TO GO INTO THE "NEWEST EXPERIENCE"
The Nicholas Colby Fund is talking with Games Unlimited (toy store out of Danville, CA) toward securing items that will go into the backpacks - details below. Please let us know if you can help with monetary donations (P.O. Box for tax deductible donations is above) or relationships with toy, book, or electronic game/music vendors. And stay tuned for how you could "sponsor" these backpacks.
THE NEWEST EXPERIENCE
Through partnering with the Gabby Krause Foundation out of Colorado (remember, Nicholas was in Denver, Colorado for a few weeks), Samsonite has provided backpacks for all three children hospitals the Nicholas Colby Fund works with. The newest experience we are preparing to deliver toward Helping Children Be Children is backpacks full of fun, engaging toys, games, and books. The outcome of this experience is that one of the first things a newly diagnosed child with a life-threatening illness will see when hospitalized will be...a Nicholas Colby Fund backpack just for them.
We are planning a September 2007 start date and complete details about phasing delivery to Children's Hospital Oakland, Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital will soon be shared. The backpacks will contain: hand-eye coordination items, art & creative items, general learning items (about math, writing, and reading), musical items, imagination items, fun stuff, and more.
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, August 3, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007 11:45 PM CDT
PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS, LEUKEMIA & LYMPHOMA SOCIETY, AND THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND
Pixar collaborated with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS), and the LLS collaborated with the Nicholas Colby Fund®. Together, we filled Pixar's screening room, not once but twice - a second private screening was scheduled this past week for today to accommodate over 400 patients/family members that participated in the two screenings of the movie Ratatouille.
Through the Nicholas Colby Fund®'s work with Children's Hospital Oakland, Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital, we saw smiles on faces from children who previously participated in Nicholas Colby Fund events/experiences...and children we met today for the first time.
We saw parents from our previous events/experiences, parents from Camp Okizu (remember, September 17, 2006 journal entry under Journal History), and met new parents today.
"Nicholas, we love you and thank God for His love...loving you and helping us to know that you are never gone, never far...forever in our hearts and souls." Sharing these words and feelings of God's love was the language we all experienced today.
PHOTOS FROM TODAY AND UPCOMING EVENTS/EXPERIENCES
Please copy and paste the following web address into your browser to access the Nicholas Colby Fund 3rd Quarter 2007 photo album containing pictures and flyers of our continued work this quarter toward Helping Children Be Children:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.byq6bxd2&x=1&y=gcteh1
PARTNERING
Remember we talked about our partnership with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (remember the July 4, 2007 and May 16, 2007 journal entries under the Journal History tab). This past week we spoke on their behalf to Citigroup/Citibank. What is so warm, wonderful, and special is that children and others affected by cancers are the focus of the partners we engage with as well.
***ANOTHER WAY YOUR DONATIONS HELP AND YOU CAN HELP***
WORKING TO SECURE ITEMS TO GO INTO THE "NEWEST EXPERIENCE"
The Nicholas Colby Fund is talking with Games Unlimited (toy store out of Danville, CA) toward securing items that will go into the backpacks - details below. Please let us know if you can help with monetary donations (P.O. Box for tax deductible donations is above) or relationships with toy, book, or electronic game/music vendors.
THE NEWEST EXPERIENCE
Through partnering with the Gabby Krause Foundation out of Colorado (remember, Nicholas was in Denver, Colorado for a few weeks), Samsonite has provided backpacks for all three children hospitals the Nicholas Colby Fund works with. The newest experience we are preparing to deliver toward Helping Children Be Children is backpacks full of fun, engaging toys, games, and books. The outcome of this experience is that one of the first things a newly diagnosed child with a life-threatening illness will see when hospitalized will be...a Nicholas Colby Fund backpack just for them.
We are planning a September 2007 start date and complete details about phasing delivery to Children's Hospital Oakland, Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital will soon be shared. The backpacks will contain: hand-eye coordination items, art & creative items, general learning items (about math, writing, and reading), musical items, imagination items, fun stuff, and more.
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
________________________________________
Sunday, July 22, 2007 11:34 PM CDT
"NICHOLAS IS STILL TEACHING OTHERS…"
Here it is July 2007 and every day, week, month, and now over a year we speak about Nicholas' love and spirit that is always with us…and us with him through God. And although we naturally speak about our precious son, it is nice to see and hear how others speak of Nicholas as well. Last week we heard two stories about Nicholas from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital and Children's Hospital Oakland.
Many of you may remember that shortly after Nicholas' bone marrow transplant in 2005, LPCH created a book about Nicholas that tells a story for others. Using many pictures of Nicholas and his journey through the bone marrow transplant process, LPCH created the book, "Nicholas' Transplant-The story of Nicholas' Bone Marrow Transplant." This book helps new patients and their families prepare for the transplant. The pictures and story reveal steps from being admitted, engaging with the nurses/doctors, decorating the hospital room to personalize it, daily activities from being weighed to playing with child life specialists, chemotherapy and radiation therapy, physical therapy and warm conversations, leaving the hospital and staying at the Ronald McDonald House, and then going home.
- Well, what we heard last week from a staff member is that "Nicholas is still teaching others…" because the book continues to be part of the welcome and introduction for patients and their families. We are thankful that Nicholas "lived" with love everyday of his journey. Following is what a staff member said when the book was first created, "The photos are wonderful and tell such as a story even without the text…"
And last week hearing about the events/experiences the Nicholas Colby Fund has delivered to Children's Hospital Oakland, one doctor wrote the following. (By the way, here too, it is Nicholas that guides what we do so he teaches us as well as what we are hearing from the hospitals.)
- "…I had no idea that the Nicholas Colby Fund had been responsible for making so many activities and joy possible for our kids and their families…"
NICHOLAS AND LAKE TAHOE
This weekend Sheila and I spent a few days on the beach at Lake Tahoe…and just about with every wave, every ray of sun, every piece of sand, and glitter across the amazing blue water we thought of Nicholas. Warm, fun thoughts because Nicholas-too-spent time at Lake Tahoe. And bittersweet thoughts physically missing Nicholas.
And today, the last day, we were so fortunate to play and have fun with friends. It was the Nieuwsmas and their four girls. Remember, the four girls who often visited Nicholas at our home, in the hospital, at the Ronald McDonald House, and played the harp at Nicholas' celebration of life? We spent last night and all day today with them…"playing and having fun"…and thinking & talking about our precious Nicholas.
A YEAR AGO AT LAKE TAHOE…AND WE ARE BLESSED TO FEEL LOVE TODAY
The lodge we stayed in this weekend is the lodge we stayed in a year ago. Looking at the guestbook kept by the lodge, we read our entry from last year. Reading that entry was another blessing to us in terms of reflecting on God's love and Nicholas (again, although bittersweet physically missing Nicholas). Following are the words from that entry:
August 27, 2006
Words and expressions of thank you are just not quite fitting enough for allowing us to have a couple of nights in your "beautiful" home. For us, it was an extremely difficult decision to be away from our home where Nicholas joyfully lived; and the tranquility of just relaxing at the beach, pondering moments gone by and moments now experiencing in your time-gone-by home brought the right balance of God's amazing love for us and Nicholas. The love in the air were beautiful reminders, as well, of His perfect peace that He has for us along with His constant care for our Nicholas. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Love,
Lamont and Sheila Gilbert
PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS, LEUKEMIA & LYMPHOMA SOCIETY, AND THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND
Collaborating with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and their work with Pixar Animation Studios, the Nicholas Colby Fund's relationship with the three children's hospitals have helped to fill 235 seats at a July 28, 2007 private screening of Pixar's latest movie, Ratatouille, where it was created. Arranging patients and their families to visit and see Ratatouille at the Pixar Animation Studios was very successful and Pixar approved a second screening later in the day on July 28 to accommodate an overflowing number of patients desiring this experience.
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EVENTS/EXPERIENCE
Events/experiences continue like our first year…with experiences such as the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus for children from the hospitals coming up next…and special fulfillment of wishes like one we will be fulfilling in the next couple of weeks of a computer for a patient who amazingly endures treatment and will realize a dream of attending college. (The June 10, 2007 journal entry provides a recap of our first year: patients, hospitals, events, and partners/organizations.)
THE NEWEST EXPERIENCE
The newest experience we are preparing to deliver toward Helping Children Be Children is backpacks full of fun, engaging toys, games, and books. The outcome of this experience is that one of the first things a newly diagnosed child with a life-threatening illness will see when hospitalized will be...a Nicholas Colby Fund backpack just for them.
We are planning a September 2007 start date and complete details about phasing delivery to Children's Hospital Oakland, Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital will soon be shared. The backpacks will contain: hand-eye coordination items, art & creative items, general learning items (about math, writing, and reading), musical items, imagination items, fun stuff, and more.
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
________________________________________
Saturday, July 14, 2007 11:40 AM CDT
***Please CLICK ON the View Photos tab at the top of the Home Page or the Camera icon below***
WHAT LIFE BRINGS…WHAT LOVE DOES…WHAT THOSE LIKE NICHOLAS MEAN TO LIFE AND LOVE
We know that Nicholas is not the only child who have left their loved ones physically; we know that Nicholas (like others) means the world to us (to others) in every way that time cannot erase. And we have experienced life in an excruciating way…that lingers even during moments of life that generate a smile and/or warmth to our hearts. Thankfully, through God we believe, feel, and experience blessings of love enabling us to trust our beliefs, savor our feelings, and joyfully experience these blessings knowing Nicholas is never gone, never far…forever in our hearts & souls.
Nicholas seems to hold us today as much as he loved to be held-remember how he loved (and loves) us to hold him, pat him, rock him, sing to him, read with him…? We trust and believe Nicholas just knows and feels he is forever held by us. And he is held by God! Do you remember the song, Held, that was sung during the June 2, 2006 Memorial Service?
Following are the words (it can be heard by accessing www.nicholascolbyfund.org, clicking on Sound Tracks, and then clicking on Held).
"Held" by Natalie Grant, sung on June 2, 2006 by Linda Freitas:
Two months is too little
They let him go they had no sudden healing
To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed, and why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens, to us who have died to live it's unfair
This is what it means to be Held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell we'd be Held
This hand is bitterness we want to taste it,
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow!
This is what it means to be Held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell we'd be Held
If hope is born of suffering,
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait for one hour
Watching for our Savior
This is what it means to be Held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was-"when everything fell, we'd be Held"
We'd be Held
And this is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell, we'd be Held
This is what it means to be Held!
REFLECTING ON MORE MEMORIES
We have always talked about and shared how Nicholas' amazing love and spirit lives on today, simply through his love and through his legacy: the Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children. Another memory within a memory that vibrantly illuminates our spirits is the book, "The Next Place" by Warren Hanson.
We have all the memories of Nicholas' life so rich, colorful, and penetrating with love. A life and last breath that brought (brings) tears…while knowing God was there and He is here, today. Nicholas infused lives with memories to share! Please refer to the July 25, 2006 journal entry, under Journal History, that describes the atmosphere and environment around Nicholas on May 25, 2006 that helped him to know he was and is loved.
Following are excerpts from "The Next Place" that are permanently at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site (engraved on the back of the upright memorial marker) and in our hearts and souls lovingly reminding us of Nicholas' connection with the words:
"I'll glide beyond the rainbows. I'll drift above the sky. I'll fly into the wonder, without ever wondering why.
I'll never be alone; I'll be embraced by all the family and friends I've ever known. Although I might not see their faces, all our hearts will beat as one. And the circle of our spirits will shine brighter than the sun.
I'll have the love of those who loved me, and the warmth of those who cared…the happiness and memories and magic that we shared. I will cherish all the friendships I was fortunate to find, all the love and all the laughter in the place I leave behind. All these good things will go with me; they will make my spirit glow. And the light will shine forever in the next place that I go."
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EVENTS/EXPERIENCE
Events/experiences continue like our first year…with experiences such as the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus for children from the hospitals coming up next…and special fulfillment of wishes like one we will be fulfilling in the next couple of weeks of a computer for a patient who amazingly endures treatment and will realize a dream of attending college. (The June 10, 2007 journal entry provides a recap of our first year: patients, hospitals, events, and partners/organizations.)
Also, collaborating with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and their collaboration with Pixar Animation Studios, we are working with the three children's hospitals arranging patients and their families to see Pixar's latest movie, Ratatouille, where it was created. We are working to fill 235 seats so these patients can visit the Pixar Animation Studios on July 28, 2007, and see the movie as well!
THE NEWEST EXPERIENCE
Our newest experience we are preparing to deliver toward Helping Children Be Children is backpacks full of fun, engaging toys, games, and books. The outcome of this experience is that one of the first things a newly diagnosed child with a life-threatening illness will see when hospitalized will be...a Nicholas Colby Fund backpack just for them.
We are planning a September 2007 start date and complete details about phasing delivery to Children's Hospital Oakland, Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital will soon be shared. We will also share information about our collaboration with The Gabby Krause Foundation out of Denver, Colorado toward helping to make this new experience come to life.
The backpacks will contain:
- Hand, eye coordination items
- Art, creative items
- General learning items about math, writing, and reading
- Musical items
- Imagination items
- And more
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, July 13, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Sunday, July 8, 2007
________________________________________
Saturday, July 7, 2007 11:46 PM CDT
STINSON BEACH: SAND, WAVES, WAMRTH, BREEZE…NICHOLAS' SPIRIT EVERYWHERE
Today, Sheila and I took a drive to Stinson Beach. The sky was blue…the water a vibrant blue…the sand warm…the waves crashing creating a gentle roar & an un-mistakenly white color that crashing waves generate…the breeze was soothing…and Nicholas' spirit was everywhere-never gone, never far.
The drive was nice, the scenery amazing, and the connection with Nicholas and love shared with Nicholas-thankfully-continues to be so beautiful. We flew a kite for Nicholas and his spirit uplifted our hearts a little more (to calm our anxiety just a little from missing him physically).
Sheila found three heart-shaped rocks. The picture above on this Home Page is Sheila's hand holding three heart-shaped rocks; 3 different sizes for Nicholas, Sheila, & me (Lamont). And we also see them as three heart-shaped rocks for our other 3 boys with Nicholas' spirit all around, everywhere!
THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND IN THE 3RD QUARTER OF 2007
The events and experiences for the 3rd quarter are being developed and we know that like our first event/experience provided by the Fund in 2006, the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus will be one of the first events/experiences to begin the second event/experience year for patients from Children's Hospital Oakland, Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital.
Please copy and paste the following web address into your browser to access the Nicholas Colby Fund 3rd Quarter 2007 photo album that will contain pictures of the flyers and smiles from patients as we continue our work toward Helping Children Be Children:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.byq6bxd2&x=1&y=gcteh1
NEW EXPERIENCE TO BE PROVIDED
We are now preparing for a new experience in addition to the events/experiences delivered during the first event/experience year of the Nicholas Colby Fund that will be re-created this second year. And we are continually providing the nutritional packs that are immediately available on site for every parent of a child going into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Children's Hospital Oakland (please refer to the March 17, 2007 journal entry under the Journal History tab).
Backpacks to children diagnosed with cancer and other life threatening illnesses! We are thankful we were able to provide Nicholas with lots of fun, interesting things to do while in the hospital. And we are grateful for the things many of you did to provide Nicholas with fun things along the way as well. Remember how we always transformed his hospital room into a fun, playful room (please refer to the April 1, 2005 journal entry and the third album [Day 132 leading to BMT…] under Links for the pictures by scrolling to April 21, 2005).
THE NEWEST EXPERIENCE we are preparing to deliver toward Helping Children Be Children will be backpacks full of fun, engaging toys, games, and books. We will soon communicate details about our collaboration with The Gabby Krause Foundation out of Denver, Colorado toward making this new experience come to life.
The backpacks will contain:
- Hand, eye coordination items
- Art, creative items
- General learning items about math, writing, and reading
- Musical items
- Imagination items
- And more
So one of the first things a newly diagnosed child will see when going into the room when hospitalized will be...a Nicholas Colby Fund backpack just for them.
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, July 6, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
________________________________________
Wednesday, July 4, 2007 11:50 PM CDT
"FIREWORKS" AND VIBRANT COLORS OF LOVE WITHIN
Again, regardless of the time that goes by…it does not get easier, it just gets different.
Tonight we took some of Nicholas' toys that illuminate with flashing/swirling colors and created our own colorful, light display at his Oakmont Memorial Park site.
This Independence Day, although you and each of us have our lives to live, we wish you all more freedom from the everyday challenges as well as love to overcome heartaches! And we hope you see the everyday blessings that are touches of love to warm your hearts and brighten your lives in some way.
HELPING OTHERS IN THE WAYS WE EACH CAN
Everyone, everywhere helps another in small/big ways, directly/indirectly, and known/unknown ways. This coming Friday, the Lamorinda Sun (local newspaper for Lafayette, Moraga, Orinda), a separate component of the Contra Costa Times, is running an article about Nicholas' Terra Cotta bench, Nicholas, and the Nicholas Colby Fund. (The June 21, 2007 journal, under Journal History, talks about the Terra Cotta bench situation.)
NICHOLAS WE LOVE YOU AND YOUR SPIRIT
The Nicholas Colby Fund, Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS), and CaringBridge are a few of many entities that focus on helping...and positive impacts on what we call "Helping Children Be Children." And it is especially heartwarming to experience the concerted efforts of entities like these that generate love in the many ways they do (we do).
Recently, at the request of the LLS we collaborated with them to help toward their mission. We spoke on their behalf at one of their corporate events because we recognize that the outcomes of all the entities like ours, and similar to the LLS and CaringBridge, is for the good of children and others impacted by cancer and other life-threatening illnesses. To us the outcomes from the work of these entities, along with the life journeys that some children have to take is equally important. And our work is focused on the daily journey as well as the outcomes…helping children to smile, laugh, and have another moment or two just being a child at play.
Nicholas, we love you and reach out to you and with you-Helping Children Be Children. And know, son, "just know," that we love you every moment of every day! We trust the brilliant, vibrant, loving colors we see are reflections of your love and the love of many beautiful children at God's side.
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Monday, July 2, 2007
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Saturday, June 30, 2007 6:51 PM CDT
JULY
We do not count the days, weeks, or months; however, we do reflect and say & express "I love you" over, and over, and over to Nicholas. This weekend we talked more about knowing Nicholas is not missing us because with God-and God's speed-Nicholas is simply "playing and having fun" as if he was at school for the day or an afternoon get-away with loving friends. While we know that time is slipping by, our love and feeling Nicholas' love is held ever so tightly next to our hearts and joined with our souls. We are thankful for God's love allowing us to "just know" that Nicholas knows he is loved and our love is shared through God…forever and ever. And Nicholas is full of love and "light" illuminating everything within and around him.
As July begins we will start the second year of the Nicholas Colby Fund and our work to surpass the 500 mark set in the first year. And this, too, is just a number-the loving touch of Nicholas and his legacy through the Nicholas Colby Fund does not need to be measured. The smiles, laughter, and love shared through Nicholas' legacy are simply beyond measure and we thank God for this as well! (Please refer to the June 10, 2007 journal, under Journal History, for details about the first year's milestones...Helping Children Be Children.)
JUNE 2007 NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® EXPERIENCES
- June 7, 2007 Sesame Street Live experience for patients from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital filling the luxury suite
- June 10, 2007 Sesame Street Live experience for patients from the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital
- June 15, 2007 Ball4Real Streetball Tour experience (featuring the best streetball basketball players in the world made famous on ESPN's "Streetball") for patients from Children's Hospital Oakland
- Continually, the "nutritional packs" are immediately available on site for every parent of a child going into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Children's Hospital Oakland
Pictures for June are on the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
________________________________________
Wednesday, June 27, 2007 11:48 PM CDT
FEELING CLOSED IN…AND PRAYING TO FIND MY WAY OUT AND TO NICHOLAS
When traveling by air, Sheila would always get on the plane last-not last out of our family, last out of all passengers-because she wanted to be in closed surroundings as little as possible. I smiled thinking about this today, not because of Sheila wanting to be on the plane last…because it generated more happy thoughts of being with Nicholas (and our other boys). Nicholas really liked to travel and was a perfect traveler in all aspects of patience, temperament, and the joy of discovering things along the way as well as at our destinations. (There are plenty of pictures of Nicholas traveling on the three albums under Links on the Home Page.)
I thought about these things today because in some way it helped me to understand how I have been feeling lately. Sporadically I have felt like walls were closing in on me and I could not find a "door" to see Nicholas. It has been a Closter phobic feeling…and I have not liked it at all. However, this experience has helped me to understand and be more sensitive to Closter phobic situations of others. For me, remembering that God is God and His love and light shines brighter than one could ever imagine helps to free myself from any dark notion, any notion of being closed in. And I must remember and not let go for a moment of the truth that I feel Love's presence everywhere and see the light of Love through Nicholas' presence that is never gone, never far...forever in our hearts & souls.
LATER THIS WEEK
Later this week we will share information about another collaborative effort by the Nicholas Colby Fund. We will share this work and its link to our tag line: Helping Children Be Children. And as June comes to a close we will begin the second year of the Nicholas Colby Fund and our work to surpass the 500 mark set in the first year. (Please refer to the June 10, 2007 journal, under Journal History, for details about the first year's milestones...Helping Children Be Children.)
***BECAUSE WE TALKED ABOUT A PICNIC THIS PAST SUNDAY***
Did you see the 3 pictures by clicking on View Photos above or the camera icon below?
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
________________________________________
Sunday, June 24, 2007 9:04 PM CDT
ONE YEAR & ONE MONTH AGO…AND TODAY
Tomorrow (Monday, June 25, 2007) it will be one year & one month that Nicholas has been in Heaven! So today, what was experienced and felt was sweet bitter sweet.
TODAY
Early afternoon we were at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site (here in Lafayette) and removed the terra cotta birdbath. We brought it back home and into our yard. We are thinking about replacing the terra cotta bench that was taken from the site by someone, as well as getting another terra cotta birdbath at the same time, and then have them bolted to a cement foundation at Nicholas' site. Although the bench is gone, the love felt and experienced thankfully remains. You know what I am going to say now…"Nicholas is never gone, never far…forever in our hearts & souls."
FUNNY THING REMEMBERED: When we returned home we placed the birdbath back into its original spot and did a little gardening. Nicholas was always so helpful in the garden and yard as well. I remembered something Nicholas said that helped me to smile today:
A lot of squirrels roam our back yard and it is common to see them on the back patio running around. When Nicholas sat in the family room and saw the squirrels getting into mom's potted plants, Nicholas would call out to mom: "Mom, a squirrel is in your plants!" He seemed to enjoy tattling on the squirrels to see mom chase the squirrel away. We could hear his voice now and see the joy on his face-a simple pleasure that we treasure.
THIS AFTERNOON
Later this afternoon we went on a picnic…yes, Nicholas enjoyed picnics too (who doesn't). We took a very short drive up to St. Mary's College (Nicholas has been there too.) We stopped at a place near the soccer field that happened to be the spot we last went on a bicycle ride/picnic with our other three boys, at the ages of 14, 10, and 8, before Nicholas was born. A ladybug greeted us as we were setting up our picnic. And then there were butterflies. As we sat and gazed into the beautiful blue, serene sky there were planes very, very high above occasionally providing a soothing roaring/soaring sound. There were birds floating, gliding, and flapping around.
As we were enjoying all these beautiful things we were reflecting on God's love and what love provides to the heart & soul. It was now 4:00 in the afternoon and while Sheila was asleep (resting on the picnic blanket), in the Eastern sky the moon was rising. It was a 3-quarters moon above the rolling hills at St Mary's College.
All of these blessed moments, of course, had us longing for Nicholas physically and we again thought about God's love to bring us comfort. And then I thought about the book, The Next Place (read to Nicholas one year and one month ago tomorrow). We thought about the back of the upright marker at Nicholas site that contains excerpts from The Next Place. Those excerpts were felt in our hearts & souls...remember the excerpts:
"I'll glide beyond the rainbows. I'll drift above the sky. I'll fly into the wonder, without ever wondering why.
I'll never be alone; I'll be embraced by all the family and friends I've ever known. Although I might not see their faces, all our hearts will beat as one. And the circle of our spirits will shine brighter than the sun.
I'll have the love of those who loved me, and the warmth of those who cared…the happiness and memories and magic that we shared. I will cherish all the friendships I was fortunate to find, all the love and all the laughter in the place I leave behind. All these good things will go with me; they will make my spirit glow. And the light will shine forever in the next place that I go."
LATER THIS WEEK
Later this week we will share information about another collaborative effort by the Nicholas Colby Fund. We will share this work and its link to our tag line: Helping Children Be Children. And as June comes to a close we will begin the second year of the Nicholas Colby Fund and our work to surpass the 500 mark set in the first year. (Please refer to the June 10, 2007 journal, under Journal History, for details about the first year's milestones...Helping Children Be Children.)
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
________________________________________
Thursday, June 21, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
A SAD DAY IN A VERY DIFFERENT WAY
As you know, we visit Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site here in Lafayette just about daily. We were there yesterday evening (Wednesday), and this evening when I arrived at the site I was greeted by an apparent terrible, terrible act: The terra cotta bench was gone. This is the bench in the above Home Page picture (seen in all the Nicholas Colby Fund albums) that we had placed onto the site a year ago. It is the terra cotta bench that Nicholas sat on, played on, and was at our house during Nicholas' physical life.
I was stunned! I was and simply cannot believe that someone would take ANY item from this or any site of a loved one in these situations (or any situation). While we want to believe in a positive way we thought:
- Maybe someone removed it to surprise us with something like…engraving… But why on an item like this?
- We thought maybe it was damaged…SOMEHOW…by someone on the site and they wanted to remove and replace it before we saw the situation. However, because the grounds crew knows that we visit the site almost daily…we figured they would have called us today to inform us.
- We just do not know WHY.
Because it was evening when I arrived, the Oakmont office was closed. I left a message with their answering service and left a voice mail for the grounds crew supervisor. I then called the police and they arrived and took a report.
So, this is a very sad day in a very different way. I was hoping to share some news on the journal tonight with all of you about another collaborative effort by the Nicholas Colby Fund with another organization. I do not know why the bench was taken and the situation has physically and emotionally exhausted me (and I do recognize that the terra cotta bench is just a physical item). We will go to bed tonight also praying for this situation, thinking and praying that this situation will be alright…for the person(s) involved and for someway to help us to understand and for it to be alright for us too-somehow!
PROCLAMATION READ AND DELIVERED TO THUNDER
Following is the wording of the proclamation read and delivered to Thunder at our first fundraiser dinner this past Monday. Yesterday (Wednesday) we delivered this proclamation to the Warriors' executive staff as well.
With the Nicholas Colby Fund reaching a significant milestone this month in its first year-directly helping 500 patients and their family members to smile a little more-the timing of this proclamation seems sweet. Sweet in that Warriors like many of you have helped us to generate one more smile, one more moment of laughter, one more opportunity to have fun, one more chance to play, and one more memory to cherish simply being a child. However, then it is bittersweet because Nicholas is physically not with us…and sweet bitter sweet because Nicholas we trust & believe is angelically with God and knows all the love we have and continue to have for him.
Here is the wording:
On this 18th day of June 2007, the Nicholas Colby Fund® (NCF) hereby formerly proclaims that the Golden State Warriors professional basketball organization and Thunder (their mascot) have proactively infused their caring community actions into a little boy-Nicholas Colby Gilbert-generating great experiences for Nicholas. Nicholas' amazing spirit, energy, enthusiasm, joy, and endless passion for caring about others continue to amaze us all-providing an inspiration of love and life.
And the NCF continually expresses its love and appreciation for Thunder as well. As an amazing child, Nicholas, full of life, lived constantly surrounded by love and sharing love through his angelic caring ways. His legacy of love, caring, and sharing continues in a myriad of ways including the Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children. He is never gone, never far...in our hearts & souls forever.
We further proclaim that the Warriors organization caring, loving actions for the good of the Nicholas Colby Fund exponentially helps the NCF to deliver amazing events / experiences for children with cancer, a degenerating condition, and other life threatening illnesses. This proclamation expresses the generosity of the Warriors supporting the NCF's actions: Helping Children Be Children.
The Warriors organization continues to be ubiquitous in Nicholas' life and legacy. Not for publicity, not for praise, the Warriors organization showed up and continues to show up! Whether people are looking or not they demonstrate love, caring, and sharing. They have been much more than a community partner-they have been Nicholas' friends.
Thunder was "there" for Nicholas: playing and having fun with Nicholas at our home, in the hospital, at Warriors games, and was the master of ceremony for Nicholas' Celebration of Life. The Warriors and Thunder's caring nature in communities is realized, not because they have to...because they care.
Thunder it has been known, and now it is formerly known, that we love you and the Golden State Warriors professional basketball organization. Thunder, you are Nicholas' hero, our hero, and a hero to tens of thousands of people everywhere-near and far. And Nicholas' spirit interacts with yours harmoniously creating a great time for tens of thousands of more people as time goes by.
Gina Baker, Lamont Gilbert, Sheila Gilbert
CEO & Founder, President, Vice President
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
________________________________________
Monday, June 18, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES IS NOT ENOUGH
Our first Nicholas Colby Fund fundraiser dinner was amazingly successful…because of Nicholas, because of you, because of Thunder (Golden State Warriors mascot), and because of the Warriors organization! All of you in attendance and with us in spirit, thank you a million times and more! Family, neighbors, families from Nicholas' Diablo Valley Montessori School in Lafayette, families from church, colleagues, friends from Nicholas' brothers' high school and college, friends met along the way, and new friends met tonight...
As you know, 100-percent of the funds coming into the Nicholas Colby Fund goes to the events / experiences we deliver…Helping Children Be Children. Remember, the June 10, 2007 journal entry (under the Journal History tab) highlights the events / experiences and our partners & organizations that have helped us to uplift spirits…generating smiles to over 500 patients and their family members during the first year.
THE RAFFLE GENERATED: $1,045.00 to the Nicholas Colby Fund®
THE DINNERS GENERATED: TBD and within 30 days Chevys Restaurant will mail a check for 25-percent to the Nicholas Colby Fund. We will share the amount once we are informed. However, all of you helped to generate something else…love and fun toward Nicholas! It was astonishing to see the incredible number of people loving Nicholas and supporting his legacy.
The restaurant was gratefully overwhelmed and called in for more help. Watching and hearing Chevys' staff add seats and tables was a beautiful site in one respect…and in another respect we are grateful for those of you who were patient.
THUNDER SURE DID ENTERTAIN THE KIDS AND ADULTS!
The Home Page picture above and a couple seen by clicking on View Photos are just a few of the many pictures showing you and Thunder playing and having fun. Please copy and paste the following web address into your browser to access the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album to see all the pictures:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
RAFFLE WINNERS OF THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS AUTOGRAPHED ITEMS (each with a letter of authenticity)
The CLOUSES
- 2006/2007 Golden State Warriors autographed team basketball
KIRK
- Baron Davis autographed swingman jersey
LORI
- Adonal Foyle autographed hat
JOEY
- Adonal Foyle autographed poster
The MOELLERINGS
- Sarunas Jasikevicius autographed basketball
SUE
- "SURPRISE" ITEM: Self-action portrait of Thunder on canvas-red (38" x 26")
SURPRISE GIFT FROM THUNDER TO NICHOLAS & THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND
- Self-action portrait of Thunder on canvas-blue (38" x 26")
PROCLAMATION READ AND DELIVERED TO THUNDER
On this 18th day of June 2007, the Nicholas Colby Fund (NCF) hereby formerly proclaims that the Golden State Warriors professional basketball organization and Thunder (their mascot) have proactively infused their caring community actions into a little boy-Nicholas Colby Gilbert-generating great experiences for Nicholas. Nicholas' amazing spirit, energy, enthusiasm, joy, and endless passion for caring about others continue to amaze us all-providing an inspiration of love and life.
And the NCF continually expresses its love and appreciation for Thunder as well. As an amazing child, Nicholas, full of life, lived constantly surrounded by love and sharing love through his angelic caring ways. His legacy of love, caring, and sharing continues in a myriad of ways including the Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children. He is never gone, never far...in our hearts & souls forever.
We further proclaim that the Warriors organization caring, loving actions for the good of the Nicholas Colby Fund exponentially helps the NCF to deliver amazing events / experiences for children with cancer, a degenerating condition, and other life threatening illnesses. This proclamation expresses the generosity of the Warriors supporting the NCF's actions: Helping Children Be Children.
The Warriors organization continues to be ubiquitous in Nicholas' life and legacy. Not for publicity, not for praise, the Warriors organization showed up and continues to show up! Whether people are looking or not they demonstrate love, caring, and sharing. They have been much more than a community partner-they have been Nicholas' friends.
Thunder was "there" for Nicholas: playing and having fun with Nicholas at our home, in the hospital, at Warriors games, and was the master of ceremony for Nicholas' Celebration of Life. The Warriors and Thunder's caring nature in communities is realized, not because they have to...because they care.
Thunder it has been known, and now it is formerly known, that we love you and the Golden State Warriors professional basketball organization. Thunder, you are Nicholas' hero, our hero, and a hero to tens of thousands of people everywhere-near and far. And Nicholas' spirit interacts with yours harmoniously creating a great time for tens of thousands of more people as time goes by.
Gina Baker, Lamont Gilbert, Sheila Gilbert
CEO & Founder, President, Vice President
________________________________________
Sunday, June 17, 2007 10:13 PM CDT
FATHER'S DAY
I know and remember exactly what Nicholas would have done today. "Happy Father's Day" in a soft, warm, loving way would have been the first thing Nicholas said this morning as he whispered in my ear in bed or stated running down the hall-or just after midnight last night. He would have shared love! Oh, what a GREAT son is Nicholas and so full of love as well as respect (even during terrible times in the hospital as nurse Colleen wrote about in a guestbook entry today).
Late morning there were quiet moments at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site…or as the bench reads: Saint Nicholas Park Way, The Ridgetop. Remember? Taking in the warm, calm breeze…the birds…the butterflies…and all the things of beautiful moments hoped for was a blessing. I was alone and then my oldest son, Christopher, drove up to the "ridgetop" and we shared God's love.
This afternoon the boys, Sheila, and I went out to eat…then ice cream…then we took in the coastal breeze of the Bay as we walked and watched kites big (really big, like 25 feet) to small ones (like most of us have flown as a child or adult) at a kite park on the Berkeley Marina. This is a spot Nicholas liked to have picnics…sometimes in the car to watch the sunset as well as the stars and the moon with the waves crashing in. Oh, how memorable are so many wonderful things in my life. Oh, how sweet these memories are to my mind. And oh, how I miss Nicholas…although thankful he touches my heart and soul. This is my life!
As another day comes to an end…another sets to begin. As another week begins…my life extends to all of the tomorrows and not one day goes by without Nicholas' love on my mind. Remember, sometimes I just sit and think…praying about Nicholas, the boy that changed so much in me. Thankful to be the father of my boys whether they are near or far. Thankful God is our father and trusting He is here and He is "there" with Nicholas.
LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING THOSE THAT CAN MAKE IT-REMEMBERING NICHOLAS
Remember, you are invited to join us at Chevys Restaurant tomorrow, MONDAY, June 18, 2007 between 11:00 AM - 10:30 PM at 650 Ellinwood Way in Pleasant Hill, CA for a Nicholas Colby Fund fundraiser lunch and dinner.
- The main gathering will be from 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM and Sheila & I will be there during this time period.
- Special appearance by Thunder, mascot of the Golden State Warriors professional basketball team, between 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM.
- Raffle for the GREAT Warriors autographed items at 8:00 PM, with tickets being sold from 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM at Chevys.
- Raffle tickets are "one for $5.00" and "five for $20.00" and of course ALL of the proceeds go to the events / experiences the Nicholas Colby Fund delivers. The June 10, 2007 journal (under Journal History) highlights the events / experiences and our partners & organizations that have helped us to uplift spirits…generatig smiles to over 500 patients and their family members during the first year.
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
________________________________________
Thursday, June 14, 2007 9:55 PM CDT
THIS WEEK HAS BEEN…VERY DIFFERENT (Although love is constantly felt)
Remember how we have been saying, "It does not get easier, it gets different"? And remember Nicholas always loved God, knowing God loved (loves) him, we love him, and love surrounded (surround) him from many of you! These loving truths keep us, however, this week for some reason it has been difficult in very different-unexplainable-ways. The smiles on our faces are real…and they are not. We have gotten through the days & nights…and in some ways we have not.
While we keep smiling (when not just sad & crying) and while we keep going into each day & every night trusting and believing God's love…we trust and believe God will be with us to see us through our lives. Allowing us to see our boys grow into their lives. And guide us into everlasting life with Nicholas.
So while it has been so "different" this week we are so fortunate that God's love does not get different-His love is consistently with us!
FUN FUNDRAISER COMING UP JUNE 18, 2007-REMEMBERING NICHOLAS
See the flyer by clicking on View Photos and the all the autographed auction items by accessing the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album. Just copy and paste the following web address into your browser:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
Remember, please join us at Chevys Restaurant on June 18, 2007 between 11:00 AM - 10:30 PM at 650 Ellinwood Way in Pleasant Hill, CA for a Nicholas Colby Fund fundraiser lunch and dinner. The June 6, 2007 journal (under Journal History) has complete details, including a list of the great raffle items provided by the Golden State Warriors.
- The main gathering will be from 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM and Sheila & I will be there during this time period.
- Special appearance by Thunder, mascot of the Golden State Warriors professional basketball team, between 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM.
NO JOURNALS WRITTEN:
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
________________________________________
Sunday, June 10, 2007 9:54 PM CDT
NICHOLAS…HELPING US & HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN
Every day, week, month, and now over one year since Nicholas has been in Heaven we painfully miss Nicholas physically…and we are thankful God's love allows us to spiritually be with Nicholas and Nicholas with us. Remember, Nicholas is never gone, never far…in our hearts & souls forever. Nicholas, "we just know…" Nicholas was (as you probably read throughout these journals) amazingly loving & caring and his giving presence continues today through his legacy: The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children.
The month of June 2007 has started out with back-to-back Sesame Street Live - Elmo Makes Music events for over two dozen patients and their families from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital.
In Nicholas' first year in Heaven, he and the Nicholas Colby Fund have directly helped over 500 patients and their family members to smile a little more than they have been. One more smile, one more moment of laughter, one more opportunity to have fun, one more chance to play, and one more memory to cherish simply being a child.
OUR EVENTS & EXPERIENCES over the last year for patients from the Bay Area children's hospitals:
- Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus
- Professional basketball: Golden State Warriors, Harlem Globetrotters, and Streetball
- Disneyland
- Disney on Ice
- Professional football: San Francisco 49ers
- Motocross
- Professional bull riding
- San Francisco ballet
- Magic on Ice
- The Wiggles
- Sesame Street Live
- Nutritional Packs constantly on site for parents of a child going into the pediatric ICU
- Thanksgiving Day dinners
- New Year's Eve dinners and party favors
- And several other experiences created toward Helping Children Be Children
PARTNERS AND ORGANIZATIONS on our events & experiences have been our loving fortune, including all of you who directly and indirectly support our and your work:
- The Golden State Warriors professional basketball organization
- LeapFrog International
- Diablo Foods of Lafayette
- Admac Digital Imaging of Emeryville
- Games Unlimited of Danville
- Learning Technology Partners
- Hartmann Studios
- AAA, California State Automobile Association
- California Café of Palo Alto
- Mimico, and Golden West Incorporated
WHAT'S COMING UP
(On June 15, 2007 - see the Nicholas Colby Fund flyer above)
The Nicholas Colby Fund is sending patients and their families from Children's Hospital Oakland into our luxury suite to experience Ball4Real Streetball Tour (basketball). It is a 30-city tour that features top stars made famous on ESPN's "Streetball," the best streetball basketball players in the world.
(On June 18, 2007 - see the flyer by clicking on View Photos, and all the autographed auction items by accessing the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album. Just copy and paste the following web address into your browser)
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
Remember, please join us at Chevys Restaurant on June 18, 2007 between 11:00 AM - 10:30 PM at 650 Ellinwood Way in Pleasant Hill, CA for a Nicholas Colby Fund fundraiser lunch and dinner. The June 6, 2007 journal (under Journal History) has complete details, including a list of the great raffle items provided by the Golden State Warriors.
- The main gathering will be from 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM and Sheila & I will be there during this time period.
- Special appearance by Thunder, mascot of the Golden State Warriors professional basketball team, between 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Friday, June 8, 2007 11:40 PM CDT
(Today)
SAD AFTERNOON, JOYOUS EVENING, AND THANKFULLY ALWAYS LOVING THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
Camilia is a young girl Nicholas met in the hospital and a young girl who became our friend. We were very sad this afternoon because…we attended her funeral. The night before Camilia passed away, she said something that lifted the spirits of those around her. The nurse and Camilia's mother told us of this loving moment wherein Camilia said she saw Nicholas at the foot of her bed…and said seeing Nicholas helped her to not be afraid...she was joyous and knew she was loved.
This evening there were joyous moments, Nicholas' third brother (Matt) graduated from high school along with family friends Jordan, Allie, Becky, Joe, Connor, Brett, Dustin, Stuart, another Joe, and many others.
Thankfully, our trust in God helps us to experience loving thoughts and feelings daily, although every single day there is sadness and pain deep within us. Yes, like we have learned and experience…it does not get easier, it gets "different." And thankfully, God is the same loving God everyday guiding and massaging our hearts every aspect of our lives. For Nicholas, we smile just imagining how perfect and pure every everything is for him as he is feeling, hearing, smelling, tasting, seeing and "playing & having fun" being more than just part of God's wonderful love.
NICHOLAS…HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN
(This coming Sunday afternoon at 1:00)
Sunday afternoon patients from the University of San Francisco-Children's Hospital will be guests of Nicholas and the Nicholas Colby Fund at Sesame Street Live's, "Elmo Makes Music." Once again, we are so glad these children will be focusing on fun and not medicine...even if it is just another moment to smile!
(On June 15, 2007 - see the Nicholas Colby Fund flyer by clicking on View Photos)
The Nicholas Colby Fund is sending patients and their families from Children's Hospital Oakland into our luxury suite to experience Ball4Real Streetball Tour (basketball). It is a 30-city tour that features top stars made famous on ESPN's "Streetball," the best streetball basketball players in the world.
(On June 18, 2007 - see the flyer and the autographed auction items by accessing the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album by copying and pasting the following web address into your browser)
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
Remember, please join us at Chevys Restaurant on June 18, 2007 between 11:00 AM - 10:30 PM at 650 Ellinwood Way in Pleasant Hill, CA for a Nicholas Colby Fund fundraiser lunch and dinner. The June 6, 2007 journal (under Journal History) has complete details, including a list of the great raffle items provided by the Golden State Warriors.
- The main gathering will be from 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM and Sheila & I will be there during this time period.
- Special appearance by Thunder, mascot of the Golden State Warriors professional basketball team, between 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Wednesday, June 6, 2007 10:17 PM CDT
NICHOLAS…HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN (Thursday night)
Tomorrow night (Thursday) patients from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital will be guests of Nicholas and the Nicholas Colby Fund at Sesame Street Live's, "Elmo Makes Music." We are so glad these children will be focusing on fun and not medicine. And for us, helping children be children massages our hearts as Nicholas' love continues to beat and reach others.
Elmo, The Count, Cookie Monster, Big Bird, Bert & Ernie and all their funny and furry friends will be taking to the stage to share the magical world of music with the children.
CHEVYS FUNDRAISER LUNCH AND DINNER (June 18)
Please join us at Chevys Restaurant on June 18, 2007 between 11:00 AM - 10:30 PM at 650 Ellinwood Way in Pleasant Hill, CA off highway 680 between Concord and Walnut Creek. For reference their phone number is (925) 685-6651.
- Chevys will donate 25 percent of the sales to the Nicholas Colby Fund, helping us toward our work of Helping Children Be Children.
***A special flyer must be presented to the server at the time of checkout***
If you were not on the email distribution containing the flyer, flyers will be available between 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM from Kimmy Abbas (our coordinator) at the restaurant.
- The main gathering will be from 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM and Sheila & I will be there during this time period.
- SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY THUNDER, mascot of the Golden State Warriors professional basketball team, between 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM.
- SPECIAL RAFFLE ITEMS THANKS TO THE WARRIORS ORGANIZATION, and raffle tickets will be sold from 6-7:30 PM with the raffle held at 8:00 PM. The items are:
-2006/2007 Golden State Warriors autographed team basketball
-Baron Davis autographed swingman jersey
-Adonal Foyle autographed hat
-Adonal Foyle autographed poster
-Sarunas Jasikevicius autographed basketball
***Each item will have a letter of authenticity***
As you have seen and heard, the Warriors organization has walked with Nicholas before the leukemia, during the leukemia, at the Celebration of life, and continues to walk with and for Nicholas and all the children we are fortunate to help. Golden State Warriors, "We Believe!" Thank you Bobby, Neda, Brian, Jo-Marie, and Thunder!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Monday, June 4, 2007 10:09 PM CDT
NICHOLAS, NICHOLAS, NICHOLAS, AND ALL OF THESE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WE ARE BLESSED TO ENGAGE
The "Home Page photo" above and the first two pictures of the "3 View Photos" show the flyers for the next three Nicholas Colby Fund experiences. We have been asked about the photos, especially the props in the pictures:
- Yes that is Nicholas' Elmo in the two pictures about the Sesame Street Live events June 7 and June 10 for Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital and the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital, respectively
- Yes that is Nicholas, tan pants and jacket, in the picture for those flyers in front of the Dean Lesher Regional Center for the Arts (after a performance he and his classmates went to see)
- Yes that is the outdoor basketball hoop & net at our house that Nicholas shot baskets into. And yes, the pictures in that flyer for the June 15 streetball basketball tour for Children's Hospital Oakland are pictures of Nicholas playing basketball with the same hoop & net
Note: All of the flyers for the dozens of experiences/events the Nicholas Colby Fund has provided for patients and their families contain pictures of Nicholas at corresponding events…and props like basketball jerseys, basketballs (regular and Harlem Globetrotters), characters (like Elmo, Mickey/Minnie Mouse, stick pony, etc.), books (like Martin Luther King, Jr) are Nicholas'.
NICHOLAS IN GERMANY?
Dear friends, Tina and Mitch, from Germany are on a trip visiting castles, waterfalls, the countryside and so much more of Germany. They decided to take pictures of Nicholas with them. Today we received dozens of their pictures and they are absolutely stunning: majestic, serene, and reflective.
And several of the pictures are a picture-in-a-picture as they held up a picture of Nicholas in front of a live scene in Germany behind Nicholas' picture. They then took a picture creating new pictures. One is now Nicholas and a rainbow in Germany…and Nicholas in front of majestic mountains in another. Remember, Nicholas loved to paint rainbows and said he was the king…so these pictures brought smiles to our faces.
Not only is Nicholas with the King, God, he was playing the king in Germany. Thank you for the new memories and reflections of God's love, Nicholas' love, and love begetting love.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
(no journal written)
Saturday, June 2, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Friday, June 1, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
A VIEW OF LOVE
Last night's journal (Wednesday) talked about a phrase-"I need to tell you something"-that changed every aspect of our lives and our view within the world. Thankfully, our view of God and His love seemingly became even stronger in our lives. This enabled Nicholas to live in ways he would not have been able to…and live now in ways that help us to be stronger today amidst daily-routine living that could make living excruciatingly hard.
Today I received a tiny book. The title is simple and most of you have read about the title or heard about the title's meaning. The title is-Footprints, by Margaret Fishback Powers-and talks about "footprints" along the pathway of life. Remember, it starts out by saying:
"One night I dreamed a dream, I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord…"
The meaning continued by saying that when the person looked back over his/her life, that person realized that at the lowest and saddest times of their life there was only one set of footprints. Remember, the thinking was that God was not there during those bad times and the meaning concludes by saying:
"My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you."
Back to last night's journal (Wednesday). The book I received today was given to me by a friend who had not yet read today's journal and she marked one of the inspirational messages. Following is that message that lovingly has a connection about "fear" that we talked about in last night's journal:
"If the Lord be with us, we have no cause of fear. His eye is upon us. His arm over us. His ear open to our prayer-His grace sufficient. His promise unchangeable." By John Newton.
UPCOMING EVENTS/EXPERIENCES
Following are the upcoming Nicholas Colby Fund events/experiences for patients and their families from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, The University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital, and Children's Hospital Oakland:
June 7, 2007
Luxury Suite at Oracle Arena
Elmo, The Count, Cookie Monster, Big Bird, Bert & Ernie and all their funny and furry friends are taking to the stage to share the magical world of music with children. It will be an opportunity for them to count along with The Count, visit Elmo's World and do the Crumb-A-Rumba with Rosita-all this, and much more at Sesame Street Live's "Elmo Makes Music."
June 10, 2007
Luxury Suite at Oracle Arena
Sesame Street Live's "Elmo Makes Music
June 15, 2007
Luxury Suite at Oracle Arena
Ball4Real Streetball Tour (basketball). 30-city tour that features top stars made famous on ESPN's "Streetball," the best streetball basketball players in the world
The sizzling one-on-one face-offs. The crazy dunks. And much more will be brought to them by the masterminds and basketball talent behind the previous years' AND 1 Mixtape Tour. Players include AO, Main Event, Spyda, 50, 1/2 Man 1/2 Amazing, Shane the Dribbling Machine, Circus, Special FX, I'll Be Right Back, Killa Kirby, High Octane, Pharmacist, Coach Steve Burtt and Mr. 720 (formerly Air Up There), who performed the first-ever 720 degree dunk during a game in Houston last season!
HELPING US TOWARD "HELPING CHILDREN TO BE CHILDREN"
We, like many families, are so grateful to CaringBridge. And we thank you for your continued support of the Nicholas Colby Fund. We have received many requests from people asking about the ability for them to make regular, automatic donations. That ability and so much more information about (and for) the children we help (along with seeing the smiles the Nicholas Colby Fund helps to generate) will be part of our Nicholas Colby Fund website.
That website, www.nicholascolbyfund.org, should be live by the end of July 2007. In the meantime tax-deductible donations may be made to:
Nicholas Colby Fund
1547 Palos Verdes Mall, PMB 260
Walnut Creek, CA 94597-2228
Thursday, May 31, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
"I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING" (words that brought fear)
On that November 19, 2004 night when the leukemia diagnosis was made we seemingly froze in time and chose to hold each other close, tight. And then it was Nicholas saying, "Don't worry about me, I'll be alright" that actually radiated warmth beyond our hearts and into our souls. We had always trusted God and that night (and today) our trust keeps our hearts and souls warm…amidst the coldness that seems to try to take hold of our lives.
We realize that as our trust in God is high, the level of coldness/fear becomes lower. Remember, music, songs, praying, crying, loving, etc. have always been part of our lives. And to this point we realize that it seems like God is our composer and Nicholas is the music in our lives enabling our hearts and souls to beat as one: one with Nicholas and one with God for love to beget love. We remember that God's work is perfect and pure…so we pray and trust Him for evermore.
Oh, back to the words, "I need to tell you something." Those were the words we heard on two occasions during the leukemia journey:
- Mid December 2004, about one month after the diagnosis, when the diagnosis then included Hypodiploid meaning the leukemia was classified as Very High Risk. This was the reason for the bone marrow transplant
- September 2005 when a routine follow up appointment after the April 2005 transplant resulted in hearing those words again ("I need to tell you something") and then hearing that there was a relapse: the leukemia was back
And back to God, for us "I need to tell you something" can be bitter to hear so we think of love…and we think of God's voice telling us "I need to tell you something!" What God tells us, what Nicholas shares with us, is not fear. We hear and feel love. We trust God, His love…and trust Nicholas is "playing and having fun" not just hearing and feeling love but "seeing" and "enjoying" love.
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCES PICK BACK UP
You may have noticed that the Nicholas Colby Fund experiences for the children's hospitals took a break in May. With exceptions to the Nicholas Colby Fund nutritional packs that are always immediately available on-hand and provided to parents or guardians of a child having to go into the pediatric intensive care unit at Children's Hospital Oakland, the events/experiences provided eased up in May as we focused even more on Nicholas. And that focus along with the focus & love from many of you culminated into the 1-year Heaven anniversary informal gathering, dinner, and so much more that you shared. (Please refer to the May 25, 2007 journal entry under Journal History)
Following is a snapshot of the first June 2007 experiences for patients/families from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, The University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital, and Children's Hospital Oakland (details tomorrow night):
June 7, 2007: Sesame Street Live - Elmo Makes Music
June 10, 2007: Sesame Street Live - Elmo Makes Music
June 15, 2007: Ball4Real Streetball Tour (basketball). 30-city tour that features top stars made famous on ESPN's "Streetball," the best streetball basketball players in the world
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Tuesday, May 29, 2007 10:46 PM CDT
NUTRITIONAL PACKS FOR CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL OAKLAND
Over the last 12 months on these journals we often started some portions with the line, "Do you remember…?" We thank God that these questions/rhetorical questions resonate from a source of love, peace, and joy…along with sadness. Sadness and elements of grieving & depression, thankfully, are overshadowed by the light from God and Nicholas' illuminating, vibrant touch & spirit this has always been felt.
So here again, do you remember the nutritional packs the Nicholas Colby Fund provides to the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) at Children's Hospital Oakland (CHO)? Since January 20, 2007 we have prepared these packs that contain juice, granola bar, applesauce, and a Nicholas Colby Fund note of love. These packs are immediately available to parents (or guardians) of a patient having to go into the PICU and this week we will replenish the supply at CHO.
One PICU social worker said, "The snack packs, by the way, have been a great success and have provided a much needed snack to many of our families. As you know, many of our patients come to the ICU unexpectedly. These snack bags really help to keep our families nourished until their child becomes more stable, and they can allow themselves to pull away from the bedside."
NOTES:
- Thank you Diablo Foods of Lafayette for providing the granola bars and applesauce (to go along with a container of juice in each bag). And thank you Admac Digital Imaging of Emeryville for providing the Nicholas Colby Fund labels for the bags.
- To see what the packs look like please go to the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album-just copy and paste the following address into your web browser and look at the 5/29/07 pictures:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
NICHOLAS
Nicholas, we all remember you and know that you are never gone, never far. And with every action of caring, sharing, and loving…we do it with you.
Monday, May 28, 2007
(no journal written)
Sunday, May 27, 2007
(no journal written)
Saturday, May 26, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Friday, May 25, 2007 11:29 PM CDT
TODAY-NICHOLAS' 1-YEAR HEAVEN ANNIVERSARY
First, thank you all so much for your telephone messages, cards/letters, guestbook entries, flowers, and special things that you knew Nicholas likes. Nicholas must be smiling and feeling the amazing love flowing with the mention of his name and connection we all share!
- THE INFORMAL GATHERING at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site: It was really heart-warming to hear, feel, see, and certainly sense love begetting love all day long. Our boys, Sheila, and I were greeted with a sense of awe when we arrived. The flowers, balloons (of course some of SpiderMan), people (family and friends), and special things were…well blessings that warmed our hearts and souls.
- THE NEXT PLACE, book by Warren Hanson: We talked about Nicholas' amazing love and spirit that absolutely lives on today. We talked about Nicholas saying that he wanted to have super powers, be really strong, stretch real far, and to fly. We then read excerpts from the book, The Next Place, that are on the back of the upright marker at his Oakmont Memorial Park site.
Remember, Nicholas' doctor, Dr. Gore, in Denver gave it to us the night before Nicholas transcended to Heaven. And do you remember Nicholas' teacher, Ms. Shirley, read the book to Nicholas as many of you who were at Nicholas' side moments before he left us in body? Following are those excerpts that are permanently at Nicholas' site and in our hearts and souls lovingly remembering Nicholas' connection with these words long before we received this book:
"I'll glide beyond the rainbows. I'll drift above the sky. I'll fly into the wonder, without ever wondering why.
I'll never be alone; I'll be embraced by all the family and friends I've ever known. Although I might not see their faces, all our hearts will beat as one. And the circle of our spirits will shine brighter than the sun.
I'll have the love of those who loved me, and the warmth of those who cared…the happiness and memories and magic that we shared. I will cherish all the friendships I was fortunate to find, all the love and all the laughter in the place I leave behind. All these good things will go with me; they will make my spirit glow. And the light will shine forever in the next place that I go."
- WE REMEMBER NICHOLAS: After sharing memories of love as well as laughter we all quietly listened to what was around us and what the gentle wind was creating…what was soaring about…and landing onto our hearts. The wind chime was ever chiming poignantly with the breeze as we heard birds chirping, saw a hawk soaring, a plane humming, the sound of crickets, a cow in the distance mooing, little kids feet "pittering" and "pattering," and seemingly all of our hearts beating as one. We suspect Nicholas was touching our hearts a little more than ever. One of the kids said, "I heard Nicholas' voice!"
Thinking about a poem Sheila and I experienced at a grieving camp (Camp Okizu), I shared the first lines of the poem and in harmony everyone followed each of those lines by saying, "We remember Nicholas!" Here is the poem and the lines:
"In the rising of the sun and its going down,
We remember Nicholas.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
We remember Nicholas.
In the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring,
We remember Nicholas.
In the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of the summer,
We remember Nicholas.
In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We remember Nicholas.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We remember Nicholas.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember Nicholas.
When we have joys and special celebrations we yearn to share,
We remember Nicholas.
So long as we live, they too shall live, for (Nicholas is) part of us.
As we remember Nicholas"
- EVENING GATHERING at Fuddruckers restaurant where Nicholas had friends and family enjoy his 6th birthday with him: Simply stated, engaging with new and long-term friends (we met along the leukemia journey, from Nicholas' school, from work and home, as well as family) was very, very nice. Thank you!
ONE MORE DAY
The song, "One More Day," by Diamond Rio like most songs can provide many meanings. During Nicholas' physical journey here on earth, Sheila and I listened to the words, and even now we view the essence as beautiful heartfelt expressions of wanting to always hold love close. However, the reality for us was that if that "One More Day" meant our little guy would have had to suffer, we would unselfishly give it up and take May 25, 2006 as our "One More Day" as hard as it was.
May 25, 2006 was the "One More Day" for us. God lovingly enabled us, and many of you, to fully be with Nicholas-every moment…every breath. It was with piercingly deep, mixed emotions. But just as the song says in one of the verses…that we would unplug the phone, keep the TV off, and just hold you every second and say a million I Love You's. That is exactly what our "One More Day" was like-just like the song-it is so ironic. We never really understood the links to life the words to the song expressed until after our "One More Day" had been granted.
And we think about one of Nicholas' favorite songs, "I Believe I Can Fly" by R Kelly and his response to "What are things you want?" question asked of Nicholas on April 19, 2006. Yesterday's journal included those questions and Nicholas' responses. Do you remember what Nicholas said when asked, "What are the things that you want?" One of the things he said was, "To fly!" Nicholas, son, you are wonderfully flying and full of love. And in God's speed we see and feel each other until in God's speed we are with each other in every way we long to be.
PHOTOS: Please click on View Photos where 2 of the 3 pictures are from today. And see several pictures from today via the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album-just copy and paste the following address into your web browser:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
________________________________________
Thursday, May 24, 2007 10:24 PM CDT
NICHOLAS' 1-YEAR HEAVEN ANNIVERSARY, MAY 25, 2007
***Excerpt From The June 19, 2006 Journal About June 2, 2006***
REFLECTION
During the Memorial Service and Celebration of Life, we used a "shooting star" (not falling star) analogy asking what do many of us say when a shooting star is seen? The common answer…see it again! Keeping with this analogy, we will see Nicholas again! Nicholas lives in our hearts in so many different ways for most, if not, all of us. Why, because of all your beautiful thoughts and prayers and "because you livvve son, my world has twice as many stars in the sky."
We then shared Nicholas' responses to questions asked him on April 19, 2006 by a Stanford-LPCH social worker that had been very engaged with Nicholas and Sheila & me since March 31, 2005. The responses were generated by an open, free-flowing conversation that we were aware of. Following are some of the questions along with Nicholas' responses:
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?
-Playing with my toys
-Drawing and painting pictures
-Writing, board games, and card games
-Playing with friends
-Easter egg hunts
WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
-I do not get sad much
WHAT ARE THE THINGS THAT YOU WANT?
-Go to Disneyland and the Monterey Bay Aquarium again
-When things hurt, for mom & dad to fix it
-I like it when mom rocks me
-I like it when dad hugs me when I do not feel good
-Super powers: being fire, really strong, stretch real far
-To fly
Well, Nicholas is flying with amazing powers at God's side, in God's hands, and in God-speed… We realize these truths AND we miss Nicholas' physical presence so much.
***End of excerpt from June 19, 2006***
***
Joyfully painting rainbows. Our precious son. Sweet, loving Nicholas. These are the captions of the three pictures currently seen if you click on "View Photos" either by clicking on the camera icon below (on the Home Page) or the View Photos button above.
***
NICHOLAS' 1-YEAR HEAVEN ANNIVERSARY
We have been asked what will we be doing tomorrow (Friday) for Nicholas' 1-year anniversary in Heaven. Following are the plans:
"L"unch at Nicholas' favorite Japanese restaurant: Blue Ginko (Lafayette)
"O"ut to the movie theatre to see one of Nicholas' favorite characters: SpiderMan 3
"V"isit Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site in Lafayette with an informal 6-7:00 PM gathering
"E"vening gathering where Nicholas enjoyed his 6th birthday: Fuddruckers restaurant (Walnut Creek)
"N"ever stop kneeling down to pray
"I"magine and feel the joy that nothing can ever take away
"C"are about those around us while praying for caring thoughts to help us
"H"ave joy in our hearts and souls
"O"ccasionaly be very, very sad
"L"ament, however, know that God will find a way for us to get through the day
"A"cclimate to the day trusting God's love to be loving Nicholas
"S"ee and experience love around us knowing Nicholas is never gone, never far
THESE JOURNALS ARE NOT JUST WORDS
Providing excerpts of songs, sharing thoughts of our prayers, talking about how we care for Nicholas as much today as always is just our loving way to express the amazing gift, Nicholas, that God brought and keeps in our lives!
________________________________________
Wednesday, May 23, 2007 11:01 PM CDT
***Above VIEW PHOTOS button or the camera icon below***
Joyfully painting rainbows. Our precious son. Sweet, loving Nicholas. These are the captions of the three pictures currently seen if you click on View Photos.
THIS FRIDAY
We have been asked what will we be doing this Friday for Nicholas' 1-year anniversary in Heaven. Following are the plans:
"L"unch at Nicholas' favorite Japanese restaurant: Blue Ginko (Lafayette)
"O"ut to the movie theatre to see one of Nicholas' favorite characters: SpiderMan 3
"V"isit Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site in Lafayette with an informal 6-7:00 PM gathering
"E"vening gathering where Nicholas enjoyed his 6th birthday: Fuddruckers restaurant (Walnut Creek)
"N"ever stop kneeling down to pray
"I"magine and feel the joy that nothing can ever take away
"C"are about those around us while praying for caring thoughts to help us
"H"ave joy in our hearts and souls
"O"ccasionaly be very, very sad
"L"ament, however, know that God will find a way for us to get through the day
"A"cclimate to the day trusting God's love to be loving Nicholas
"S"ee and experience love around us knowing Nicholas is never gone, never far
THESE JOURNALS ARE NOT JUST WORDS
Providing excerpts of songs, sharing thoughts of our prayers, talking about how we care for Nicholas as much today as always is just our loving way to express the amazing gift, Nicholas, that God brought and keeps in our lives!
________________________________________
Tuesday, May 22, 2007 11:30 PM CDT
REMEMBER NICHOLAS AND RAINBOWS (along with his rainbow paintings and pots of gold)
***Please click on VIEW PHOTOS to see Nicholas painting one of his rainbows***
***Above VIEW PHOTOS button or the camera icon below***
Referring to yesterday's journal, below is an excerpt of another song given to us by the nurse practitioner from The Children's Hospital-Denver. The album has amazing connections to Nicholas that she did not know…perhaps again it is just love begetting love and further realization of Love's omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence.
Somewhere Over The Rainbow (sung by Nicole Henry as an up tempo samba )
Someday I wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, oh way above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There's a land that I heard of, once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue.
Where the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.
Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.
If the birds fly over the rainbow, why oh why can't I.
COINCIDENTAL AND/OR LOVING SURPRISE ON MY WAY HOME FROM WORK
As I was descending underground in San Francisco on an escalator to BART (train), something caught my eye and I looked up. It was a red heart-shaped balloon ascending upinto the sky. Do you remember the red balloon we released this year on January 27 in recognition of Nicholas' 7th birthday?
Pictures of the birthday balloon and a story through pictures can be seen on the Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 photo album by copying and pasting this link:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Monday, May 21, 2007 11:24 PM CDT
THE NEARNESS OF GOD, THE NEARNESS OF NICHOLAS, THE NEARNESS OF FAMILY & FRIENDS
By now I am sure you know that we generally approach the world and life in a positive way-we always have and with every roller-coaster turn and swirl during Nicholas' leukemia journey there was no exception. Do you remember? Loving and trusting God enabled everyday, as HARD as they medically were, to be one with focus on love and for us to be there for Nicholas-every moment. Nicholas LIVED everyday and there were countless moments of seeing joy illuminate from Nicholas during the leukemia journey.
As May 25 (Nicholas' one year in Heaven) is near there is no exception to our positive approach to the world and life; however, it HURTS. Thankfully, praying and calling out God's name continues to help. God, songs, prayers, love, togetherness, presence, and so much more were (and are) part of what helped along Nicholas' journey then & now. Following is an excerpt of a song, The Nearness Of You, a nurse practitioner from The Children's Hospital-Denver sent to us:
THE NEARNESS OF YOU (by Nicole Henry)
It's not the pale moon that excites me, that thrills and delights me…oh no
It's just the nearness of you.
It isn't your sweet conversation, that brings this sensation…oh no
It's just the nearness of you.
When you are in my arms, and I feel you so close to me,
All my wildest dreams, come true.
And in those soft lights, to enchant me, if you only grant me the right to hold you ever so tight,
And feel you in the night, the nearness of you.
THE NEARNESS OF FRIENDS CONTINUALLY LEAVING SURPRISES
Remember, Nicholas also loves dolphins. Tonight on our doorstep there was another Willow Tree figurine left for us. Along with the "Remember" figurine there was a blue "Dolphin" Beanie Baby.
- The "Remember" figurine is one of a lady with her head tilted down slightly to the right with her right hand at her shoulder. And her left hand is holding a flower, seemingly a Plumeria (The Plumeria has a warm, loving meaning to us connected with Hawaii)
- The "Dolphin" Beanie Babies note reads:
Swimming in the warm lagoon,
Underneath the summer moon.
My friends and I will zig and zag,
And play a game of water tag!
THE NEARNESS OF NICHOLAS IS EVER SO CLOSE
Tonight, at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site with the sun beaming and the blue sky illuminating, closing our eyes we held Nicholas tight. Wherever we are, we do feel you Nicholas and hold you ever so tight. Your sweetness, Nicholas, delights us with every heartbeat and every reflection on the love you provide in all of our lives (as God delights you).
________________________________________
Sunday, May 20, 2007 10:09 PM CDT
As May 25 approaches, we know that it will be one year that Nicholas has been in Heaven...we trust that in God's speed it is just a moment of endless moments of heavenly joy for Nicholas-playing & having fun...and along with trust we FEEL that Nicholas is smiling, laughing, sharing, caring, playing & having fun, and experiencing everything perfect & pure.
If your computer speakers are on, you can hear Nicholas' song-of-love playing in the background. We sometimes close our eyes and can see, hear, smell, feel, and taste love & happiness from Nicholas...through God...as the song and its words speak of Nicholas.
Today, Sheila and I amazingly experienced harmonious thoughts of our precious son-Nicholas. Although it hurts so, so much physically being without Nicholas, trusting God and sensing Nicholas wonderfully warms our hearts & souls. While we do not know what May 25 will bring to us, we do know the measure of time will be overshadowed by Nicholas' love and God's care for Nicholas as well as us.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Friday, May 18, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
A MESSAGE LEFT FOR US (thank you)
Before, during, and even now after Nicholas' leukemia journey…love massages our hearts and caresses our souls. Our journals along the way often included what Nicholas and we are all thankful for. We have so appreciated our family, friends, and new-found friends being directly and indirectly in our lives then & now. Your messages on this CaringBridge site via the guestbook, email, letters/cards, and other sources amazingly strokes our hearts & souls with love. And we know that we are loved and blessed everyday because of God, because of Nicholas.
Following is a message from an "other" source left for us:
"They say that life is fleeting, I know that this is true.
I left this world so quickly, with (a loving) goodbye to you.
I know how much you miss me, your tears fall ever light.
The pillow where you lay your head, is wet with them at night.
I know your heart is hurting, (thankful no words were left unsaid).
I love you's (not) left unspoken, are (blessings) spinning in your head.
The strength that I have carried, that served to make you whole.
Remains to make you stronger, within your grieving soul.
For you see, while you were weeping on the day I passed away,
At the gravesite near the flowers where my loved ones knelt to pray.
An angel came to see me, She took me by the hand,
She led me to a kingdom in a very distant land.
As I look down from the Heaven, and see you standing there,
Your heart so ever burdened, with more weight than it can bear.
I long to bring you comfort, I long to give you peace.
I long to hold you closely, cause all your tears to cease.
The joy I've found in Heaven, goes far beyond compare.
The love that's so elusive, can be found here everywhere.
The light is softly shining; there's no storm clouds here or rain.
There's no tear drops found in Heaven; there's no suffering, there's no pain.
You needn't be so troubled, stay close to God and pray.
That someday we'll be together, one bright and glorious day.
So (mom & dad) you shouldn't question, my (family) you need not cry,
I've gone to be with Jesus; I really didn't die."
Thursday, May 17, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 11:30 PM CDT
PRAYING TO GOD, WISHING FOR LOVE
The sun rises, the sun sets, there is light by day, and darkness by night. However, we are grateful that God's love continues to provide love in ways that "pats" our hearts, calms our souls, letting us know that Nicholas "just knows…"
Praying to God and trusting His words always provided comfort to Nicholas...and always comforted us as we witnessed Nicholas' trust in God calming his soul. It no longer matters what we see or feel from nature (sun, clouds, rain, etc.) because love has found a way to warm us, light our paths, keep us comforted, and simply allow love to beget love.
And Nicholas' spirit along with love is the guiding light of the Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children.
THE LEUKEMIA & LYMPHOMA SOCIETY
Soon we will share information about the Nicholas Colby Fund partnering with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. It is a natural partnership on several fronts relative to Nicholas' leukemia journey then…and spiritual journey now Helping Children Be Children. As one year in Heaven approaches (May 25), we think back over the last 11 months and the actions that now seemed to have directed us to this partnership:
- Light the Night Walk (remember the pictures on the third album [Day 132 leading to BMT and current pictures] below under Links, and the October 7, 2006 journal?)
- Nicholas' nanny (Kimmy) and others joining the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team-In-Training for the benefit of children and society as a whole through research toward finding cures to cancer, including a new Team-In-Training member who recently signed up to run in Nicholas' memory.
Nicholas' story continues and love continues to beget love!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Monday, May 14, 2007 11:47 PM CDT
YESTERDAYS, TODAY, AND TOMORROWS
Yesterday (Sunday) was, of course, Mother's Day…and everyday is a day we remember Nicholas as well as feel & sense him in amazing ways. Sometimes, even within the space of a moment we feel dual emotions.
- Painfully, physically missing Nicholas.
- Sensing Nicholas' presence thankfully through God and Nicholas' vibrant, loving spirit & touch.
As we continually experience Nicholas never being gone, never being far…we experience blessings amidst the painful, physical emotions. This is our life and all of our "todays" are days loving all four of our boys. Nicholas is forever our son and today-like every day-is never just another day because of Nicholas' spirit and love that finds a way to us as we trust our spirits and love finds ways to him. Remember, through God we just know that love is doing what love does-and that is everything perfect and pure. We trust these facts of God's love and know that we are blessed on two fronts:
- Memories and the constant realization of love begetting love.
- Love soothing our pain, along with acts of love helping children be children through experiences that generate reasons for children to act and experience life more like they were able to (and a little more) before their illnesses.
Thinking about all of our yesterdays, our tomorrows, and facing today (like every day) we think about Nicholas, about parenthood, about friendship, and act in ways that lets love guide the way. For us, it helps us get through the days although some days and/or nights more than others there is a conflict of hurt & pain along with memories & experiences of love. Thank you for your help. And thank you, Nicholas, for YOUR help-we love you, son!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
(no journal written)
Saturday, May 12, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Friday, May 11, 2007 2:30 PM CDT
SURPRISES
Once again, we are not sure who continually provides surprises for us at Nicholas' site and on the guestbook entries; however, thank you.
WHAT NICHOLAS DID SAY!
And this morning we thank that "special someone(s)" for the beautiful guestbook to Sheila from Nicholas. I can hear and feel Nicholas saying that and more to mommy because as Nicholas said on November 2, 2005, "You are the best mom I had my whole life, you make my life wonderful!" And on May 21, 2006 he said, "Mom, you do a good job being a mama-there is no doubt about it!"
________________________________________
Thursday, May 10, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER WEEKEND, ANOTHER MOMENT TO REFLECT AND LOVE…
AND I THINK OF MOM'S AS MOTHER'S DAY APPROACHES
Sheila is sleep, our other boys are living their lives, my mother is very tired, and it is late tonight as I softly think, pray aloud, and cry for peace.
As another day comes to an end…another day begins. As another weekend begins…another couple of days present opportunities to be even closer with family and friends. Sometimes I just sit and think…praying about Nicholas, the boy that changed so much in me. I pray about my son and how much he means to my other sons. I cry as well as smile because my son, Nicholas, means so much to many more than just family and friends.
And his mother, who tirelessly cared for…played with…and fulfilled his life is celebrated once again because Nicholas is the brother our other sons seemed to have dreamed for and is the boy who lived his dreams in only 6 plus years.
As I often said and say today, Nicholas is a dream of a son…and thankfully through God he is forever touching our hearts, our souls, and all aspects of our lives. So as Mother's Day approaches I, along with my sons, wish my wife Sheila a level of peace and love this Mother's Day that will be her first with Nicholas in Heaven. She has an angel that she touched who is touching her every day and night.
I think of the saying, "Some people dream of angels, we have held one!" My son, Nicholas…I love you!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Tuesday, May 8, 2007 11:39 PM CDT
YOUR GUESTBOOK MESSAGES STILL HELP US AND…
While your guestbook messages still help us with continued reflections, we are told by others that they continue to also help them via the "circle of love" that is all of us making up the supporters of Nicholas and supporters of many children faced with life-threatening illnesses.
We have heard the medical staff talk about "the story continues" referring to opportunities to share Nicholas' illuminating sunshine, joy, and passion for caring about others that still touches hearts and lives today. We have heard from parents of a child with a life-threatening illness and parents of children who are not on a "roller coaster" medical journey. We have heard from family, friends, and new friends met along Nicholas journey then & now… We know that we are blessed to have had & have you in Nicholas' life then & now; and we are so grateful for love to beget love through the amazing stories of Nicholas helping all of us to reflect on love.
As May 25, 2007 approaches marking one year that Nicholas has been in Heaven, it is extremely hard to realize the many days, weeks, and months that have gone by. The time has, certainly, not been easy at all because Nicholas has beautifully impacted every aspect of our lives. We say "beautifully" here and have to recognize that it is hard to understand the difficulties along with the beautiful reflections as well. Difficult and beautiful is a conflict and we trust that God's love cannot generate conflicts. Thankfully, the time gone by has not just been bittersweet…it is sweet bitter sweet because the goodness of God and Nicholas individually filled & fill our hearts with love then & now. And together we realize that our lives are filled with love, which is why we continually see love begetting love and the circle of love warmly blessing our lives. Thank you!
Did you see the May 5, 2007 guestbook entry and its picture, under View Guestbook? It was and is a beautiful surprise seeing the angels and dolphins "playing and having fun" (words from Nicholas' song of love playing in the background if your computer speakers are on). We are not sure who the author, Me, is and trust our appreciation is felt.
Monday, May 7, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Sunday, May 6, 2007 10:42 PM CDT
YESTERDAY'S TIME OF REMEMBRANCE DELIVERED A GIFT TO OUR HEARTS
While the Time Of Remembrance at Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital yesterday (Saturday) was expected to be emotional in a sweet-bitter-sweet way, it delivered to us gifts in many ways. There was a poem read, a song sang, another song as background during the display of the children's photos, and other moments that brought tears of sadness and tears of joy…but mostly sadness even though we were and are so thankful for joy that fills even the deep parts of our souls. And Kristen, one of the child life specialists we work with via The Nicholas Colby Fund, spoke during the Remembrance about Nicholas and the memories forever in her heart. She talked about April 19, 2006 when Nicholas came out of his hosptial room to visit with Mickey & Minnie Mouse. She shared what was truly magic in the air...the amazing embrace mutually shared by Nichlolas and Mickey & Minnie Mouse. (Pictures of the embrace are in the 3rd album below under Links...scrolling to April 19, 2006.)
POEM
From The Book, "If I Get To 5," By Dr. Fred Epstein, Read By One Of The Doctors
You may remember that we often talk about how Nicholas truly "LIVED" everyday of the journey. We always focused on God, love, and living as we kept our faith and trust. Everyday, in the face of all the medical ups and downs…the roller coaster medical journey…we would do whatever helped us to help Nicholas be a child. Well, at the Time Of Remembrance yesterday (Saturday) the poem from the book, "If I Get To 5" was warmly a reflection of the loving light Nicholas continues to shine.
The book talks about how young patients have been the doctor's most important teachers and trusted guides. In this inspiring book, Dr. Epstein's patients teach lessons we all need to learn in order to live life to the fullest-lessons about seizing the moment and facing our deepest fears, about holding someone's hand, and about embracing the joy and wonder of everyday life. Most of all, they teach lessons about uncommon courage-the courage to do what's hardest, to believe in what we don't understand, to love without fear and without boundaries.
As further written by the publisher, "If I Get To 5" takes us inside a world unlike any other, from the high-stakes, high-tech OR where life and death are separated by a heartbeat to the sickrooms and recovery rooms where parents discover the limits and power of their faith. Nicholas lived and lives today in inspiring ways because of God's omnipotence and Nicholas continues to teach us things today because he is our forever gift!
SONG
There You'll Be, by Faith Hill, Sung By One Of Nicholas' Nurses-Nurse April
When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life
When I look back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me
In my dreams
I'll always see your soul above the sky in my heart
There will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
Well you showed me how it feels to feel the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me
In my dreams I'll always see your soul above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
'Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength
And I want to thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always
In my dreams I'll always see your soul above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
BACKGROUND SONG
Somewhere Over The Rainbow, From The Movie-50 First Dates
If you heard this song from the movie you will know that it is sung Hawaiian style. And, we are sure you know how much Nicholas enjoys Hawaii. We wrote about this song in the June 23, 2006 journal, under Journal History.
A LITTLE BOY WHO LOST HIS BROTHER…
There was a boy named Ben who we never met, although Sheila communicated with his mother during Nicholas' journey because Ben was on a treatment with a drug that was available to Nicholas. Ben is in Heaven with Nicholas and yesterday at the Remembrance, Ben's little brother (Michael) literally stayed with Sheila every moment during the reception. Within moments he said, "I love you!" In fact, at one point he said out loud that he wanted Sheila to just talk with him as he wanted her full attention as they played together. Michael helped Sheila decorate a kite we made in honor of Nicholas. On the kite we wrote: Nicholas Colby Gilbert…In our hearts & souls forever; and Michael put two flowers on it.
DINNER
After the Remembrance we left and had dinner at PF Changs, the same restaurant we took Nicholas to the evening we were checking into Stanford-LPCH for the bone marrow transplant. We know it is just a name, however, it felt so nice to see a menu item called, Nico. We ordered it.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Friday, May 4, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
TIME OF REMEMBRANCE
Referring to the April 20, 2007 journal, tomorrow (Saturday) we will participate in the Time of Remembrance at Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital. Nicholas and many of us have experienced "time" and "times" that was/were/are so challenging beyond what we would ever remotely expect to face. Nicholas and too many of "all of these beautiful children" faced/face these times with amazing love and trust of their families, friends, and as we lovingly experienced-God.
Trust seemed/seems so hard (and it was); however, we experienced blessings enabling Nicholas to live in ways that "patted/pat" his and our hearts & souls. "Patting" Nicholas was very pleasing to him (remember) so we trust now that our Father, God, is patting us in ways helping us to live. And God is patting Nicholas in ways more than satisfying his desires! Remember the words we sang, "Because you live, son, my world has twice as many stars in the sky."? (June 10, 2006 journal and July 17, 2005)
Everyday is a blessing knowing God, knowing Nicholas and remembering the blessings we experienced and experience loving Nicholas…and being loved by Nicholas & God. Nicholas lives in spirit that is not limiting at all...he lives in spirit that is touching and patting lives beyond our grandest imaginations. As we have said, "Our angel Nicholas… we don't have to see you to know you are here."
Thursday, May 3, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Wednesday, May 2, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
THE SPIRIT OF A CHILD
This evening at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site we were greeted by more surprises. These surprises were connected to three things Nicholas enjoyed: The Golden State Warriors, SpiderMan, and being strong.
- A very unique Golden State Warriors luggage tag. The front had an outline of California and the Warriors logo. The back had a place for a person's name and address. What someone wrote was "Nicholas Colby Gilbert" and for the address-"Heaven."
- A SpiderMan sheet to create a mask
- An action figure of a "strong" man
These three things, just like the three words (I love you) are typical things that help a child to smile. We thank all of you who directly and indirectly help Nicholas to smile, help us to smile, and through your donations help us toward Helping Children Be Children enabling The Nicholas Colby Fund to help them smile.
Back to the spirit of a child, please CLICK ON VIEW PHOTOS (tab at the top of the page or the camera icon just below this journal entry) to see three different pictures: an infusion of love, joy that none can take away, and a spirit illuminating love.
Note: On May 24, 2007 the journal will contain a message from Nicholas about what makes him happy, what makes him sad, and what are the things that he wants. You can read about these things in the June 19, 2006 journal entry.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Monday, April 30, 2007 10:37 PM CDT
MAY 2007
As May 25 approaches we are not quite sure what do expect with Nicholas being in Heaven for almost one year now. We have experienced that the days, weeks, and months do not get any easier. We have experienced many types of changes emotionally as well as physically. And we are not alone having a child pass onto Heaven; however, so many times of the day or night it feels like we are alone with our emotions and physical impact of missing Nicholas.
We regularly prayed with Nicholas focusing on God's omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience. Nicholas received comfort as we held him, patted him, prayed, sang, and talked about God's love…even when it felt like we were not experiencing that love. We came to always know that God was right there with us. We came to know that through God that whether or not we see each other we will always "just know" that we are in each other's hearts and souls. Nicholas, you are not away from us. Remember, we know that our shared love will always be felt-we just know that and trust and believe God is making this, too, true for you.
Previously we wrote about our prayers and talks with Nicholas that…"while life sometimes seems to have no reason or rhyme to how things unfold, when we spiritually look at life here on earth we just know that your loving touch-through the many ways your spirit embraced our hearts and souls-was not by chance. Your love, Nicholas, was and is a gift that guides us to love. And it guides our forever-memories to love in our life. You, son! You continually light up our world and your spirit illuminates our path even closer to God. You brothers are blessed because of you and love you so, so much. And son, the purity and perfection of God's arms around you must feel so, so good. You, son, are so amazing. We are sure God is more than pleased…and He is more than pleasing you."
THANKFULLY LOVE REMAINS IN WAYS THAT WILL NOT CHANGE
Please click on View Photos to see three pictures that tell a story (tab at the top of the page or the camera icon just below this journal entry). It is a story of how the joy from God touches our hearts, and our souls come alive to shine forever more in gentle loving ways…the look of love… and everyday Nicholas' amazing love caressing our lives and warming our hearts.
APRIL 2007 NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCES
- April 9, 2007: Golden State Warriors basketball game for patients from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital who filled the suite
- April 15, 2007: San Francisco Ballet for a patient (and her family) from The University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital
- April 15, 2007: Golden State Warriors basketball game and a meet & greet experience with star player Baron Davis, for a patient from Children's Hospital Oakland/UCSF Children's Hospital
- April 17, 2007: Golden State Warriors basketball game for Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital
- Continually, the "nutritional packs" are immediately available on site for every parent of a child going into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Children's Hospital Oakland
Pictures for April are on the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
Sunday, April 29, 2007
(no journal written)
Saturday, April 28, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
DAY AND NIGHT
This morning at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site it was beautifully warm and calm. The sounds from a soothingly quite morning were harmonious…and as a ladybug flew onto the site we thought about Nicholas even more. There are lots of memories we have of Nicholas being so inquisitive and gentle with nature as well as people. PLEASE CLICK ON VIEW PHOTOS (tab at the top of this Home Page or the camera icon below) to see three pictures. The first one is Nicholas and Sheila looking at ladybugs on the patio at Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (LPCH) almost one month after the bone marrow transplant.
This evening Sheila went to LPCH to help out a mother and a child we met along the way. Many of you know the child, it is Camilia, who Nicholas played with at LPCH and is the beautiful child The Nicholas Colby Fun - Helping Children Be Children sent to Disneyland this past Holiday Season. You can see Camilia in The Nicholas Colby Fund, Christmas 2006 photo album. Just copy and paste the following into your web browser:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
(Remember links to all of The Nicholas Colby Fund albums are above on the Home Page; and links to all of the other albums about Nicholas' life and journey are on the albums below on the Home Page, under Links).
RELATIONSHIPS, CONNECTIONS, TOUCHES OF LOVE…
Guess who is Camilia's nurse tonight? It is Colleen who is one of the many nurses that several of you have directly and or indirectly met along the way…as they have been present on the guestbook entries and present in our lives in a myriad of ways during Nicholas journey "then and now." Yes, we have received several telephone calls about the Golden State Warriors in the NBA playoffs. We have heard what many have felt…that Nicholas is that little something extra helping the Warriors.
So why did we mention Colleen tonight when we could have mentioned anyone of all the wonderful nurses and doctors that are still part of our lives? Well, because of the notion of relationships, connections, and touches of love. Specifically, because her brother is Bob Fitzgerald who is a play-by-play announcer on the Warriors' television broadcast crew as well as other broadcast roles for the Warriors on the radio. On January 20, 2006 we were at a Warriors game and Nicholas helped Tim Roye (of the radio broadcast crew) interview the star of the game. Remember, we wrote about it in the January 20, 2006 journal, under the Journal History tab? Before that game we were on the floor watching the Warriors warm up and Bob Fitzgerald walked over to us and said, "You must be Nicholas…" PLEASE CLICK ON VIEW PHOTOS and see the second picture.
Well, back to the point…with so many wonderful relationships, connections, and touches of love…Nicholas is part of all the joy and wonderful moments of excitement and happiness coming the Warriors way. And Nicholas is one along with so many amazing children who share love in the ways that they do. Whether they are near or far, they touch our hearts and souls.
So we feel it too…Nicholas is part of the Warriors and is that little extra glow many longtime and new fans are coming to know and enjoy. Yes Colleen, Joey, Charles, Kimmy, Steve…, we feel it too. Win or lose the glow will get brighter and brighter creating many more wonderful moments for the Warriors, for the fans, for children, and for all of those who simply open up more and let joy come in. If only for a moment, for one more game, love & fun will grow. We LOVE YOU, son!
Friday, April 27, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Thursday, April 26, 2007 11:41 PM CDT
ANOTHER HEART, ANOTHER MOMENT, ANOTHER SHARED STORY OF LOVE
For those of you that knew Nicholas and have become to know Nicholas, you know that he has a heart of gold and a golden touch. You also know, like many children and adults, he loved collecting rocks…especially heart-shaped rocks. Once again, we were greeted by a beautiful surprise at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site. This time a 1-inch tall heart shaped rock-thank you!
Another month (25th day) has passed and next month (May 25th) it will be one year that Nicholas has been in Heaven. We have become to better understand life's facets of living as well as "passing" although it is still so hard to get through each day. As Nicholas' friend, Hana, wrote, "I wonder why…", is always on our minds (November 11, 2005 journal under Journal History).
Many things stated by people about a loved one in Heaven provide words/expressions that are lovingly comforting. But we miss Nicholas physically so much. And we are blessed that there is an "and"…and every moment of every day, week, month, and beyond one year, two years, three years, and forever more Nicholas blesses our lives because Nicholas truly is embodied in love that is everlasting.
As sunrises provide hope, sunsets deliver peace. With God's love, Nicholas truly is never gone, never far…being so much more than just in our hearts & souls. We are so comforted knowing Nicholas loved God, trusting God enabling Nicholas to be "playing and having fun" with Jesus, and that Nicholas is with us as we are with him. Remember, Nicholas and we, "just know…"
The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children is love doing what love does and because of Nicholas, love reaches, touches, and warms our lives and the lives of so many more with each reflection of his smile, twinkle from his eyes forever remembered, and the telling of his story entrenched in God.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Tuesday, April 24, 2007 11:47 PM CDT
11 MONTHS IN HEAVEN
Tomorrow (Wednesday) it will be 11 months that Nicholas has been in Heaven. Since Nicholas has been in Heaven, we continually say that our son, brother, cousin, companion (as Nicholas' teacher would say), friend, and angel is never gone, never far. Once again we trust God's love to unquestionably do what God said He would do-love. And with love, we just know…
The memories and new experiences continue to build beautiful connections with Nicholas. And it is a beautiful, warm feeling hearing about or reading guestbook entries (on this website) about Nicholas and the Golden State Warriors.
We said it before and saying it again or experiencing it again feels nice. We are referring to listening to the songs that make up the Video Tribute played during the Memorial Service ALONG WITH those sang during the Memorial Service and Celebration of Life. The titles alone provide a warm, loving, inspirational message: Nicholas' Song of Love…If I Can Help Somebody…Held…For Good…Step In The Name Of Love…You'll Be In My Heart…Beautiful Soul…Beautiful…Never Gone…Old Friends…Joy…Count It All Joy.
(All the songs are accessible via www.nicolascolbyfund.org, clicking on Sound Tracks, and clicking on the song you want to hear.)
Memories and things said before come back to us now. Things like it is still not easier, getting through each day and night, although it continues to become different each day and night. Becoming "different" is not bad but it is not great either. This is hard for us to understand and certainly hard to explain. However, we do trust and love God knowing He will "make a way" for us and trust He is making a beautiful, loving way for Nicholas even today.
God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for me.
He will be my guide,
Hold me close to His side.
With love and strength for each new day,
He will make a way.
As Nicholas' 11th month in Heaven arrives, what continues to comes into view…what we see…what we focus on…and what we trust and believe God to bring to us…is further knowing that Nicholas is amazingly loved. That Nicholas is full of light. As each day since Nicholas has passed our lives have been empty AND at the same time so full of colorful, angelic, and sweet everything because Nicholas is sweet everything.
Monday, April 23, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Sunday, April 22, 2007 11:30 PM CDT
TODAY'S REMEMBRANCE
Referring to Friday night's journal about "A Time Of Remembrance" held and to be held at the three hospitals, today was a time of remembrance as well as connections with the Children's Hospital Oakland staff and a family met in September 2006 (at Camp Okizu's bereavement camp) and families met today.
Following is a snapshot of some of the experiences:
ENTERING to the melodies of a harp.
CREATION of a memory box by Sheila and me (Yes, we used a treasure chest-type box because you know that Nicholas loves treasures.) Other supplies available for families to use were raised-stickers of shapes and adhesive-back words as well as letters.
- Sheila designed the memory box creating the words: "Never Gone Never Far In Our" (applied a raised-heart sticker) and then the word "Forever" along stamping an ivy border on the sides.
- Using the same supplies I created a simple, heartfelt and soul filling message: Sunshine (raised sticker) "You Are My Sunshine," "Beautiful," N I C H O L A S, Star (raised sticker), Heart (raised sticker).
WE REMEMBER THEM (Poem)
In the rising of the sun and its going down,
We remember them.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
We remember them.
In the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring,
We remember them.
In the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of the summer,
We remember them.
In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We remember them.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember them.
When we have joys and special celebrations we yearn to share,
We remember them.
So long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are part of us.
READING of names followed by the chime of a bell.
SHARING of memories that began with a presentation by one of the doctors about Nicholas and his amazing spirit then and now.
HARPIST playing another song-about the ocean and how waves come & go although the ocean remains the same.
A YEAR AGO THIS MONTH: PLEASE CLICK ON THE VIEW PHOTOS TAB AT THE TOP OF THE HOME PAGE OR ON THE CAMERA ICON BELOW TO SEE…
- A year ago this month, and everyday Nicholas' amazing love caresses our lives
- A year ago this month...and the joy that illuminated from Nicholas warms our hearts everyday
- A year ago this month, Nicholas was a child at play in spite of the leukemia journey...and today he is helping us Helping Children Be Children
Saturday, April 21, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Friday, April 20, 2007 11:09 PM CDT
REMEBRANCES
The three hospitals that treated Nicholas held and are holding "A Time Of Remembrance" to remember the children who have passed.
THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL-DENVER: Last Sunday a remembrance was held at The Children's Hospital-Denver. Although we did not make it to Denver, pictures of Nicholas were part of the video presentation. And following is a writing from their program with words that echo our love for Nicholas:
To Honor You (by Connie Kiefer Boyd)
To honor you, I get up everyday and take a breath,
And start another day with out you in it.
To honor you, I laugh and love with those who knew your smile and the way your eyes twinkled with mischief and secret knowledge.
To honor you, I take the time to appreciate everyone I love.
I know there is no guarantee of days or hours spent in their presence.
To honor you, I listen to music you would have liked, and sing at the top of my lungs, with the windows rolled down.
To honor you, I take chances, say what I feel, hold nothing back, risk making a fool of myself, dance every dance.
You were my light, my heart, my gift of love, from the very highest source.
So everyday, I vow to make a difference, share a smile, live, laugh, and love.
Now I live for us both, so all I do, I do to honor you.
CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL OAKLAND: This coming Sunday, Children's Hospital Oakland will hold their remembrance and we will be there…remembering, loving, and never letting go of a life that lives on through the touch Nicholas has left virtually everywhere…and through The Nicholas Colby Fund. Photos of Nicholas will also be part of their video presentation.
STANFORD-LUCILE PACKARD CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL: On Saturday, May 5, "A Time Of Remembrance" will be held for Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (LPCH). We will be there with Nicholas at our side, while God holds us all up high to remember his and His love that is always and forever our guide. Pictures in their video presentation as well.
SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT NICHOLAS
Do you remember how we have learned from staff at LPCH about how "the story continues…"? This refers to conversational opportunities that surface through situations like when a patient or their parent(s) asks a staff member about the puzzle piece in their plastic-name-badge holder. When asked, Nicholas' story continues as the staff member tells one of the many stories about Nicholas. (Remember, as the Video Tribute was concluding the Memorial Service on June 2, 2006, the last picture was a profile of Nicholas, the one seen on the back of the "program.". Nicholas was always asking, "Do you want a piece of me?" In Nicholas' way at the Memorial Service, he was saying, "You will always have a piece of me…" To that end, everyone leaving the Memorial Service received a puzzle piece of Nicholas-from a puzzle made with the profile image.)
Well, we just learned yesterday from the hospital that Nicholas' story would continue in another unique way. One staff member who will soon have a newborn son has decided to name the child-Nicholas-in honor of Nicholas.
A YEAR AGO THIS MONTH: PLEASE CLICK ON THE VIEW PHOTOS TAB AT THE TOP OF THE HOME PAGE OR ON THE CAMERA ICON BELOW TO SEE…
- A year ago this month, and everyday Nicholas' amazing love caresses our lives
- A year ago this month...and the joy that illuminated from Nicholas warms our hearts everyday
- A year ago this month, Nicholas was a child at play in spite of the leukemia journey...and today he is helping us Helping Children Be Children
Thursday, April 19, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Wednesday, April 18, 2007 11:58 PM CDT
REMEMBERING NICHOLAS: THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS AND NICHOLAS HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN
Remember, this past Sunday The Nicholas Colby Fund hosted a patient at a Warriors' basketball game (one of many Warriors' games as well as other experiences for children since Nicholas passed onto Heaven). The Warriors, once again, helped us uplift the spirit of children. Please copy and paste the following Golden State Warriors link into your browser and see how they helped us on April 15. After you access the link you can "click" where they indicate to see pictures and captions about The Nicholas Colby Fund.
http://www.nba.com/warriors/community/home.html
TODAY WAS ANOTHER BIRTHDAY FOR ONE OF NICHOLAS' BROTHERS, AND TOMORROW IS ONE MORE
April 14 was Nicholas' oldest brothers' birthday (Chris); today was Tim's birthday; and tomorrow, April 19, is Matt's birthday. Remember, Nicholas loved to do things for others as well as sing. We could hear him singing Happy Birthday…and feel his amazing rays of sunshine warming our hearts and souls. There are constant occasions to celebrate throughout the days, weeks, and months, and Nicholas is there helping us to do just that as his story continues…even though the days, weeks, and months are "sweetbittersweet" as we have come to say focusing on God's love and Nicholas' amazing love.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Monday, April 16, 2007 9:49 PM CDT
CIRCLE OF LOVE DOING WHAT LOVES DOES-THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU
Remembering Nicholas loved to collect rocks and especially enjoyed finding rocks shaped like rock, someone left a big surprise for all of us. This past weekend someone left an approximately 15-inch high by 12-inch wide heart-shaped rock at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site. (Please see the Home Page picture above.)
It was another beautiful surprise, another moment that will provide lasting moments of joy. As 11 months since Nicholas has been in Heaven approaches, we are blessed to continually feel and see Nicholas' love in many ways that he has left for us, he delivers to us, and YOU help us to experience-THANK YOU ALL!
We thank God for Nicholas, his legacy The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children enabling Nicholas to continue his love for people and another way Nicholas continually enables us to hold him close…and pat him just the way he likes. And it is that circle of love, again, doing what loves does. All of you, directly and indirectly, are part of the circle of love that helps Nicholas and The Nicholas Colby Fund brightly shine in the eyes of kids near and far…kids of all ages including parents, guardians, care takers at home and in the hospitals, as well as so many people who simply shows up in the lives of others helping love to beget love.
Nicholas, we will always be with you as you are with us…we trust and believe these words to be true and "just know…" that you are "playing and having fun!" We love you, we thank you, and we will never, ever forget you. Remember, we don't have to see you to know you are here! Here is a kiss for you, another kiss…and thank you for that kiss from you…and here is another kiss placed on you. I do feel you son; go on, go on and play with Jesus.
NOTES:
- That picture of a train in one of today's guestbook entries is exactly like one of Nicholas'-thank you for this beautiful surprise too. And, thank you all for the continued guestbook entries: they are still very helpful and part of the circle of love talked about.
- More pictures from one of this weekend's Nicholas Colby Fund experience and other connections of love are on the Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 album...and you can see one patient with Baron Davis of the Golden State Warriors quickly, by clicking on View Photos on this Home Page:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
Sunday, April 15, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Saturday, April 14, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
ANOTHER SONG, ANOTHER MOMENT OF LOVE (We trust and believe…)
In July 2006 one of the journals imparted Nicholas' love for music along with the connection the words or just the music has within each of us. Just hearing songs, especially those that included God or Jesus' name, resonate deep within us generating an amazing sense of God's omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence. Songs have always been a significant part of Nicholas' life before he could talk.
There are so many songs that we regularly sang with and to Nicholas throughout his entire life. Sometimes we sang them the way they were written, sometimes we created songs, and sometimes we modified songs to fit Nicholas or the situations we were experiencing.
Although the pain in our hearts is constant, hearing or singing songs Nicholas enjoyed or songs about God's love amazingly delivers something deep within us that soothes our hearts and souls…if only for a moment. Songs and/or singing help to realize love!
Today, a song ("Come to Jesus" by Damaris on the album The Heart Of God) we were listening to provided a moment that was sad and also provided peace knowing God loves Nicholas so, so much. Following are some of the words to the song heard today:
"…and with your final heartbeat, kiss the world goodbye,
Then go in peace and laugh on glory's side.
And fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus and live!
Fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus,
Come to Jesus, go on, sing for Jesus, fall on Jesus,
Cry to Jesus, dance for Jesus, fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus and live!"
GENERATING SMILES…AND WE KNOW IT IS BECAUSE OF NICHOLAS' SMILE AND GOD'S LOVE
In three days (April 15-17, 2007) patients from Children's Hospital Oakland, University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital, and Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital will experience a Nicholas Colby Fund event with the Golden State Warriors and the San Francisco Ballet. Please see the flyer above on the Home Page, and click View Photos where 2 of the 3 pictures are flyers for the other two experiences over three days.
TODAY WAS NICHOLAS' OLDEST BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY
...and yes during dinner outside under the stars and a picturesque sunset we thought and talked about Nicholas. We talked about a night in Hawaii having dinner outside with Nicholas. We smiled, felt love, and feel Nicholas' love helping us to smile while we often cry loving him so much.
Friday, April 13, 2007
(no journal written)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Wednesday, April 11, 2007 11:05 PM CDT
SWEET-BITTER-SWEET…HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN
Sweet-bitter-sweet is a phrase we began to use on December 18, 2006, describing how we feel missing Nicholas so, so much. We use the phrase sweet-bitter-sweet because the sweetness of Nicholas warms our lives; missing his physical presence leaves a bitter hole in our hearts; however, feeling Nicholas' love sweetens our souls.
While the sweet-bitter-sweet notion is a blessing to hold onto, this week we also hold onto the notion of helping others (Helping Children Be Children). Two of the children we have met along the way are experiencing very, very bitter times right now:
-For Camilia, Sheila has spent the week with the family helping the mother who asked for guidance…and helping Camilia who asked for companionship
-For Troy, through The Nicholas Colby Fund and the amazing ways the Golden State Warriors demonstrates their caring, Troy and his family will enjoy a great time out at the Warriors' April 15 game and a "Meet & Greet" with one of the Warriors' star players-Baron Davis
________________________________________
Tuesday, April 10, 2007 10:59 PM CDT
HE IS OUR SON; YOUR BROTHER, GRANDSON, NEPHEW, COUSIN, FRIEND…
As much as helping "other" children be children feels right and, certainly, is what Nicholas would be (is) doing…sometimes the pain in our hearts pierces through the linings of love that surrounds us even as we help others through The Nicholas Colby Fund. The pain surfaces and cuts into what our lives are today. Sometimes although we trust and believe God's words and His love…missing Nicholas so, so much seems to stop our lives in some ways. And as we would hold Nicholas and pray with him about God's love…it feels right knowing that Nicholas is asking God to hold us as Nicholas prays with us from Heaven and from his touch that, thankfully, always surrounds us.
We still pray to God for Nicholas more than we do ourselves…because he is our son. And because God is God we know that he has never left Nicholas alone-Nicholas is God's son too!
________________________________________
Monday, April 9, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
BEAUTIFUL SURPRISES
Remember how Nicholas, like many kids and some adults, loved coloring Easter eggs…and of course loved to find the "prize" egg during our Easter egg hunts? (If you clicked on View Photos this past weekend to see the 3 pictures on this website without having to leave the website you would have seen Nicholas at Easter last year and in 2004.) Once again, this past weekend someone left a beautiful surprise for Nicholas at the Oakmont site. It was a wonderfully decorated Easter egg.
And once again, because of Nicholas' love and Nicholas being loved, someone left a beautiful surprise for us on the upright marker at the Oakmont site. The surprise for us was another Willow Tree figurine-"Angel of the Heart" for those who love and are loved.
SMILES FROM TONIGHT'S NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® EXPERIENCE
Please copy and paste the following Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007 photo album link into your browser to see smiles from tonight's experience. And you will see Thunder "playing and having fun" with some of the kids as well.
Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND PHOTO ALBUMS
Nicholas Colby Fund photo albums depict Nicholas' legacy of love, hope, trust, caring, giving, sensitivity…and reveals the smiles generated from Helping Children Be Children. To view, please copy and paste the following links into your web browser:
Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Sunday, April 8, 2007
(no journal written)
Saturday, April 7, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Friday, April 6, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
GOOD FRIDAY, EASTER
Tonight we watched the movie, The Pursuit Of Happiness, starring Will Smith. The "about" information for the movie states it is about how determination finally pays off…and that with self-confidence and the love and trust of his son the person rises above obstacles.
For me, the movie does elicit determination, love, and trust…and the feeling and sense that it left me with is the reminder that only God can bring you happiness and only God can bring us peace. It reminds me of things we used to share with Nicholas, things like the following:
***Following is an excerpt from the July 16, 2006 journal (after Nicholas passed)***
EVERYDAY LIVING HAS CONSTANT REMINDERS AND THEY ARE GOOD AS WELL AS SAD, BUT…
Today, like most days, just going through everyday living takes us to many reminders of Nicholas and we are so, so grateful for the constant memories of love & happiness. And today at Broadway Plaza in Walnut Creek (outdoor mall) and the grocery store there were people we have known a long time and a short time sharing loving memories of Nicholas and thanks for what Nicholas has taught them along the way. These are happy moments and some of these moments along with others bring sadness. Sadness because we, naturally, miss Nicholas. But below are words we have often spoken about that help us along way. It is not just about the words, it is about knowing, trusting, and seeing God's perfect work through and in Nicholas-and praying and believing God's love for all of these kids is all that all of these kids and all of us need and have.
"I walk with God along the way, and oh, it is a joyful-dominion day. No more I suffer cruel fear, I feel God's presence with me here. The joy that none (and nothing) can take away is mine, I walk with God today."
"Green pastures are before me, which yet I have not seen. Bright skies will soon be over me, where darkest clouds have been. My hope I cannot measure, my path in life is free. My Father has my treasure, and He will walk with me."
***Following is an excerpt from the February 23, 2006 journal (before Nicholas passed)***
AND ANOTHER GOOD DAY
Nicholas had another good day although it was a rather quiet day in terms of activities. He looks great, he is full of spirit, and he expresses joy! Mom & dad are grateful that he is happy and we are so happy that he understands things in relative terms. (We are using "things" in a general way in place of physical activities while on "this journey.")
What we mean here is that while he cannot run and jump like he is use to doing, he tries to do the those things and at times will say, "you know I can't run and jump but I will try." He says these things in a positive way at times; sometimes he wants to talk and pray about these things. While we are happy about his approach, we are also sad that he has to face these things. There is so much more to life than physical things and the fact that he still does these things-the best way he can-generates smiles from us and we are so happy to witness smiles from Nicholas. And we thank God for Nicholas' smiles and approach.
And we know that "this journey" is and can be whatever and however God charts the path for it to be.
THINKING BACK TO TODAY AND WATCHING THE MOVIE, The Pursuit Of Happiness
Simply put, we experience some layers of happiness calling out God's name…and we are happy" knowing Nicholas loved to pray and call out to God & to Jesus…trusting and believing that Nicholas is happy being with God and heavenly enjoying "playing and having fun" with Jesus. Nicholas must be surrounded with treasures and Nicholas is walking with God & Jesus. (Remember, Nicholas loves treasures like his pots of gold and the simple pleasures of loving…)
Our angel, Nicholas, we do not have to see you to know that you are here! And, you will find the prize Easter egg again this Easter and through God you are feeling our love and know that you are loved as you are never gone, never far. We are happy to reflect on the prayers and talks we had about how "we just know…"
***PLEASE CLICK VIEW PHOTOS TO SEE NICHOLAS AT EASTER 2006 and 2004***
We hope everyone enjoys Easter and look for ways to have happy days…we will and will do so trusting and believing God's love and that love begets love.
________________________________________
Thursday, April 5, 2007 11:08 PM CDT
HE IS ALWAYS THERE!
While journal entries were not written Tuesday and Wednesday nights, love begetting love and the circle of love that we often express through what we see & feel is always at work. Nicholas is always loved; always giving love; and never gone, never far.
We are so grateful that because God is God, He is always being God even when sometimes many of us do not receive what we want. We firmly believe and trust God's love to always provide…sometimes in ways we, certainly, do not want. But we trust and believe He will make a way for us that will be more than all right. Things may not be when and how we want today, but some days and/or some day we will realize that His love is making our days more than all right.
For us, it is hard to say that days are all right or that days are okay. It is like we wrote in the November 27, 2006 journal entry:
NEVER EASY, SOMETIMES HARDER, ALWAYS DIFFERENT, AND…We continually are thankful for being able to get through the days and nights. With time going by it has never been easy. Sometimes it is excruciating hard. It has always been different in terms of our emotions-like the proverbial roller coaster we talked about during Nicholas' leukemia journey. And constantly we feel love and a sense of calm when we need it most. We have always recognized blessings along Nicholas' journey and even today.
It is not easy to understand the blessings amidst the pain. However, as amazing as Nicholas always has been and as amazing as God is, everything perfect and pure has to be going on for Nicholas so we can hear Nicholas saying, "I'm okay" in the beautiful, playful way that he does. It is absolutely never easy; it is hard. And with Nicholas and with God-spirit and love-we have to be okay.
AS EASTER SUNDAY APPROACHES, SO DOES THE BEGINNING OF APRIL'S NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCES
- April 9, 2007: Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital patients at a Golden State Warriors professional basketball game, and a visit from Thunder (Warriors' mascot)
- April 15, 2007: A University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital patient at a San Francisco Ballet with her family
- April 15, 2007: A Children's Hospital Oakland/University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital patient and family at a Golden State Warriors basketball game, and a surprise visit is planned
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND PHOTO ALBUMS
Referring to the heading, Current Pictures, on the Home Page above the daily journal you will see the link to copy and paste into your browser for all the Nicholas Colby Fund photo albums. These albums depict Nicholas' legacy and reveals the smiles generated from your help toward Helping Children Be Children.
Below is the newest photo album:
Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
***PLEASE CLICK VIEW PHOTOS TO SEE NICHOLAS AT EASTER 2006 and 2004***
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
(no journal written)
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Monday, April 2, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
HEAVEN AND A HALO
Reflecting on this past weekend and the Saturday and Sunday night journals (under Journal History), we thought about the "Heaven" poem in the picture/story book about Nicholas that we recently received from friends who live in Germany. (The link to copy and paste into your browser to view the book will be kept above the daily journal on the Home Page-above. It is under Picture/Story Book About Nicholas.) The link to copy and paste is:
http://preview.picaboo.com/Webview/CoverPage.aspx?album=0000000000002E098C&user=0000000000002E10CE
Following is the poem-Heaven-that is in the book:
Now that I am in Heaven, Lord
And life is just a dream.
I don't want to hang around,
Eating strawberries and cream.
I'm really quite an active child,
And I don't need to rest.
I'll just play and do the things,
You know I like the best.
I'll play ball in Heaven, Lord,
With my halo on my head.
I'll run around the playing field,
Or use my wings instead.
I'll pick the players on my team,
And when we win the game,
I'll make the Heaven's Hall of Fame.
Everyone will know my name.
I'll fish the streams and rivers, Lord,
And lure big fish my way.
You know I'll put them back again,
To catch another day.
I'll sail the seas and see the land,
The mountains and the plains.
I'll fly the skies with open eyes,
Above the clouds and rain.
I'll even practice all the things,
An angel has to do.
But mommy (daddy, brothers, family, and friends) you know my favorite thing,
Is watching over you.
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND PHOTO ALBUMS
Referring to the heading, Current Pictures, on the Home Page above the daily journal you will see the link to copy and paste into your browser for all the Nicholas Colby Fund photo albums. These albums depict Nicholas' legacy and reveals the smiles generated from your help toward Helping Children Be Children.
Below is the newest photo album:
Nicholas Colby Fund 2nd Quarter 2007
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.bqwzr5sm&x=1&y=-u2np5x
***PLEASE CLICK VIEW PHOTOS TO SEE NICHOLAS AT EASTER 2006 and 2004***
________________________________________
Sunday, April 1, 2007 11:07 PM CDT
A MOMENT TODAY EXPERIENCING NICHOLAS IN A NEW/DIFFERENT WAY
Nicholas' grandmother is back in the hospital…and Nicholas made his presence felt-it was another expression seemingly from Heaven. (Remember the August 18, 2006 2:15 AM journal entry about what was seen via clouds?)
While we were visiting my mom in the hospital, looking out the window and into the blue sky with white-whispery clouds (directly across from the window), in the midst of the whispery clouds there were clouds that formed a perfect uppercase "A". Above the "A" there was a halo! We told my mom that our angel, Nicholas, was watching over her as well.
THE AMAZING SATURDAY MORNING (Saturday night's journal)
The experience we wrote about in Saturday's journal is one, like others, that help us feel Nicholas in beautiful ways. Remember, we say…never gone, never far… As much as these moments help us to smile, they are bittersweet! And yes, we trust and believe God's love and His words. We do breathe a little harder and continually pray so much more.
UPCOMING APRIL 2007 NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCES
- April 9, 2007: Patients will fill the suite to enjoy the Golden State Warriors professional basketball game. And, yes, there will be a surprise visit from Thunder-Warriors' mascot-for the patients.
- April 15: San Francisco Ballet at the War Memorial Opera House for a couple of patients and their family
- April 15, 2007: A patient and their family will be up close and personal at a Golden State Warriors basketball game. A meet-and-greet time with one of the players is planned.
***PLEASE CLICK VIEW PHOTOS TO SEE NICHOLAS AT EASTER 2006 and 2004***
Saturday, March 31, 2007 10:15 PM CDT
CHOOSING TO TAKE-IN NATURE'S LOVE, GOD'S LOVE
This morning at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park in Lafayette another soothing, amazing scene was waiting. At first there were quails, butterflies, a beautiful blue sky, and colors galore all around.
The colors: The vibrant green grass and trees, rainbow of colors of flowers, the SpiderMan kite, the Easter flag & decorations, and some of Nicholas' toys.
The toys: Harlem Globetrotters' basketball; a SpiderMan, PeterPan, and PowerRanger action figure; dolphin squeeze toy that squirts water he bought in Denver; water gun; etc.
All these things were reflected in the golden gazing-ball on the site.
A butterfly sporadically flew around the site for awhile. The quail came back and "played" in the tree for quite awhile. The chirp of the quail is very distinct as they flap their wings. Those chirps sometimes took a backseat to the occasional chirping of flocks of birds flying around.
Remember the hawks and squirrels. The hawks made a soaring presence in eye-level view as they flew over the valley behind Nicholas' site, and a squirrel danced around.
There were soothing humming sounds heard from all around, mixed with chirps, buzzing, gobbles (from turkeys in the distance somewhere in the valley), wings fluttering, etc. It was like Dolby sound-it was nature in action.
On this very calm morning (weather), experiencing all these things was a prelude to warm, soft breezes followed by birds "here and there" and one quail resting under one of the bushes on the site. Other birds were hopping around the portion of Nicholas' site that slopes down toward the valley (Briones Regional Park). The first thought was…they were mimicking an Easter bunny! And a vibrant-blue bird, I guess sensing the safe and peaceful surroundings even as I sat just a few feet from the birdbath, landed and took a bath in the birdbath.
Nicholas thoroughly enjoyed all holidays and Easter was, certainly, one of his favorites. Remember the journals and pictures (before and after the diagnosis) about/of Nicholas coloring Easter eggs and hunting for Easter eggs? (Nicholas' favorite things are in the August 15, 2006 journal entry.)
***PLEASE CLICK VIEW PHOTOS TO SEE NICHOLAS AT EASTER 2006 and 2004***
RHETORICAL QUESTION: Have you sat and soaked in the love and joy around you? Just sit, listen, and look. God provides in some amazing ways here so we trust He delivers perfectly amazing things in Heaven; Nicholas knows this.
MARCH 2007 NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® EXPERIENCES
- March 1, 2007: Disney on Ice - Disney Adventure was enjoyed by patients from Children's Hospital Oakland who filled the suite
- March 4, 2007: Disney on Ice - Disney Adventure was enjoyed by patients from the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital Oakland who filled the suite
- March 9, 2007: Golden State Warriors basketball game for patients from the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital Oakland who filled the suite
- March 12, 2007: The Wiggles - Racing To The Rainbow for a Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital patient and family
- March 16, 2007: Golden State Warriors basketball game for patients from Children's Hospital Oakland who filled the suite
- March 25, 2007: A gift to ease burdens for a Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital patient and his mother
- Continually, the "nutritional packs" are immediately available on site for every parent of a child going into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Children's Hospital Oakland
Friday, March 30, 2007
(no journal written)
Thursday, March 29, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 10:48 PM CDT
DANCING WITH JESUS, DANCING TOGETHER WITHOUT BEING TOGETHER (Physically; We are always more than just in each others' hearts and souls forever)
A new-found friend from Denver, Colorado shared a thought that we hold close to our hearts as well. The thought is…We did not have to have our child taken away from us to do the things that we do with our respective foundation/fund. We would gladly donate our time, energy, love, etc. to help create moments for a child (and their family) to smile. And, we trust and believe God enabling us to "just know" that God's will never stopping loving and providing everything for Nicholas, for us, and for all of you...
Nicholas had so many wonderful, beautiful smiles on his face…he created so many amazing smiles…and truly Nicholas with God's love is generating smiles EVERYWHERE Helping Children Be Children! We continually pray, trusting and believing that ALL OF GOD'S WORDS are delivering their promises to Nicholas…and need to know that God's words are doing all of those beautiful things for our beautiful Nicholas. We trust the smiles generated are just a fraction of the heavenly feelings providing Nicholas with EVERYTHING perfect, pure, and more than desired by Nicholas.
Today we cried again missing Nicholas, cried loving Nicholas, and cried out to God feeling that we were talking with Nicholas as well as God. And tonight we thought about another song that we loving shared, sang, and danced to with Nicholas. There are many elements of the song that help us to be close to Nicholas today, we trust tomorrow, and believe keeps us close to Nicholas forever:
"Dance With My Father" by Luther Vandross
Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure, I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Monday, March 26, 2007 10:52 PM CDT
REMEMBERING, ALWAYS AND FOREVER
We experience life DAY-BY-DAY without Nicholas, physically, and experience life with Nicholas, spiritually, in ways that God allows us to hold & pat Nicholas just the way he likes. Remember (May 1, 2006 and October 18, 2006 journals for example)? And we know that Nicholas understands us living without him physically by way of his amazing sense of love that is constant and truly never gone, never far. Remember when Nicholas said, "It's okay to spend time with your other sons too!" referring to a time when he was in the hospital and I was faced with a time one of our other sons wanted me to attend a basketball game with him.
As the 1st Quarter of 2007 comes to a close, copying and pasting the following link into your browser you will SEE LOVE-BEGETTING-LOVE AS SPIRITS ARE LIFTED and smiles generated on the faces of children from Children's Hospital Oakland, Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, The University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital, and others touched by The Nicholas Colby Fund…Helping Children Be Children:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
(Links to copy and paste to view the other Nicholas Colby Fund photo albums are above the daily journal content, under the heading called "CURRENT PICTURES")
To view the PICTURE/STORY BOOK about Nicholas' journey that was created by a friend, please copy and paste the following link into your browser:
http://preview.picaboo.com/Webview/CoverPage.aspx?album=0000000000002E098C&user=0000000000002E10CE
________________________________________
Sunday, March 25, 2007 10:57 PM CDT
EASTER APPROACHES AND LOVE THANKFULLY STAYS
We decorated Nicholas' site for Easter today and there were two surprises left at the site for Nicholas and us: A chocolate Easter bunny figurine for Nicholas and a Willow Tree figurine for Sheila.
SEEING LOVE: Seven pictures from today were added to the Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 photo album (and you can quickly see two of them by clicking on the View Photos button at the top of this Home Page):
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
PICTURES OF MANY OF YOU AND WORDS THAT HELP US: If you missed this past Thursday's journal, copying and pasting the following link into your browser you will be able to see & read an amazing gift to us…Nicholas in ways you have seen, in ways you have not seen, with many of you, and words to be heard and shared for evermore. As we said last week, all of what we see, feel, hear, touch, and smell that gives us joy is from God and because God is God…He enables Nicholas to forever live so wonderfully in our lives...Nicholas knew he was loved and surely must know that he is so loved today:
http://preview.picaboo.com/Webview/CoverPage.aspx?album=0000000000002E098C&user=0000000000002E10CE
NURSES STILL HELP BY NURSING OUR HEARTS: Seeing many of Nicholas' nurses from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital today-on Nicholas' 10 month in Heaven and after we delivered a Nicholas Colby Fund package to a family at the Ronald McDonald House-infused our hearts with pieces of peace. Nicholas had an amazing relationship with all of the members of the medical team…they were and are his friends!
While we were dropping of treats for the medical team and for parents on the floor where Nicholas was treated, love-begetting-love was once again at work as interacting with the nurses helped to comfort our hearts. (And yes, there were mixed feelings not having Nicholas-physically-with us!)
________________________________________
Saturday, March 24, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
10 MONTHS IN HEAVEN (Sunday)
Tomorrow (Sunday) it will be 10 months that Nicholas has been in Heaven! Today and tonight we spent time with family and friends…and along with general conversations Nicholas was specifically part of many of those conversations. As HARD as it is being without Nicholas, the way all of you show up in our lives help us celebrate Nicholas and his presence even as we engage with "everyday life."
Today we were in Sacramento watching Nicholas' cousin, Alex, and her high school basketball team participate in a state basketball championship game. Seeing young adults (the high school kids) and children of all ages interact & play in different settings is sometimes extremely difficult…and we understand that life for others in those settings are their lives to relish and cherish. It is trusting God, "just knowing" that Nicholas in God's speed is not missing us because it is like only moments away, that enables us to enter the lives of others as well as our own knowing that the "circle of love" continually help us all get through the days and nights in warm, loving ways. We see it this way, although it is HARD, because we have not lost Nicholas knowing that he is held and loved by God!
A TRIP TOMORROW TO THE RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE (RMH) AT STANFORD-LUCILE PACKARD CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL
Referring to this past Thursday's journal, tomorrow (Sunday) we will be at the RMH responding to an opportunity to help a family in a way that keeps home a place where love grows-The Nicholas Colby Fund continually grateful to be able to help uplift the spirit of children (and their families).
EASTER
Tomorrow we will decorate Nicholas' site for Easter; yes, we will have pictures on this website and the 1st Quarter 2007 photo album.
________________________________________
Friday, March 23, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
A CEO, A CHEERLEADER, A PRESIDENT…PEOPLE AND THEIR LIVES INTERTWINED IN WAYS WITH NICHOLAS AND THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND
Just a quick note about how everyone, near and far, from school to professions…share a bond with children in ways that Nicholas helps to create. Today, the lives of a CEO, a high school cheerleader, and a professional sports President engaged with us in special ways because of Nicholas' continued connections born from his love.
To say it in one breath: this afternoon dad had lunch with the CEO of AAA where mom & dad both work…this evening mom & dad interacted with a high school cheerleader before going to the Golden State Warriors' basketball game (you know this is Nicholas' team and they won tonight keeping them on a track toward making the playoffs)…and tonight mom & dad and Gina talked with the President of the Warriors at an event before the game they won over the Washington Wizards. It is not about the positions these three people hold, it is about the conversations diverse people in Nicholas' live have with us as well as people directly and indirectly in their lives that make it possible for many others to understand, know, and appreciate the simple joy children can have and the amazing impact "love-begetting-love has on all of our lives.
REMEMBER THE GIFT SHARED IN THE JOURNAL LAST NIGHT (Thursday)
By copying and pasting the following link you will be able to see & read the amazing gift…Nicholas in ways you have seen, in ways you have not seen, with many of you, and words to be heard and shared for evermore:
http://preview.picaboo.com/Webview/CoverPage.aspx?album=0000000000002E098C&user=0000000000002E10CE
________________________________________
Thursday, March 22, 2007 10:54 PM CDT
A ROCK, AN EMAIL…AND NICHOLAS' PERMANENT LOVE REACHING OUT TO HELP
Remember, last night's journal talked about the gift that visiting friends (Tina and Mitch) from Germany delivered to us. By copying and pasting the following link you will be able to see & read the amazing gift…Nicholas in ways you have seen, in ways you have not seen, with many of you, and words to be heard and shared for evermore:
http://preview.picaboo.com/Webview/CoverPage.aspx?album=0000000000002E098C&user=0000000000002E10CE
All of what we see, feel, hear, touch, and smell that gives us joy is from God and because God is God He enables Nicholas to forever live so wonderfully in our lives...Nicholas knew he was loved and surely must know that he is so loved today!
THE ROCK: Nicholas loved to collect rocks as many of you may remember from these journals. Today at Nicholas' site with Tina and Mitch, Sheila asked Tina about coming across a rock in Germany someday…and before Sheila could finish her sentence, Tina pulled out a rock she brought from Germany! Imagine that. The rock is engraved with "Nikko, Always Thinking About You! Tina and Mitch - Germany." It was placed at Nicholas site in the plant/flower bed.
THE EMAIL: Today we received an email from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital about potentially "helping" out a family whose child also had a bone marrow transplant. Remember how we talk about love-begetting-love and circle of love? ALL OF US-INCLUDING YOU-FINDING WAYS TO JUST HELP SOMEBODY matters in do things that many of us may not fully know. Thanks for helping us enabling us to help others. All of us together provide love in ways that help uplift the spirits of children we continually touch through The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children. Yes, we found a way to help this family and on Sunday we will meet the mother and child.
________________________________________
Wednesday, March 21, 2007 11:14 PM CDT
THE SKY, MOON, AND STAR…GOD, HEAVEN, AND NICHOLAS
As 10 months of Nicholas being in Heaven approaches (March 25, 2007), the pain in our hearts has spread to be more like pain throughout our bodies…everyday. And, thankfully, God's love along with our trust in God's love lets us know that Nicholas is more than all right. The more we focus on God, the more love spreads over our lives...helping us to get through the days and nights...and helping us to know more and more that Nicholas is more than all right because he is in Heaven "playing and having fun" along with sliding on magnificent rainbows while joyfully walking on streets of gold.
All the love spread through The Nicholas Colby Fund is Nicholas with God's love. Thank you, all, for helping us uplift the spirits of children that Nicholas continues to touch…Helping Children Be Children.
Tonight the periwinkle sky with cascading shades of blue set a beautiful background for the moon and a star right beneath the moon. This evening's sky provided a cool, calm sensation of love that seemed to set a warm mood as friends (Tina and Mitch) of Nicholas and ours from Germany came to visit us for a couple of days. And an amazing gift of love-many perspectives-was given to us tonight.
THE GIFT OF LOVE TONIGHT
Tomorrow night we will share this gift with you via a connection on Thursday night's journal. For this moment, we want to share a few aspects of the gift:
- Following are Nicholas' words on November 19, 2004, immediately after we were told that he had leukemia. As mom began to cry and dad closely held Nicholas and mom, Nicholas said, "Don't worry about me, I'll be alright."
- And following is part of what was shared by Tina and Mitch:
His Smile
Though his smile is gone forever, and his hand I cannot touch,
I still have so many memories, of the one I love so much.
His memory is my keepsake, with which I'll never part.
God has him in His keeping, I have him in my heart.
- And they shared this too:
Nikko, our little hero!
You will always be our little sunshine!
I wish Mitch could of met you but I told him all about you & he read your webpage with me all the time. He said you are his soldier, his little hero!
This picture was taken in Egypt. While we were on a Safari watching the stars, I was thinking about you. Come to find out later on you went to heaven around that time.
You are my angel who is watching over us!
Ich liebe dich, (means I love you in German)
Tina
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Monday, March 19, 2007 11:47 PM CDT
THE SIMPLE PLEASURE OF A KITE…AND ENDLESS TREASURES FROM NICHOLAS
The Home Page picture above and the first two of 3 pictures after clicking on View Photos, provide touches of love as the wind propels the SpiderMan kite and keeps it afloat even without us holding the string. We connected the string to the in-ground flagpole…and it felt like Nicholas was flying the kite.
Remember the wording on the back of the upright memorial marker (November 21, 2006 journal under Journal History, and picture in the Nicholas Colby Fund Begins album or the third photo album below this journal entry, under Links)?
Here is the web address for the Nicholas Colby Fund begins album:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
"I'll glide beyond the rainbows. I'll drift above the sky. I'll fly into the wonder, without ever wondering why.
I'll never be alone; I'll be embraced by all the family and friends I've ever known. Although I might not see their faces, all our hearts will beat as one. And the circle of our spirits will shine brighter than the sun.
I'll have the love of those who loved me, and the warmth of those who cared…the happiness and memories and magic that we shared. I will cherish all the friendships I was fortunate to find, all the love and all the laughter in the place I leave behind. All these good things will go with me; they will make my spirit glow. And the light will shine forever in the next place that I go."
These are excerpts from the book, The Next Place, by Warren Hanson (The May 26, 2006 journal talks about the importance of these words and the book to us as well as the connection to Nicholas).
Seeing and feeling the wind as the kite glides, we think about all the wonders created by God and we think about God's work that is always perfect. We think about this because Nicholas is God's work and His work is perfectly everlasting…we are blessed to have endless treasures and feelings of Nicholas…never gone, never far…through God's love providing for Nicholas as God and Nicholas provide love to us.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Saturday, March 17, 2007 11:59 PM CDT
NICHOLAS, PRECIOUS NICHOLAS
Nicholas, we constantly think of you and feel the love that we amazingly share. We love you with every breath we take. Precious Nicholas, "playing and having fun" with Jesus must be amazingly wonderful and a joy that we trust keeps a smile on your beautiful face…while your spirit colorfully illuminates like the rainbows and gold you love to paint.
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND NUTRITIONAL PACKS AT CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL OAKLAND
Tomorrow (Sunday) we will deliver another supply of nutritional packs to the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) at Children's Hospital Oakland. We began this action on January 20, 2007 and will continually do so…Helping Children Be Children by helping parents and/or guardians of children. We are very pleased that the administration and the hospital board that has oversight of an action like this that we are taking, approved The Nicholas Colby Fund to be a provider of this action.
One PICU social worker said, "The snack packs, by the way, have been a great success and have provided a much needed snack to many of our families. As you know, many of our patients come to the ICU unexpectedly. These snack bags really help to keep our families nourished until their child becomes more stable, and they can allow themselves to pull away from the bedside."
Remember, these packs have been put together by us and are immediately available on site to every parent and/or guardian of a child going into the PICU. Our precious Nicholas was (and is) so loved that he had the wonder & joy of love always present from God, from mom & dad every moment of the leukemia and bone marrow transplant journey (and before), from family, from friends, and from all of you that have become "friends." As we said before, we recognize that people are able to care and help in different ways-and all of you cared about Nicholas and constantly helped him as well as our family. Your caring and help, directly and indirectly, enabled us to be more present with Nicholas every step of every moment of the journey…love begetting love. And this action we are taking with the PICU is to help others during some very difficult steps as well.
NOTE: You can see these nutritional packs by accessing the "Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007" photo album. Simply copy and paste the following link into your web browser and scroll to the 1/20/07 and 3/18/07 pictures:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
ADDITIONAL THANKS: Thank you Diablo Foods of Lafayette for providing the granola bars and applesauce (to go along with a container of juice in each bag). And thank you Admac Digital Imaging for providing the Nicholas Colby Fund labels for the bags.
FOLLOWING IS THE WORDING OF THE PERSONAL NOTE THAT IS PLACED IN EACH BAG:
FRONT: The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children (logo)
INSIDE: On November 19, 2004 our lives had been changed by the devastating Leukemia diagnosis of our beautiful 4 year-old son, Nicholas Colby Gilbert. (The youngest of four boys.)
We navigated the Leukemia and Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) journey for 1 ½ years. On May 23, 2006, our son became critically ill and went into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU). Understandably, our emotions were high and not knowing what the next moment would bring, we had no thoughts of leaving Nicholas' side. Our wonderful social worker brought us a nutritional pack, similar to this one, and encouraged us to eat and drink.
The PICU staff was lovingly attentive to Nicholas as well as us. And we were so thankful for the nutritional pack because we now know it was helpful toward providing the physical strength needed.
Early afternoon on May 25, 2006, our lives-once again-had been changed forever. One choice we were left with was two continue sharing Nicholas' amazing love, spirit, and inspiration: love begetting love…and The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children was created. In addition to directly Helping Children Be Children, another action we wanted to take was what we hope will be helpful to you.
Please accept this nutritional pack from us to you. We hope it provides you with strength and, mostly, comfort knowing that many others care about your family.
This nutritional pack is provided through donations from Diablo Foods of Lafayette, CA (including other individuals and organizations) partnering with us and The Nicholas Colby Fund.
Warmly,
The Gilbert Family and The Nicholas Colby Fund
BACK: The meaning lies not in the knowing, but in the believing; not in understanding, but in having faith.
The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children
(A registered non-profit organization)
1547 Palos Verdes Mall, PMB 260
Walnut Creek, CA 94597-2228
Website: www.caringbridge.org/ca/nicholascolbygilbert
(In the 2nd quarter of 2007 transitioning to www.nicholascolbyfund.org)
Email: info@nicholascolbyfund.org
Friday, March 16, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Thursday, March 15, 2007 10:40 PM CDT
THE WIND AND NICHOLAS FLYING A KITE
Do you remember the kite (thanks Kimmy) that was placed at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site a few weeks ago for all of us to fly at the site when the wind allows (February 19, 2007 journal)? While we have flown the kite several times...this evening the wind suspended the kite about 10 feet in the air…and we placed the handle holding the string, onto the in-ground flagpole that holds the various seasonal/special flags we place at the site. There was a lovely feeling of awe seeing the kite swaying back-and-forth, up-and-down by itself with the wind. It was like Nicholas was flying the kite.
Thank you, Nicholas, for the kiss…and here is another and another and another…kiss to you!
ANOTHER NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCE TOMORROW NIGHT (Friday)
Tomorrow night (Friday) patients from Children's Hospital Oakland will be Nicholas' guests in a suite at the Golden State Warriors' basketball game against the Minnesota Timberwolves. This is another Nicholas Colby Fund experience delivered to children toward Helping Children Be Children. And a surprise appearance by Thunder (Warriors' mascot) has been arranged to add a special touch to this night-Nicholas always enjoyed interacting with Thunder!
Photos will be placed into the Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 album and you can view them by copying and pasting the following address into your web browser:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
QUICK NOTE
Friday night, March 16, The Nicholas Colby Fund is sending patients (and their families) from Children's Hospital Oakland into a suite to enjoy the Golden State Warriors vs. the Minnesota Timberwolves in a professional basketball game. You can see the flyer by clicking on View Photos.
________________________________________
Tuesday, March 13, 2007 10:47 PM CDT
BLESSINGS ARE ALL AROUND ALL OF US
Remember Nicholas singing, "stop, look, and listen…you don't know what you are missing…" As hard as some moments are-more than others-we know there are constant blessings. Thank you Nicholas for the constant message to stop, look, and listen! There have been many blessings like tonight when we read Matthew Tsern's journal (tsern.com) and also knowing that Kai Watanabe, Kaeli Downey, Noah Harris, and others of "these beautiful children" are doing relatively well.
We know how hard, painful, and scary some of these journeys are for others. And we know that God gave us a promise enabling us to get through the days and nights, enabling Nicholas to live…and live today with his amazing love and spirit caressing us everyday while Nicholas must be "playing and having fun" with Jesus.
THIS EVENING ONE OF "THESE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN" JOINED US AT A WARRIORS' PARTY
The Golden State Warriors (professional basketball) held a Season Ticket Holder Party this evening. We arranged to have Troy and his mother be our guests. (Remember, Nicholas shared a room one night with Troy early on during Nicholas treatment at Children's Hospital Oakland.) The players, Thunder (mascot), cheerleaders, coaches, front office staff, and events for kids, children, and adults were plentiful. Troy was up close and personal with several players, Thunder, and all of the cheerleaders. Did you see the Home Page picture of Troy and one of the cheerleaders above? (The picture and another one is now on the Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 album; you can copy and paste the following address to view it and all of the Nicholas Colby Fund photo album addresses are on the top portion of the Home Page.)
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Monday, March 12, 2007 10:04 PM CDT
THE GOODNESS OF GOD, OF NICHOLAS, OF NICHOLAS VIA THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND®
On the January 26, 2007 journal, the day before what would have been Nicholas' 7th birthday, we talked about God's goodness and the goodness of Nicholas. This past weekend was beautiful in terms of the weather: the sun brightly shinning, the warmth of a gentle breeze here and there, and love felt everywhere. Although we know Nicholas is heavenly loved, it was difficult to thoroughly enjoy the weekend…and we did find ways to enjoy the weekend, loving Nicholas every breath of the way. However, as a friend previously shared with us, "It does not get easier, it gets different."
The sky tonight was amazingly beautiful and as we pray and talk to Nicholas we began with loving God, trusting His words as Nicholas always trusted God. Sometimes Nicholas would say, "I know God loves me but how come He doesn't heal me now…?" We would say, "Yes, God certainly does love you son…and we know how we want to see the healing…but we do not know how God will reveal the healing…and we know that because God is God your healing is taking place…" We would then hold him, pat him (just the way he loved to be patted), walk with him in our arms, pray, sing, and simply love the heartbeats loving each other.
The Home Page PICTURE above of Sheila & me (Nicholas' mom & dad) is a reflection of love because of Nicholas, because of God, because of the love all of you share with Nicholas (and all of these beautiful children all of us meet along our individual and shared ways) including work toward Helping Children Be Children through The Nicholas Colby Fund. BY CLICKING ON View Photos you will see two NEW PICTURES…yes, about love.
We shared the following song in January and we are sharing it again because our hearts constantly beat loving Nicholas and grateful our other three boys express their love for Nicholas in ways that they never would have thought, never would have prepared themselves for. Yes, love begets love-thank you God…thank you Nicholas!
MY HEART WILL GO ON (By Celine Dion)
Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
***You can hear it by going to several sites, including: www.ladyjayes.com/heartgoon.html***
Sunday, March 11, 2007
(no journal written)
Saturday, March 10, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Friday, March 9, 2007 11:59 PM CST
AMAZING MORNING: LOVE FROM NICHOLAS, LOVE FROM GOD
While we regularly have birds and squirrels "playing and having fun" in our yard and at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site, this morning amazing touches of love came our way. The walk this morning into the kitchen presented a brighter morning today! There were significantly louder chirps from birds at play. Looking over the sink into the backyard it seemed like an orchestrated display of…well something harmonious and planned.
There were literally dozens of birds-different sizes and colors-chirping, flying, swirling, and landing onto & around the bird feeder, the bird bath, the flowers, the bushes, the trees, the bench swing, Nicholas' "A" frame easel stand (for painting and drawing), the pool fence, and the pool. And the sun peaked over the roof illuminating the heavenly scene of what was purely love providing what love provides.
We thought more about Nicholas in more happy ways…and we thank God for his love today knowing that Nicholas is loved by and with God in simply beautiful and perfect ways!
BEAUTIFUL SURPRISES ALL ALONG THE WAY (and we thank God)
In yesterday's journal we talked about all of you and the things that you do, directly or indirectly, that have been a loving help to Nicholas, to our family, and now to Nicholas' vibrant legacy via The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children. And all along the way you have been part of some beautiful surprises. Following are dates of journals (under the Journal History tab above) that provide your stories as backdrops to Nicholas…and the story continues.
May 5, 2007 - Dolphin
February 19, 2007 - SpiderMan kite
January 27, 2007 - Love, remember, forever
January 25, 2007 - Wood child's bench
December 19, 2006 - Angel Nicholas (guestbook)
October 27, 2006 - Telephone message from Denver, Colorado
October 25, 2006 - Roses, sky, moon, stars, breeze
October 19, 2006 - Nicholas and Hoku (dolphin)
September 26, 2007 - Clouds to embrace
May 17, 2006 - A sparkle and a glow
May 4, 2006 - Package of love from Hollywood
March 17, 2006 - Harp performance by friends and Nicholas saying "boo!"
…and so many more…
MAY 2007?
PLEASE CLICK ON View Photos tab above to see three pictures. The pictures are from May 2004, 2005, 2006, and as May 2007 approaches we feel that the perspective of these three pictures are just three of so many that capture the notions of love experienced: love begetting love, circle of love, & forever in our hearts and souls.
A FEW PICTURES OF LOVE FROM TONIGHT'S NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® EXPERIENCE (copying and pasting the following address into your web browser)
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Thursday, March 8, 2007 11:59 PM CST
HELP HAS COME FROM CHILDREN, HIGH SCHOOL & COLLEGE STUDENTS, AND ADULTS
Nicholas felt it, we felt it, and we are sure Nicholas feels-through God-what we feel today. It is obviously a loving feeling to be part of love begetting love and the diversity of people asking to help The Nicholas Colby Fund…Helping Children Be Children. During Nicholas' leukemia journey and now we have had help in many ways from "all walks of life" from children to high school and college age kids and/or students…to adults.
The many experiences since Nicholas past on May 25, 2006 to uplift the spirit of children have lovingly impacted children and others from all over Northern California, primarily through our work with Children's Hospital Oakland, Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, and The University of San Francisco-Children's Hospital. And help has come from organizations like the Golden State Warriors professional basketball team, Games Unlimited Toy Store, LeapFrog, Diablo Foods, iVenture Consulting, Oakland Ice Arena, Learning Technology Partners, Admac Digital Imaging, CSAA (AAA) Creative Services, etc. And significant help to deliver Nicholas Colby Fund experiences from Gina Baker (founder), Albert Treskin (logo), Luigi DiGrande (website), Diane Clouse (new experiences), and all of you from A-Z.
Thank you all for asking how you can help in addition to financial contributions supporting our delivery of all the experiences you have seen through this website and on the three Nicholas Colby Fund photo albums:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
Soon, on the website we will state specific volunteering needs that will help us to continue delivering the experiences that we have. Right now, it is very helpful in a comforting and therapeutic way for Sheila and I to be heavily involved in the administration, coordination, logistics (including putting together the various packages for the experiences), etc.
Nicholas' spirit and vibrant legacy of love, hope, trust, caring, giving, and sensitivity is forever in our hearts and souls…and shared with so many people now along the way. Again we say what is so true, we are blessed to have you in our lives. Thank you!
IMMEDIATE PLANNED UPCOMING NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® EXPERIENCES
- Tomorrow night (Friday) patients from The University of San Francisco-Children's Hospital and their family members at a Golden State Warriors' basketball game.
- March 12 (Monday) a young boy from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital will be at the HP Pavilion in San Jose to experience The Wiggles-Racing to the Rainbow.
________________________________________
Wednesday, March 7, 2007 11:59 PM CST
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® EXPERIENCE ADDED FOR MARCH 9
ADDED: This coming Friday night patients from The University of San Francisco-Children's Hospital and their family members will be in a suite to have a great time out at a Golden State Warriors' professional basketball game, via The Nicholas Colby Fund.
THE WIGGLES ON MARCH 12
REMEMBER: Monday, March 12, a young boy from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital will be at the HP Pavilion in San Jose to experience The Wiggles-Racing to the Rainbow. The adult entertainers that make up The Wiggles have rewritten the book about how children can be entertained with song and dance. PLEASE CLICK ON View Photos to see the flyer (1 of 3 photos to instantly view).
The February 21, 2007 journal talks about the connection between Nicholas and the parents of a little boy Nicholas met at Children's Hospital Oakland. This little boy's parents donated the tickets for The Wiggles, love begetting love, and The Nicholas Colby Fund added something extra to this experience for the family…Helping Children Be Children.
NOTES
- Today was the birthday of Nicholas' teacher, Ms. Shirley-Happy Birthday Ms. Shirley!
- No journal was written yesterday…we just needed more time to pray, contemplate, and take in blessings Nicholas received, and pray.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
(no journal written)
________________________________________
Monday, March 5, 2007 11:46 PM CST
NICHOLAS DOING WHAT ANGELS (ALL OF THESE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN) DO
The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children helps children in ways that sometimes are not even seen. Like we say about Nicholas, "Our angel, Nicholas…we don't have to see you, to know you are here." One nurse and doctor wrote on a guestbook entry on this website months ago about Nicholas' story continues, referring to the engagement with patients and their families when a beautiful story about Nicholas surfaces to provide help in some amazing ways. And, we say "all of these beautiful children" specifically referring to those with leukemia or other life threatening illnesses.
NOTES
- The next Nicholas Colby Fund experience is March 12 and we will talk about that event later this week.
- While these journals and The Nicholas Colby Fund photo albums (website addresses on the Home Page above the daily journal) keep you up-to-date on experiences delivered for children, the journals continue to be a comforting help to us as well. Of course, everything associated with warmly communicating through the website is a pleasant help to us. However, tonight we are painfully missing Nicholas' physical presence…AND we just know that God wonderfully and beautifully has Nicholas perfectly in Heaven…
- A lei from Hawaii was placed at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site tonight. It was a gift from Nicholas' life-long friend Joey and his parents who just returned from Hawaii. In May 2004 Nicholas and Joey were playing and having fun in Hawaii together.
- A few days ago someone left another beautiful surprise for Nicholas at the Oakmont Memorial Park site. It was a pewter dolphin statute. (Remember, Nicholas loves dolphins and has wonderful memories forever of swimming with dolphins and snorkeling in the ocean while mom spotted dolphins "playing and having fun." The first album below, under Links, provides snapshots of some of these experiences.)
- As always, if you have missed any of the journals, remember all previous journals are chronologically kept under Journal History.
________________________________________
Sunday, March 4, 2007 8:59 PM CST
EXPERIENCES FOR CHILDREN
Tonight ends the Nicholas Colby Fund's three evening Disney on Ice experience for patients from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, Children's Hospital Oakland, and the University of California at San Francisco-Children's Hospital. Aside from ongoing experiences like the nutritional packs continuously provided for parents of a child in the pediatric intensive care unit at Children's Hospital Oakland, there are several instant-fun experiences The Nicholas Colby Fund provides at the children's hospitals such as delivering lollipops, bottles of bubbles, and even pizza deliveries toward Helping Children Be Children.
In journal entries to follow we will talk about experiences to round out the first quarter of 2007.
NICHOLAS' EXPERIENCES THE YEAR BEFORE THE LEUKEMIA DIAGNOSIS
In our journal entries we often talk about love begetting love, and a circle of love. We always talk about Nicholas' vibrant spirit living on through his legacy of love, hope, trust, caring, giving, and sensitivity that amazingly lets us know that he is never gone, never far.
The ocean / pool, basketball, swinging on swings, rock climbing, and even sunsets are some of the experiences Nicholas embraced throughout his life. During the year before the leukemia diagnosis Nicholas was enjoying all of these things (and thankfully he enjoyed them after the diagnosis as well). The first photo album below (under Links) called "Nicholas, past 6 months before diagnosis to Day 79" provides snapshots of all these wonderful experiences. Just in this one album you will see at least five pictures of each of his experiences: at the ocean / pool, basketball, swinging, and in costumes.
CLICKING ON View Photos you will instantly see three pictures: with mom, with a sunset, and with dad.
________________________________________
Saturday, March 3, 2007 11:59 PM CST
NICHOLAS, FAMILY & FRIENDS, AND BASKETBALL
Do you remember all the journals about Nicholas and basketball? Not just during his leukemia journey, but before the diagnosis as well. And do you remember how family, friends, and new acquaintances that became friends shared amazing stories of their interaction with Nicholas? Nicholas had a gift that, truly, wonderfully touched all that he met…and through God Nicholas is wonderfully touching people today…so his story continues.
Do you remember Jordan Fillmore, who is like a brother to Nicholas along with Nicholas' other three brothers (Chris, Timothy, and Matthew)? There are many journals here written about Jordan as well. PLEASE CLICK ON View Photos to see Jordan and Nicholas in 1 of the three pictures.
Do you remember Alex Cowling, who is one of Nicholas' cousins? There are also many journals about Alex. PLEASE CLICK ON View Photos to see Alex and Nicholas in 1 of the three pictures.
REMEMBERING the wonders of love that is a gift that gives even when you may not see the giver was warmly remembered tonight.
- Jordan who lives in Lafayette (where we do) as well as other family friends Joe McGlynn and Ryan Clouse play basketball for Acalanes High School of Lafayette. Tonight Acalanes won the North Coast Section basketball championship for their division! Jordan has always visited Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site before his basketball games and always leaves an "away message" on his cell phone for those who try to reach him on game nights. Tonight Jordan's away message read: "Thank you for all the support, everybody, family and friends. This one is for you, Nikko! I knew we could do it. Love you brother."
- Alex who lives in Benicia plays basketball for St. Patrick/St. Vincent of Vallejo. Tonight St. Patrick/St. Vincent won the North Coast Section basketball championship for their division! Alex was always visiting Nicholas at home and in the hospital-what a beautiful relationship that carries on.
Off to the Northern California tournament for both Acalanes and St. Patrick/St. Vincent and love follows. Remember: Our angel, Nicholas…we don't have to see you, to know you are here.
DISNEY ON ICE VIA THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® - HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN WILL BE EXPERIENCED BY MORE PATIENTS:
- Tomorrow (Sunday) by patients and their families from the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital
________________________________________
Friday, March 2, 2007 11:59 PM CST
NOT LOST, PASSED AND HELD
It may seem normal for many parents, or others, to say the phrase-"I lost (a loved one)"-and sometimes the phrase has nervously escaped from our mouths. On the way to work this morning I saw a parent with her child (like many moments on any given day) and I suddenly had some somber heartbeats. Thankfully, it was also at that moment that, once again, I felt love…helping me to know that we have not "lost" Nicholas!
God has always been "there" for Nicholas-for us-and with us all in ways that He just knows we need. Through God, Nicholas is never gone, never far, in our hearts and souls forever. And in other beautiful and spiritual ways we are blessed to know that Nicholas has not been lost as he is with God.
We trust and believe God's love. Nicholas has "passed" and he is "held" by God. Nicholas loves to be held, remember? And do you remember the song, Held, that was sung during the Memorial Service? Following are the words (it can be heard by accessing www.nicholascolbyfund.org, clicking on Sound Tracks, and then clicking on Held).
"Held" by Natalie Grant, sung on June 2, 2006 by Linda Freitas:
Two months is too little
They let him go they had no sudden healing
To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed, and why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens, to us who have died to live it's unfair
This is what it means to be Held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell we'd be Held
This hand is bitterness we want to taste it,
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow!
This is what it means to be Held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell we'd be Held
If hope is born of suffering,
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait for one hour
Watching for our Savior
This is what it means to be Held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was-"when everything fell, we'd be Held"
We'd be Held
And this is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell, we'd be Held
This is what it means to be Held!
REMEMBER THE POEM THAT ONE OF NICHOLAS' DOCTOR WROTE ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCES WITH NICHOLAS (read during the Memorial Service)?
"Something About Nick" by Dr. Dahl
Lying still yet just awake
in quiet anticipation he'd wait
For you to come and say hello
For he would keep a secret trick to show
As a doctor you'd stop by to chat
But he wouldn't let it stop at that
His hands were hiding something new
You'd have to discover what it would do
Would it flutter could it float
Was it a spider or a goat
You'd have to just wait and see
Nick kept it held in secrecy
What's the word that can best describe
A boy who's so brightly alive
Each small achievement a great success
Finally jumping, all of us impressed
An energetic boy you see
Can deal with adversity
Like none of us as yet can know
He shows us the path to go
________________________________________
Thursday, March 1, 2007 10:40 PM CST
WEEKENDS
As the weekend approaches, we think about how we planned weekend experiences that were fun or just different when Nicholas was in the hospital. Of course, we did fun things during the week, however, during the weekends in the hospital we wanted to create a weekend experience.
And the lesson today with Nicholas' beautiful spirit and love…is to plan weekends to be different…helping love to do what love does. We try to do these things for ourselves, for and with our family, for and with our friends.
DISNEY ON ICE VIA THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® - HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN WILL BE EXPERIENCED BY MORE PATIENTS:
- Sunday by patients and their families from the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital
PLEASE CLICK ON:
- View Photos to see 3 pictures immediately (Nicholas with some classmates and Nicholas with mom)
- The 3 Nicholas Colby Fund photo albums to see love begetting love, Helping Children Be Children. To access please copy and paste the links, above on this Home Page, into your browser.
- The links below to see where are the love comes from via God.
________________________________________
Wednesday, February 28, 2007 11:59 PM CST
EVERY SINGLE DAY THERE IS LOVE HELPING US KNOW THERE IS LOVE
Every single day we wonder how we will get through the day, with the pain that piercingly hurts each day although the amazing memories and touching spirit of Nicholas is wonderfully all around us. And we remember what we would do and say with Nicholas…we pray knowing God loves us and His love continues to deliver love in ways that we would not expect. We thank God for being God…and these remembrances again and again let us know that Nicholas is perfectly safe & warm in His arms. And Nicholas is "playing and having fun" with Jesus.
DISNEY ON ICE VIA THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® - HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN WILL BE EXPERIENCED:
- Tomorrow (Thursday) by patients and their families from Children's Hospital Oakland
- Sunday by patients and their families from the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital
Tuesday, February 27, 2007 10:39 PM CST
WHAT NICHOLAS SAID IS NEVER FORGOTTEN
Do you remember the October 22, 2005 journal? Although our older boys (17, 13, and 11 years older than Nicholas) always had the same level of attention and love growing up, Nicholas reminded us of another lesson that is never forgotten.
It was late afternoon on October 22, 2005 and we were in the hospital with Nicholas (well we were always with him in the hospital). One of our older sons called asking if dad could meet him at a basketball game. Nicholas overhearing dad on the phone say, "I should stay with Nicholas and mom…" said the following to dad in a sincere, sensitive voice. "Dad, it's okay, you need to spend time with your other sons too." We mention this tonight because it is another amazing life lesson from Nicholas, even when he needed attention for obvious reasons.
Our love and attention remembering Nicholas and toward our other three boys is not measured in equal terms toward any of them. Our actions are focused toward providing for each of them, AND we think about Nicholas' words, "it's okay to spend time with your other sons too," as reminders to pay attention where attention needs to be, when it needs to be, and how it needs to be. Our older boys have gone through so much during Nicholas' leukemia journey and today missing their little brother so, so much. We are blessed to know the love all four of our boys shared and share today...because Nicholas is never gone, never far...as he is part of our lives everyday.
DISNEY ON ICE VIA THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® - HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN WILL BE EXPERIENCED:
- Tomorrow (Wednesday) by patients and their families from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital
- Thursday by patients and their families from Children's Hospital Oakland
- Sunday by patients and their families from the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital
________________________________________
Monday, February 26, 2007 11:59 PM CST
REMEMBERING AND LIVING
On the last few journals we talked about finding a way…, a gift from God, Nicholas our precious sunshine who loves rainbows, pots of gold, and everything in between as well as sharing and giving. Nicholas continues to give through his love and share through his spirit.
Along with writing, reading, acting, playing sports, helping in and around the house, Nicholas liked to sing & dance. We think about these things tonight because the song, "Count It All Joy," floated through our hearts as we thought about the last few journals. (Remember, yesterday's journal provide directions to hear this song and others via www.nicholascolbyfund.org.)
EXCERPTS FROM "COUNT IT ALL JOY" (by BeBe and CeCe Winan)
It is hard to understand sometimes
Is there a master plan
How do I make sense of everything I'm going through
So count it all joy, all that you're going through
Even when you are feeling down
Count it all joy, each moment is a gift to you
So turn it all around
And even in the darkest night
If you look hard enough
There's a trace of sunlight waiting there
Yes, waiting there for you
Been searching everywhere to find
That rainbow in the air
Whenever I came close it just seemed to disappear
I had to change my point of view
Start looking at myself
I can't believe I never knew
Everything that I need
Was right here, yes inside of me
NICHOLAS COLBY FUND RELATIONSHIP WITH UCSF-CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL
Tomorrow (Tuesday) The Nicholas Colby Fund begins a relationship with the University of San Francisco-Children's Hospital. Just like the relationships at Children's Hospital Oakland and Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, this new relationship broadens Nicholas' spirit and our reach of Helping Children Be Children.
REMEMBER, AS THE STORY CONTINUES
- The story begins before and during the leukemia journey via the three photo albums below, under Links on the Home Page. Click on the links to access.
- The story continues via the following three smaller photo albums. Please copy and paste the link into your browser. (Moving forward, until we transition to the www.nicholascolbyfund.org site, these three smaller albums will have their access information on the general Home Page information of this CaringBridge website.)
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
NOTE: Two of the 3 photos under View Photos of Nicholas with mom & dad are posted relative to journals this past Friday and Saturday nights.
________________________________________
Sunday, February 25, 2007 9:42 PM CST
NICHOLAS: MEMORIES OF EVERLASTING JOY AND LOVE
On the 9th month of Nicholas being in Heaven…but never gone, never far because Nicholas is in our hearts and souls forever…today and tonight we lovingly reflected on Nicholas. We reflected on his sweet smell, the beautiful sound of his voice, his dazzling-gazing eyes, the heavenly taste kissing his cheek, and his touch that warmly radiates throughout all of our senses letting us know our precious Nicholas is missed as well always felt.
What wonderful, comforting words from the poem and message we shared on Friday and Saturday night journals, respectfully. We thank God for loving Nicholas during all of the yesterdays, today, and all of the tomorrows. And we thank God for all of you for being amazing friends during all of the yesterdays, today, and hopefully all of the tomorrows. Nicholas has-and we have-been blessed and we knew we were blessed along the way. We are thankful for all of these gifts from God-especially the gift of Nicholas!
Tonight we watched the Video Tribute that was played during the Memorial Service. Although this video tribute is not currently accessible online, you can hear all of the songs in order via www.nicolascolbyfund.org, clicking on Sound Tracks, and clicking on each of the 9 songs from The Loving Tribute To Nicholas.
"BY HEART," SONG BY JIM BRICKMAN (pianist)
Hold me close, baby please
Tell me anything but that you're gonna leave
As I kiss this fallen tear
I promise you I will be here
Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart
When you go, I'll stop the clock
I won't ever let this moment stop
Time is stealing you from me
But it can never take this memory
Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart.
________________________________________
Saturday, February 24, 2007 11:59 PM CST
9 MONTHS AGO
Tomorrow (Sunday, February 25, 2007) it will be 9 months that Nicholas has been in Heaven. Once again we trust God's love to unquestionably do what God said He would do-love. And with love, we just know…
Thinking about and listening to the songs that make up the Video Tribute played during the Memorial Service ALONG WITH those sang during the Memorial Service and Celebration of Life, the titles alone provide a warm, loving, inspirational message: Nicholas' Song of Love…If I Can Help Somebody…Held…For Good…Step In The Name Of Love…You'll Be In My Heart…Beautiful Soul…Beautiful…Never Gone…Old Friends…Joy…Count It All Joy. (All the songs are accessible via www.nicolascolbyfund.org, clicking on Sound Tracks, and clicking on the song you want to hear.)
It is still not easier, getting through each day and night, although it continues to become different each day and night. Becoming "different" is not bad but it is not great either. This is hard for us to understand and certainly hard to explain. However, we do trust and love God knowing he will "make a way" for us. Following is an excerpt from the song, God Will Make A Way (By Integrity Music-Songs Of Hope):
God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for me.
He will be my guide,
Hold me close to His side.
With love and strength for each new day,
He will make a way.
TONIGHT: A MESSAGE DAD RECEIVED (last night we posted a similar poem mom received)
Following is an excerpt from the September 30, 2006 journal providing a message dad received from a friend. And the Home Page picture above of Nicholas & dad…the beauty of two hearts and souls forever together…is from the first album below under Links.
"I looked at the web sites and read and felt his life. My heart is full as I think of what you and your family have been going through. I looked high and low for a card and just couldn't find anything that said what I thought I may want to hear in your situation. So I took to (my) thoughts to see if there was something I would want to hear...and what I heard was a little boy named Nicholas who I did not know but who simply said:
'When they gave me a choice to pick out my dad I picked you.
When God asked me where I'd like to live I told Him I wanted to live with you.
When asked who do you want to teach you things I smiled and pointed to you.
Everyone knew I was happy, they could see it in my eyes...I was very happy.
When they asked me what I'd like to say I simply smiled and said I know your sad dad and I know you miss me, when you're still and you fill the wind across your face that will be me.
Know there are blessings in the wind, there are blessings in my passing like the day I'll see you again. Dad (and mom) I love you!'"
________________________________________
Friday, February 23, 2007 11:59 PM CST
SCHOLAR AND A COACH?
Mom has been the scholar, while dad has been the coach, during the leukemia journey and now. Mom read virtually every book that surfaced on leukemia enabling her to be more than be informed-to understand that which was known, and to help determine that which could be known medically to help moving forward. And dad directed how Nicholas and our family were going to be during the journey-not knowing what God's plans were, however, knowing that God's omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience were certainly laying out illuminating-streets of gold and beautifully-bursting rainbows along the way.
We think about poems and messages we have received from family and friends along the way. And many of them remind us that God so loves us all that, to us, he chose Nicholas for us and chose us for Nicholas. We like to think that Nicholas happily chose us as well. Nicholas made us happy and makes us happy today knowing that, Nicholas, we do not have to see you to know you are here.
TONIGHT: A POEM MOM RECEIVED (tomorrow night we will post a similar message dad received)
Following is a poem mom received that has the picture of Nicholas & mom as a watermark…the beauty of the setting sun and love's forever glow. (Home Page picture above from the first album below under Links):
Sweet little one… (Nicholas Colby Gilbert)
"I believe that our sweet little ones that we birth actually choose us.
They stand in heaven with the angels until they can stand here on earth among us.
All that I am, is only that much more wonderful because you chose me to be your mother.
When you stood there next to God and said 'I choose no other.'
From the beginning you've been a miracle that was so remarkably created.
Bringing me this feeling of purity, peacefulness, and leaving me elated.
In an instance, my life began a new path as your life began to grow.
Within my womb and my heart, from inside and out, you've made me glow.
I carried you inside protected from all that could bring you harm.
Til' the day you came to be placed within my protecting arms…
With each day we shared together my love grew deeper.
I kissed away your tears from each scrape, bruise and fever.
Doing what I could to heal you with a mother's loving hand.
I have fed your heart with the love from mine unconditionally and without demand.
I feel your smile even when you're not visible nor near.
I can see your pain when you're crying even though I may not hear.
Your laughter sings out so clearly inside of my heart.
Even if for now in this moment we may be apart.
I taught you the simplicities in life that you would need.
But I have learned so much more from you, I can say that indeed.
Every minute I cherish and I know that with every breath I take I am thankful for your love, which I shall never forsake.
I can not fathom for a moment why you had to endure what you've gone thru.
How someone so remarkable like you has had to do.
If I could have replaced all those things that brought you pain and left you feeling sad.
Please know that…hesitation is never a thought I have ever had.
I know that through out the rest of my days,
You will be the sunlight that shines my way.
I will rejoice in the happiness and pride you've always given to me.
Just for being here on earth and choosing me.
So to you my sweet little one…
Fly amongst the angels but once again.
As I shall never set you free from my heart…love your mother (and father), love your friend."
(Angel 2006 by Angela M Ortiz-Alexander)
________________________________________
Thursday, February 22, 2007 11:59 PM CST
SEARCHING, PRAYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS WE FEEL
It is extremely hard to respond to questions saying we are "okay" or we are "fine." And, at the same time we also feel God's loving presence along with Nicholas' loving presence. We are surrounded with blessings!
We have said before that our hearts are comforted knowing the wonderful, embracing relationship Nicholas had-and has-with God. These realizations coupled with believing and trusting God, thankfully, are providing us with many warm layers of love that soothes our hearts and souls. And, it is not blindly just believing and trusting…we have seen God's love surround Nicholas, especially during Nicholas' leukemia journey, and seen love flow to and from Nicholas in the midst of that journey.
So while it is hard to say we are "okay" or "fine," we just know that Nicholas is loved even more today and that is more than okay or fine. We are thankful for love and we are thankful, always loving Nicholas and feeling Nicholas loving us as well as his spirit & legacy sharing love through The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children.
________________________________________
Wednesday, February 21, 2007 11:59 PM CST
ANOTHER NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® EXPERIENCE BEING ADDED FOR MARCH
We are adding a third Disney on Ice experience in addition to the February 28 and March 1, 2007 experiences being provided for Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (LPCH) and Children's Hospital Oakland (CHO), respectively. To date we have primarily focused on delivering Nicholas Colby Fund experiences toward Helping Children Be Children for patients from the two Bay Area children's hospitals above where Nicholas was a patient (although we have included patients from other hospitals as well as the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital).
We are now working to establish relationships with the University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital that are similar to those at LPCH and CHO. To begin, we are offering a March 2007 Disney on Ice experience for their patients.
BY THE WAY
Referring to the February 19, 2007 journal regarding The Wiggles March 12 experience, the tickets to the event were donated by the parents of the little boy that Nicholas gave his teddy bear to when Nicholas was at Children's Hospital Oakland. As we have been saying, love begetting love! (Giving of his teddy bear took place early in Nicholas' leukemia journey; however, we talked about it in the August 10, 2006 journal entry.)
________________________________________
Tuesday, February 20, 2007 11:00 PM CST
STOP…LOOK…LISTEN
Today and tonight the words "stop, look, and listen" were very helpful toward getting through the day in a better way. And as 9 months in Heaven approaches (2/25/07), we continually trust Nicholas is "playing and having fun" with Jesus and in God's arms.
It was about 5 months ago we talked about stop, look, and listen and following is what we said then and say tonight that reminds us to "just know…"
We remember, when we were kids, the words "stop, look, and listen." We think about these words now because when we "stop," "look," and "listen" during everything in our lives we can "see" and "hear" the joy that nothing can take away from us. It is joy unmistakably given to us by God…the joy of Nicholas that is never gone, never far, and forever in our hearts and souls. It is the joy of our other three boys…the joy of family, friends/neighbors/colleagues, and those who continually show up in our lives and become friends.
As we write this journal, in the moment we "stopped" and "listened" to the joy in our hearts because of God. In doing so we were reminded-thank you Father, God-of a video we took of Nicholas on April 9, 2006…he was playing on his laptop and interacting with a safety program. The program he was interacting prompted Nicholas to sing to it (and that is when we grabbed the video camera and videotaped him singing): "…stop, look, and listen…you don't know what you are missing…" And the genuine singing of the words, swaying of his arms/hands, and movement of his lips, his eyes, his head told us that he was happy and full of joy (in spite of all the leukemia and bone marrow stuff).
________________________________________
Monday, February 19, 2007 11:11 PM CST
KITES AND FLAGS
Relaxing day, and as always, coupled with loving our three older sons we were loving Nicholas so very close to our hearts.
KITES…This evening there was yet again, another beautiful surprise left for Nicholas at the Oakmont Memorial Park site. It was a SpiderMan kite tied around the bench on his site (please click on View Photos although the kite is not in the picture you will see of the bench and a portion of his site). Although the handle and string were tied onto the leg of the bench, the kite was fluttering in the air with the breeze. What a treat, Nicholas just knows that he is so loved. Thank you!
FLAGS…Many of you know that we decorate Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park for holidays and seasons. Today we took down the Valentine's Day decorations and will be preparing for St. Patrick's Day. Did you see the picture of the Valentine's Day flag that was hanging over the flat marker at the Oakmont Memorial Park site? (It is on the Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 album.) Today we placed a sports flag in its place: basketball, football, baseball, and soccer collage. Up next will be a St. Patrick's Day flag, followed by Easter, Butterflies, and Popsicles. Then Sail Boats, Fourth of July (Independence Day), Fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and Nicholas' birthday (January 27).
UPCOMING NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCES THAT ARE SCHEDULED
- February 28, 2007 Disney on Ice (A Disneyland Adventure): A suite at Oracle Arena will be filled with patients, and their families, from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital.
- March 1, 2007 Disney On Ice (A Disneyland Adventure): A suite at Oracle Arena will be filled with patients, and their families, from Children's Hospital Oakland.
- March 12, 2007 The Wiggles (Racing To The Rainbow Live!): A Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital patient and family will enjoy these children entertainers that have rewritten the book about how children can be entertained with song and dance.
________________________________________
Sunday, February 18, 2007 11:59 PM CST
VIDEO AT THE VIEWING SERVICE
Following is the web address to view and hear the June 1, 2006 Viewing Service video that was playing at Oakmont Memorial Park the night before the Memorial and the Celebration of Life services held on June 2, 2006. This video primarily shows Nicholas & family members, captions, and includes quiet music enabling soothing reflection moments. Please copy and paste the following address into your browser:
- www.mem.com/display/Tributes.asp?ID=1378014
- Select "Movie" under the menu bar on the right side of the page
- Turn your PC speakers on and you will then hear, see and have another opportunity to reflect on the love surrounding Nicholas
(This video is not the Video Tribute that was shown during the June 2, 2006 Memorial Service.)
LINKS
Remember, referring to the "Links" section toward the bottom of the Home Page, below "Hospital Information," you can click on any one of the photo albums to view LOVE SURROUNDING Nicholas before the leukemia diagnosis, during treatment, and leading up to the bone marrow transplant & beyond. Love begetting love…
OTHER ONLINE PHOTO ALBUMS
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Saturday, February 17, 2007 11:57 PM CST
TREATS FOR PATIENTS TODAY
It was dad's birthday today and we remember how Nicholas liked to give to others on his birthday, so mom had an idea to give some more treats to LPCH patients today as we were in route to Capitola. The treats: Sees Candies' lollipops, peppermint sticks, and some bubbles to blow either in their room, inside the hospital, or out on the patio of the hospital.
(The picture above was two years ago when Nicholas was singing Happy Birthday and combined a kiss with a smile.)
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Friday, February 16, 2007 10:23 PM CST
NO JOURNALS PLANNED FOR THIS WEEKEND
Thanks for staying with us and being directly or indirectly part of The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children.
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Thursday, February 15, 2007 11:24 PM CST
ANOTHER NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCE, ANOTHER HOLIDAY WEEKEND, AND ANOTHER DAY…
This coming Saturday night The Nicholas Colby Fund will have patients and their families at the Oracle Arena to enjoy FREESTYLE MOTOCROSS. Another experience, another holiday weekend, and another day for all of us to make the most of our time with family & friends.
Following Saturday night's Nicholas Colby Fund experience for patients, on February 28, 2007 and March 1, 2007 we are filling our suite at the Oracle Arena for DISNEY ON ICE to be experienced by Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital and Children's Hospital Oakland patients, respectively. Helping Children Be Children.
________________________________________
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 11:59 PM CST
TOUCHES OF LOVE
Touches of love tonight came from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (LPCH) and Children's Hospital Oakland (CHO):
- After dinner at Nicholas favorite Japanese restaurant, Blue Ginko, we went to a movie called Music & Lyrics because it had the flavor of the meaning of Valentine as we described in last night's journal. The touch of love from CHO came right before the movie started. As we sat down, sitting next to us was one of Nicholas nurses from CHO, Allison. We shared warm, loving memories and current thoughts of Nicholas' love and our love for Nicholas
- From LPCH we had an opportunity to talk with some of the nurses over the telephone. We reflected on Nicholas and the loving, engaging way he and the nurses truly shared love. These are other examples of knowing Nicholas was blessed…loving relationships that are with him forever.
- The Nicholas Colby Fund delivered pizza to patients, their families, and the medical staff tonight. All part of Helping Children Be Children on this Valentine's Day.
- And two surprises came to our front door today. First, this morning Nicholas' teacher left a beautiful flower arrangement and cards for Sheila; thank you. Second, sometime early evening SOMEONE left two wonderful thoughts at the door: thoughts of love and how love never ends. We do not know who, but we know love grows and grows…thank you for helping love to grow stronger.
…ALL YEAR LONG
Remember when we wrote about wishing it could be Christmas all year long because of the wonderful spirit of sharing, giving, loving…expressed by virtually everyone? (December 12, 2006, February 14, 2006, and December 11, 2005 to name few journal entries.) And remember how we feel that it can be and this notion is part of Nicholas' legacy. Well, like Christmas, we wish it could be Valentine's Day all year long. It can be and it will be in our way through The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children.
________________________________________
Tuesday, February 13, 2007 11:06 PM CST
NICHOLAS, OUR LOVE, YOU STILL HAVE OUR HEART-HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY SON
"My Valentine" (By Martina McBride)
If there were no words, no way to speak, I would still hear you.
If there were no tears, no way to feel inside, I'd still feel for you.
And even if the sun refused to shine, even if romance ran out of rhyme,
You would still have my heart until the end of time.
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine.
All of my life I have been waiting for, all you give to me.
You've opened my eyes and showed me how to love unselfishly.
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before, in my dreams I couldn't love you more.
I will give you my heart until the end of time.
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine.
WHAT IS SAID ABOUT VALENTINE'S DAY
Although many facts about the namesake for Valentine's Day are "clouded," the stories certainly emphasize the namesake as sympathetic, heroic, and romantic. Nicholas is our Valentine who is forever our loving hero understanding that God loves us and that is all we need. Nicholas and his spirit vibrantly live on through his legacy of love, hope, trust, caring, giving, and sensitivity. The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children. Nicholas is our Valentine!
LOVING TESTAMENT FROM THE MOTHER OF THE BOY AND HIS FAMILY SENT TO DISNEYLAND
Please click on View Guestbook to read a February 13, 2007 loving testament as told through one of the social workers at Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital.
REMEMBER
- Click on View Photos to see a different picture of Nicholas' site, and Nicholas during Valentine's Day last year and the year before.
- All of the 1st quarter 2007 experiences to date for children are in The Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 album:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Monday, February 12, 2007 11:02 PM CST
THE CONNECTION OF LOVE
As Valentine's Day approaches we think about love in general, we think about Nicholas, and we think about what we have experienced with Nicholas throughout his leukemia journey. We also think about what has been generated through The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children that lets us know that Nicholas is truly never gone, never far. What we have realized, we have talked about on virtually every journal entry: love begetting love.
NICHOLAS: We are so comforted knowing Nicholas knew love every day, felt love every day, and knows love better than any of us today.
YOU: And we are so fortunate to have all of you directly and indirectly helping The Nicholas Colby Fund, generate love begetting love for so many patients and their families who have not had many recent opportunities to smile.
REMEMBER
All of the 1st quarter 2007 experiences to date for children are in The Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 album:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
Click on View Photos to see three pictures, including Nicholas during Valentine's Day last year and the year before.
________________________________________
Sunday, February 11, 2007 11:14 PM CST
***Amazing Pictures***
NICHOLAS "PLAYING AND HAVING FUN" WITH JESUS AND IN GOD'S ARMS
Did you see the squirrel "playing and having fun" on Nicholas' site in the Home Page picture above? And did you see the angel, daffodils, and the heart at Nicholas' site in the 1st of 3 pictures under View Photos (by clicking View Photos above)? Our ANGEL Nicholas likes DAFFODILS and he / we just know that we are forever in each others' HEART.
And did you see the picture of Nicholas at Valentine's Day last year and the year before, the 2nd and 3rd photos under View Photos? Love grows and Nicholas continues to help us grow in many loving ways each day.
A BEAUTIFUL CONNECTION
Through God and with Jesus, our sweet…precious…angel Nicholas is an inspiration for love and life. This evening a family friend, Dave, reminded me of a passage in Philippians (2: 1 - 4) as we talked about what Nicholas always did and what The Nicholas Colby Fund is doing:
"Does your life in Christ give you strength? Does His love comfort you? Do we share together in the spirit? Do you have mercy and kindness? If so, make me very happy by having the same thoughts, sharing the same love, and having one mind and purpose. When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others."
REMEMBER
All of the 1st quarter 2007 experiences to date for children are in The Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 album:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Saturday, February 10, 2007 11:02 PM CST
RAINY DAY, TEARS, SMILES, AND SOME LAUGHTER
Nicholas, Christopher, Timothy, Matthew-all of our boys-were on our minds as we watched and listened to the rain. Like most children (and some of us adults) walking, playing, and even singing in the rain are part of life adventures that are wonderful experiences and memories. Outside in the rain today, there were tears…there were smiles…and there was some laughter. It may seem as if there is a need to balance our thoughts and pain, however, for us it is easier to lean on God to guide us along the way.
REMINDER: Ballet tomorrow afternoon (Sunday) for a patient and her family through The Nicholas Colby Fund. (Please click on View Photos to see the flyer, one of 3 pictures that can be viewed immediately.)
________________________________________
Friday, February 9, 2007 11:59 PM CST
AMAZING WHAT LOVE DOES EVEN WHEN THERE IS PAIN
Tonight's Nicholas Colby Fund experience warmly touched our hearts as we saw smiles on faces and felt joy through family time together for our guests. It is simply amazing how love truly begets love even though there is constant pain in our hearts.
Remember when Nicholas said he wanted his smile back (November 18, 2006 journal under the heading: How Nicholas' Rays Of Sunshine Carried Through To May 25, 2006)? His smile caught him by surprise as he began to play and have fun. Seeing the smiles tonight reminded us of Nicholas' amazing smile and constant love from God, from Nicholas, from us to Nicholas, from you to Nicholas and us…love begetting love.
PICTURES from tonight's experience are on The Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 album: www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Thursday, February 8, 2007 11:59 PM CST
NICHOLAS AND HIS LEGACY: THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND®
The Nicholas Colby Fund logo was designed and developed by Albert Treskin (from the state of Washington) through the support of Virginia Vovchuk of the California State Automobile Association's (AAA) creative services department. Our collaboration resulted in Nicholas's signature red balloon as a focal point of the logo.
It is nice to have been hearing that the logo beautifully reflects Nicholas and his legacy of love, hope, trust, caring, giving, and sensitivity. Nicholas' spirit, and so much more, vibrantly lives on as we focus on Helping Children Be Children-uplifting their spirits and creating lasting memories of happiness.
TOMORROW WILL BE A VERY SPECIAL NIGHT FOR A FATHER AND HIS CHILDREN
Tomorrow night (Friday) a father and his four boys will experience a great time out at a Warriors' professional basketball game via The Nicholas Colby Fund-no medical worries tonight for the father or for 2 of the four children as they embrace a family evening out together focusing on fun.
SUNDAY AFTERNOON WILL BE A CHARMING EXPERIENCE FOR A CHILD AND HER FAMILY
Sunday The Nicholas Colby Fund has a patient and her family experiencing ballet at the San Francisco War Memorial Opera House. The music, scenery, stories, and choreography as the dancers seemingly ignoring the law of gravity gliding, spinning, and floating through the air in long, slow leaps should delight this child and her family.
________________________________________
Wednesday, February 7, 2007 11:59 PM CST
THEY ARE GOING TO DISNEYLAND
In the February 1, 2007 journal we talked about a situation helping a patient and his family get to / from Disneyland. The Nicholas Colby Fund was contacted and we have arranged the transportation. This family leaves for Disneyland tomorrow (Thursday) and meeting the mother tonight we learned that it would be the first time this large family will be on a trip together. Helping Children Be Children and families enjoy time together is what Nicholas always did for others around him and for us (even though he was a child himself) and what he continues to do. And we thank all of you, too!
Nicholas knew he was loved and we trust and believe God's love. EVERYDAY is a day our family loves Nicholas more. Love begetting love…all the actions The Nicholas Colby Fund takes and create are launched from love. We trust and believe love begets love and that Nicholas is wonderfully experiencing "The Next Place," referring to the Warren Hanson book we read to Nicholas on May 25, 2006. Following are excerpts from that book that are on the back of Nicholas' standing marker at Oakmont Memorial Park:
"I'll glide beyond the rainbows. I'll drift above the sky. I'll fly into the wonder, without ever wondering why.
"I'll never be alone; I'll be embraced by all the family and friends I've ever known. Although I might not see their faces, all our hearts will beat as one. And the circle of our spirits will shine brighter than the sun.
"I'll have the love of those who loved me, and the warmth of those who cared…the happiness and memories and magic that we shared. I will cherish all the friendships I was fortunate to find, all the love and all the laughter in the place I leave behind. All these good things will go with me; they will make my spirit glow. And the light will shine forever in the next place that I go."
- All the words from the book are in the May 26, 2006 journal, under Journal History, and it has been comforting having the book to see the amazing, colorful illustrations and to feel the words warm our hearts as well as bring loving tears to our eyes.
- Pictures can be seen in the small Nicholas Colby Fund Begins album:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
________________________________________
Tuesday, February 6, 2007 11:59 PM CST
SOME DAYS…
Well, days have not gotten easier although they continue to be very different in terms of what we expect and how we expect to get through the days. Of course, we KNOW that God's perfection surrounds and provides for Nicholas and we trust and believe Nicholas is freely, joyfully playing and having fun. Thinking about the tougher days we thought about How We Are Doing scales we began to provide after Nicholas ascended to Heaven.
HOW WE ARE DOING TODAY
The "faces pain scale" measuring pain intensity from no pain (0) to excruciating pain (10) for a 0, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 scale, modified to capture several dimensions for an overall view instead of just the correlation of 0 - 10 for pain.
- Scale A for views 1 - 4: Uses a smiling face, no expression, and sad face.
- Scale B for views 5 - 6: Uses the above 0 - 10 measurements.
1) Our outlook with God as our guide, shield, protector, teacher, spirit, love… (smiling)
2) Trusting, believing, knowing Nicholas is loved by God so there is nothing that he is lacking… (smiling)
3) Love to/from our other boys, family, friends… (smiling)
4) Source of love and support (smiling)
5) Difficulty getting through the day (4)
6) Pain in our hearts, stomachs… (6)
NOTE: The August 5, 2006 journal provides foundational information about these scales.
EVERYDAY…
And everyday we continue to focus on being the best we can for ourselves, for all of our boys-of course including Nicholas, and for the Nicholas Colby Fund-Helping Children Be Children.
________________________________________
Monday, February 5, 2007 10:49 PM CST
CASCADING LOVE
We are here with just love to share today. Love acts without being asked…love experiences love…and even without specific things shared on a journal, like today, The Nicholas Colby Fund is taking action to deliver experiences of love for children and their families. Because Nicholas was always caring and giving.
________________________________________
Sunday, February 4, 2007 10:55 PM CST
QUIET DAY…SOOTHING SIGHTS AND SOUNDS
Time today was spent strolling Orchard Nursery, a couple small gift-boutique stores, and Diablo Foods to pick up items for a charming dinner. Our older boys were with respective friends at Super Bowl parties. As we strolled…we thought about our older boys when they were little boys, Nicholas as our precious little boy, and how all of our "little" boys enjoyed strolling shops with us.
Nicholas really liked Orchard Nursery. Well, primarily he seemed to like seeing the fish and turtles in the ponds; and he liked to splash in the water running off from plants. These are some of the reasons why decorating Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, his birthday (January 27), and now Valentine's Day…we shopped at Orchard Nursery where Nicholas would expect us to be. We are very thankful for connections-our older boys like to shop Orchard Nursery for special occasions as well.
VALENTINE'S DAY APPROACHES
As we decorated Nicholas' site this afternoon for Valentine's Day, the weather and scenery were perfectly harmonious. Not surprising there were birds flying around and hawks soaring over the canyon between the ridge where Nicholas' site is and the Briones Regional Park behind the site. After decorating, some yard-garden type work, and a serene visit at the site…a flock of little birds continued their chirping and began flying onto and off the site. It was just like they were "playing and having fun" with Nicholas…who is always with us…never gone, never far.
PHOTOS of Nicholas' site decorated for Valentine's Day are on the Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007 album (all addresses to access Nicholas Colby Fund albums are above under CURRENT PICTURES):
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN
We hope the spirits of children who have experienced Nicholas Colby Fund events continually are lifted in love thinking about their experience (we have heard from LPCH that one precious girl continues to animatedly talk about her time with us and the Warriors). We trust love will be there for those children who will soon experience a Nicholas Colby Fund event (we have heard that one little boy has marked his calendar for Disney on Ice). And we believe all of you know that you are helping us help all of these beautiful children (your stories help Nicholas' story to continue…)
WE HOPE, TRUST, AND BELIEVE YOU WILL HAVE A LOVING WEEK!
________________________________________
Saturday, February 3, 2007 11:59 PM CST
SURROUNED BY FAMILY, COLLEAGUES, FRIEND FROM CAMP OKIZU…NICHOLAS
Talking with our boys in the morning, BBQ this afternoon with colleagues and their families in St. Helena, talking with our boys this evening…and a surprise tonight at the movie theater.
Mom & dad went to the movies tonight and inside the theater we spotted a familiar face associated with Nicholas' journey. I knew the connection was with Nicholas but not sure from where or what part of the journey. On our way out of theater, I saw the lady who had already left the theater (walking outside). After pointing her out to Sheila, Sheila instantly recognized the lady-a mother whose son also passed away-from being one of the mothers at Camp Okizu (referring to the September 12 - 17, 2006 journal entries). We caught up with the lady and had a heart, warming conversation with tears and the joy of love begetting love. It was a nice surprise as we talked about her precious son, Liam, and our sweet, precious Nicholas.
Talking with our boys and a family friend late tonight rounded out our day…another day of missing Nicholas so very much…and another day loving Nicholas so very much knowing that Nicholas "just knows". Thank you God!
PHOTOS
The photo above on the Home Page announces the upcoming February 11 ballet for patients through The Nicholas Colby Fund, and the three photos under View Photos share more. Remember the three (to date) Nicholas Colby Fund photo albums: Nicholas Colby Fund Begins, Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006, and Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007? The links to copy and paste onto your browser are on the top portion of the Home Page, under a heading called CURRENT PICTURES that is above the daily journal.
NOTE: These three (to date) photo albums are different from the three photo albums under "Links" that are toward the bottom of the Home Page.
THANK YOU
We say, Thank you!, again because we are very thankful for your love of Nicholas, for our family, and for The Nicholas Colby Fund.
________________________________________
Friday, February 2, 2007 11:59 PM CST
HELPING IS SO FITTING FOR A "KING"
A few times when Nicholas was in the hospital and there was a special activity going on in one of his three brothers' lives, he would say, "It's okay to go see the other boys, they are your son's too!" While we never, ever left Nicholas' side during the leukemia journey, there were times dad / couple times mom left the hospital or the Ronald McDonald House to spend some time with our older boys (16, 12, and 10 years older than Nicholas). But one of us was ALWAYS with Nicholas.
Nicholas was always so unselfish even though he was going through a life-threatening journey. He was always amazingly caring and so giving of his love, his time, and his things toward helping to make others happy.
You probably remember many journal entries and guestbook entries recounting Nicholas' amazing spirit and touch. As we think about all of Nicholas' beautiful ways…The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children is truly a legacy that embodies Nicholas and God's spirit & love.
We hope you have a loving, caring weekend!
________________________________________
Thursday, February 1, 2007 11:05 PM CST
CIRCLE OF LOVE
When you love someone, you help someone. When you know a child is in need, you find a way to help.
Although we have just shared (January 31 and 23 journal entries) with you the action The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children is taking in February-with your help and contributions-the nature of help for many of these beautiful children is determined in the moment as things and prognosis change. We were contacted a few days ago regarding a changed prognosis…and similar to finding ways through God to help Nicholas "live" everyday of the journey…The Nicholas Colby Fund will be able to help another family be together one more day as we help "this" child and his family with transportation to / from Disneyland.
As another month begins, there is more action Helping Children Be Children to take. We know there is more hope to inspire through love. Nicholas, son, you inspire us every moment through your love that helps us to do what we do as we love and trust God. Thank you, everyone, for we believe there is something very special that brought Nicholas into our lives, love into our hearts in ways we have not experienced, and help in our ways that generate smiles and happiness enabling all of these beautiful children to have a loving experience one more day-moments of love begetting love.
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
Wednesday, January 31, 2007 11:48 PM CST
FEBRUARY NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® EXPERIENCES
The January 23, 2007 journal entry (under Journal History) outlines the upcoming February Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children experiences…beginning this coming Saturday night. From professional bull riding, Warriors' professional basketball, San Francisco ballet, freestyle motocross, and Disney On Ice…patients from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, Children's Hospital Oakland, and a patient desiring a special time with his boys are positioned to deliver fun & love. (Please see the flyer above on this Home Page and two of the other flyers under View Photos.)
THREE NICE THINGS TODAY:
- Deer perched right behind Nicholas' spot…how simply beautiful…present very touching creations of love reminding us that there is no question God's love is more than providing for Nicholas and all the beautiful children with and around Nicholas.
- The haze with a soft-glowing sun just above the hills of Briones Regional Park behind Nicholas' spot was a simple, yet majestic wonder. As we still do wonder why Nicholas is no longer physically with us, we know God is God…children are God's children…and God's children are loved and receiving all of love's attributes so nothing should we fear.
- The last few weeks there has been a little bird (white and black in color) on the slope and fence on Nicholas' spot connecting to the Briones Regional Park. For us, these experiences are more moments of love comforting our hearts & souls.
________________________________________
Tuesday, January 30, 2007 10:30 PM CST
RELATIONSHIPS
Cards, telephone calls, and guestbook entries from hospital staff at The Children's Hospital Denver, Stanford-LPCH, and Children's Hospital Oakland are very, very nice. It is obvious that through talking with the staff, our conversations of friendship have been born from the love they developed with Nicholas.
Soon we will be sharing information with you about a little girl from Denver we never met that is in Heaven. However, through mutual relationships we have been talking with her parents about a collaborative effort that is all about children everywhere.
And the kids we engage with in our neighborhood, shopping, high school sporting events, and just people we have come to know along the journey…the love for Nicholas is so very strong and powerful. We hear stories about little boys and little girls who are expressing kindness in loving ways that include a story about what they have learned from Nicholas. We see the joy in their parents eyes and feel it in their hearts, as the gift of love unfolds in all of our hearts.
We know there are other beautiful angels who help others along the way…and we know that Nicholas is our angel that continually helps us everyday.
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Monday, January 29, 2007 11:59 PM CST
AS JANUARY COMES TO AN END A NEW MONTH BEGINS WITH HOPE OF EVER-INCREASING MOMENTS OF JOYOUS REFLECTIONS AND NEWFOUND JOY
Tonight the moon's illumination and stars in the sky provided a sense of ahh as we prayed and talked with Nicholas in prayer. And the moonlight created soothing shadows and brilliant glows at Nicholas' site.
Thinking about our conversations and prayers with Nicholas before the leukemia journey and during the leukemia journey, we are so glad to know that he loved and trusted God's love. Nicholas FELT love; KNEW love; and REALIZED love in thought, prayer, and in all aspect of our lives. With so much love from us and all of you…Nicholas LIVED…everyday with love he realized through knowing and feeling it in all aspects of his life. At home, at school, in the neighborhood, at church, through our work, at Children's Hospital Oakland, at Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, at The Children's Hospital Denver…and everywhere he went on outings, vacation, and just "playing and having fun" Nicholas realized love.
How comforting it is to know now the omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence of what we have always seen, Nicholas turning to God in all aspects of his life, that surely are "showing" Nicholas all of their truths. And God must also be showering Nicholas with love that Nicholas can see!
- Speaking of showers, Nicholas loved to take showers as seen in the 11/9/05 photo in the third album below, under Links, called "Day 132 leading to BMT and current pictures".
- And speaking of praying and knowing that he was loved, Nicholas really liked reading his Children's Bible and having it read to him as well as reading and having many books read to him (A: As seen in the 2/22/05 and 3/7/05 photos in the second album below, under Links, called "Day 80 - 131 before the BMT"; and B: As seen in the 4/9/05, 6/12/05, 11/6/05, 1/17/06, 1/26/06, and 2/21/06 photos also in the third album below, under Links).
________________________________________
Sunday, January 28, 2007 10:25 PM CST
THANK YOU
Thank you all for your wishes and actions helping to provide us (and others) with a level of comfort on Nicholas' birthday, Saturday. Nicholas was always about action in fun and / or helpful ways for others. Nicholas' actions and your actions are what makes The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children an "action-based organization" enabling love begetting love to be experienced and seen.
TODAY
After an emotional birthday and Nicholas Colby Fund experience last night, today was a day for quiet and reflection. We thought a lot about the last few days, specifically the last few journals (Saturday, Friday, and Thursday), and are grateful that our other three boys can help us-with others-get through the days and with The Nicholas Colby Fund.
Following are common reminders to us of Nicholas' love:
- Nicholas' signature red balloon that he painted and appearance used on The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children logo (Please see the "Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007" album, link below, to view Nicholas' balloon in flight)
- Love begetting love (Connecting everyone near & far and who directly & indirectly help us do what we do-THANK YOU)
- Never gone - never far (Well, you know the loving meaning of this phrase)
- "…" six dots "…" (We have generally used surrounding comments associated with The Nicholas Colby Fund in reference to Nicholas ascending to Heaven at age 6)
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Saturday, January 27, 2007 11:59 PM CST
***HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICHOLAS***
LOVINGLY NEVER LETTING GO
The song, My Heart Will Go On, by Celine Dion from the movie Titanic that was on last night's journal for today-Nicholas' 7th birthday-was heard two days ago while talking with a friend at work. We were talking about business and when the song came on our hearts began to beat in way that transcended our hearts to talk about Nicholas.
It is so wonderfully amazing to be able to always think about Nicholas in so many warm, beautiful ways that lets us know that through God…our hearts go on and Nicholas lives on in Heaven. Thinking about God's constant presence in our lives-especially Nicholas' that is now with God-many of our journals during Nicholas' leukemia journey and today echo God's graces in front of our lives, behind our lives, beside our lives, and within our lives. The words in the journals, the songs, the prayers, and the hymns blend lives with love helping us to softly go on with our lives.
Speaking of the words that are only a "touch" of what we feel…they too tell a story of God's magnificent touch, His comfort, His "pat" (remember how Nicholas loved to be patted) that lets us know we are loved and Nicholas is surrounded by love as he walks, plays, and runs "on streets of gold!" (Remember the song, If You Could See Me Now, on the July 31, 2006 journal?)
As we "read" the words to the song, My Heart Goes On, we can see so many wonderful touches of our lives that are because of Nicholas' love…because of God's love. As we read, we cry…as we cry, we lovingly sing to God…as we sing to God, we hold Nicholas so close and "pat" him just the way he likes. Every verse of the song resonates within our hearts, within our souls, and every aspect of our lives.
The hole in our hearts-while piercingly painful-love (God and Nicholas) lets us know that "…love can touch us one time, and last for a lifetime, and never let go…"
TODAY
We woke this morning to another beautiful surprise through a "ringing" message to check the front porch. On a morning that brought a "different" kind of pain along with knowing love goes on, thoughts and acts of love equally let us know that Nicholas is never gone, never far ("…far across the distance, and spaces between us, you have come to show you go on…"). Hot morning drinks and pastries greeted us at our doorstep along with a small box with a bracelet & message: Love, Remember, Forever…
Remember loved ones never leave
They are forever near
For their love lives on in memories
Our hearts hold dear
BALLOONS, BEAUTIFUL ("Baby, I love you!")
NICHOLAS' OAKMONT SITE: "Love" CAN touch us one time, and last for a lifetime. A mother's love, a brother's hand, all of our family, and all the friendships Nicholas was fortunate to find...are with him forever. From this place he left behind (physically) and into Heaven where God's wonder is magnified…Nicholas touch is felt everywhere.
WARRIORS LOVING MESSAGE TO OUR WARRIOR-NICHOLAS: The Warriors' scoreboard message (for Nicholas) tonight was tearfully joyous. And Thunder (the Warriors' mascot) playing and having fun with Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital patients & siblings enhanced a great time out via The Nicholas Colby Fund.
Please:
- Click on View Photos above (or just below to your right next to the "camera icon") to quickly see 3 pictures of what is described two paragraphs above under "Balloons, Beautiful" and preceding "Nicholas' Oakmont Site"
- Copy and paste the following link to the "Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007" into your browser to see all PICTURES from today and tonight-including Nicholas' signature red balloon take flight…
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Friday, January 26, 2007 10:47 PM CST
TOMORROW IS NICHOLAS' BIRTHDAY AND WE JUST KNOW…
We just know that the greatness of God is treating Nicholas to a beautiful, fun, happy, pre-birthday preparing for an amazing birthday tomorrow (Saturday). The rainbows, the pots of gold, the change ("All the change, the dollars, the fives, the tens…the hundreds, all of them!" as Nicholas would say), the caring, the giving, everything precious and loving. Nicholas is a treasure that continues to give to all of us-thank you for your telephone calls, your emails, the flowers, the cards, the thoughts & prayers…the everything that you all do for Nicholas, for love, for caring & giving. And your guestbook entries are a treasure in many ways now and the future, thank you!
From the moment we saw Nicholas we knew there was something about him, from the moment we looked into his eyes there was something special that beautifully blended our family. That special look and passion Nicholas transcended to our larger family, friends, and those who would become friends (and continue to do so even today). All of the children and their families from his Montessori school in Lafayette, all of the families who came to know Nicholas from church in Moraga, all of the friendships because of you and those you connect with…
BALLOONS
We have a touching, loving treat for Nicholas tomorrow at his Oakmont Memorial Park site that will transcend to the king who is with the King. We will share information and pictures about the treat tomorrow.
A CELEBRATION TOMORROW NIGHT WITH THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS
Remember, at the Warriors' game tomorrow night there will be a celebration for Nicholas in the suite throughout the game, during the 1st quarter when Thunder (Nicholas' friend who lovingly played with Nicholas at our home, in the hospital, and during Nicholas' Celebration of Life) pays a visit to the patients and their siblings in the suite, and at halftime when the Warriors share a message on the center court scoreboard for all to see and for all of us to just know…(please see the comments above the Home Page picture).
GOD IS GREAT, NICHOLAS IS GREAT, LOVE IS GREAT AND LOVE BEGETS LOVE
The following song, My Heart Will Go On, was heard yesterday with new meaning: For the good of Nicholas and for God's goodness, we know that Nicholas is never gone, never far...
MY HEART WILL GO ON (By Celine Dion)
Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
***You can hear it by going to several sites, including: www.ladyjayes.com/heartgoon.html***
________________________________________
Thursday, January 25, 2007 11:34 PM CST
SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL-WHAT CAME NICHOLAS' WAY TODAY
From the beautiful heartfelt guestbook messages and pictures, to what was experienced this evening at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site, today was beautiful in terms of what continues to come Nicholas' way and ubiquitous via The Nicholas Colby Fund. Yes, we are talking about "love begetting love."
As we arrived at Nicholas' Oakmont site:
- We saw that Nicholas' teacher, Ms. Shirley, had been there. Remember, the 25th of every month she has been leaving a white rose for each month since he passed onto Heaven. This evening there were 8 white roses placed below the flat memorial marker (with his picture and the words: Forever In Our Hearts And Souls"). And there were about two-dozen white roses in the in-marker vases at each side of the standing marker (with the excerpt from the book, The Next Place, engraved on the back), and one white rose lying on the top of the marker. NOTE: The deer will have a special treat tonight!
Accessing the Nicholas Colby Fund Begins photo album you can see the markers, but not with the white roses from today because it was a rare moment we did not have our camera:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
- For candles regularly placed into the lantern on the site, another sweet person left a refillable-flexible lighter that will be very useful (especially when it is windy)
- As we were leaving, we received a beautiful surprise. Remember, there have been many people that we came to know as friends along Nicholas' journey. One of these new friends we had met at Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site as she and her kids, a few months ago, wondered who the child was that they observed many people visiting from time to time. She then began to leave Nicholas things just because and on holidays, such as November 11, 2006 on Veteran's Day when she left a note, "Happy 'Vet' Day little Nicholas" written on a Hot Wheels package containing a Corvette Hot Wheel.
So, as we were leaving she drove up with her kids and from the back of there truck pulled out a child-size wood / metal bench. It is about 3 feet wide and on a bronze plate placed into the wooden backrest of the bench the following is engraved for Nicholas and the site overlooking the Briones Regional Park:
Saint Nicholas Park Way
The Ridgetop
January 25, 2007
She said the bench and engraving is in honor of Nicholas on his 8th month in Heaven today, and his 7th birthday on January 27, 2007.
Nicholas, you are so amazing-we love you! God, thank you for comforting us and filling us with so much love-through all that you provide us there is no doubt that you are filling Nicholas with everything perfect and pure…every angelic, heavenly time frame.
________________________________________
Wednesday, January 24, 2007 10:59 PM CST
8 MONTHS AGO, 7 YEARS AGO, IN GOD'S SPEED & TIME NICHOLAS SHINES
Tomorrow (Thursday, January 25, 2007) it will be 8 months that Nicholas has been in Heaven. And with this coming Saturday being Nicholas' 7th birthday, as the guestbook entry from Cathy Charon states, celebrating Nicholas' birthday by extending Nicholas' loving arms and thoughts to others through the Nicholas Colby Fund, is so like Nicholas in terms of finding ways to help somebody (even on his birthday).
Although we are now just weeks away from fully transitioning Nicholas' website to www.nicholascolbyfund.org, in the interim you can see and hear the songs from Nicholas' Video Tribute played during the Memorial Service by accessing the site and clicking on Sound Tracks. Thinking about Nicholas' birthday, after clicking on Sound Tracks, if you click on "Step In The Name Of Love" you will hear one of the songs that Nicholas liked to dance to. He liked to sing and dance to the part that goes "step, step, side to side…" The song blends into a nice message: birthday, dancing with joy, thanks, and "I love you."
Thinking about and listening to the songs that make up the Video Tribute ALONG WITH those sang during the Memorial Service and Celebration of Life, the titles alone provide a warm, loving, inspirational message: Nicholas' Song of Love…If I Can Help Somebody…Held…For Good…Step In The Name Of Love…You'll Be In My Heart…Beautiful Soul…Beautiful…Never Gone…Old Friends…Joy…Count It All Joy. (All the songs are accessible via www.nicolascolbyfund.org, clicking on Sound Tracks, and clicking on the song you want to hear.)
As Nicholas' 8th month in Heaven arrives and 7th birthday comes upon us, what comes into view…what we see…what we focus on…and what we trust and believe God to bring to us is further knowing that Nicholas is amazingly loved. That Nicholas is full of light, "toasty" warm ("umm toasty" as Nicholas would say talking about Quiznos sandwiches), and surrounded by everything gloriously elegant and benevolent.
Son, we always celebrate you and your love with our love. Even though it is a couple days away, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, son!
-This Saturday we are celebrating your birthday at the Warriors' game via The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children. In the suite will be patient / sibling guests from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital and staff.
- During halftime the Warriors will have a special message for you on the main scoreboard high above the court ("Happy 7th Birthday to our angel, Nicholas, you are never gone - never far in our hearts and souls forever!").
***We thank all of you for thinking of Nicholas and your continued prayers and love as well as your prayers and love for all these beautiful kids. Clicking on View Photos above you can see a couple pictures of Nicholas during "one" of his birthday parties last year***
________________________________________
Tuesday, January 23, 2007 11:59 PM CST
NICHOLAS' 7TH BIRTHDAY THIS SATURDAY, JANUARY 27, 2007
Through all the joy received Helping Children Be Children, our hearts still hurt. With all the love begetting love, it is still very, very hard physically being without Nicholas. And, we are following our hearts along with hearing God's desire of us to be doing what we are doing. So we trust, believe, and pray some more feeling closer to God and Nicholas.
Nicholas, mom & dad and your brothers love you. We celebrate you everyday and on your birthday this Saturday you will feel the continuous love of so many people loving you always! We, certainly, do not have to see you to know you are here! And, God's sees you as you see Him and He makes everything just right…in God's speed now and forever.
UPCOMING NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCES (FEBRUARY / MARCH)
Nicholas loved to dress up, dress down…do things in town, out of town…experience familiar things, new things. And this is the theme for the upcoming Nicholas Colby Fund experiences for February and the beginning of March.
In the comfort of a suite, following is what is being offered and planned for patients at Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (LPCH) and Children's Hospital Oakland (CHO). Also, an experience for a family whose father and four sons are looking forward to first-ever time at a professional basketball game focusing on seeing children be children from a father's perspective and grandmother's perspective-no worries that night and hopefully the beginning of another outlook on life:
- February 3, 2007: Professional Bull Riders at Oracle Arena for patients from LPCH and CHO
- February 9, 2007: Golden State Warriors vs. Chicago Bulls (professional basketball game) at Oracle Arena for a father and his boys with the boys' grandmother seeing her son embracing the joy of fatherhood with her grandsons…and her grandsons embracing her son (their dad) focusing only on love begetting love-no medical worries tonight.
- February 11, 2007: San Francisco Ballet-mixed repertory at the War Memorial Opera House for patients from LPCH and CHO
- February 17, 2007: Freestyle Motocross at Oracle Arena for patients from LPCH and CHO
- February 28, 2007: Disney on Ice - Disney Adventure at Oracle Arena for patients from LPCH
- March 1, 2007: Disney on Ice - Disney Adventure at Oracle Arena for patients from CHO
- And, continually the "nutritional packs" are immediately available on site for every parent of a child going into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Children's Hospital Oakland
REMEMBER-3 new Nicholas Colby Fund Photo Albums
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Monday, January 22, 2007 10:24 PM CST
ANOTHER MEANING OF "NEVER GONE, NEVER FAR" COMING TO LIFE
Many of you have heard about or even felt the spirit of a loved one seemingly providing that what you may "need." We have often talked about Nicholas' spirit providing us with a sense of comfort, guidance, inspiration, love… And we-and many of you-have always known Nicholas to be: illuminating with rays of sunshine that warms your heart, enthusiasm, joy, and endless passion for caring about others.
We have been calling this action, love begetting love! We have always trusted and believed in God to deliver Nicholas with love and all of love's attributes. God is good, Nicholas is good, so nothing except goodness is surrounding Nicholas with God's loving touch over everything. And we trust and believe that the goodness of God will guide and follow us forever…and will surround us with Nicholas some glorious day. And between now and then, goodness will continue to warm and heavenly soothe Nicholas and comfort us.
A PETER PAN / ROBIN HOOD ANALOGY
Late last week we thought about Nicholas and Peter Pan. Nicholas liked Peter Pan movies and the action figures (like most kids). Thinking about Nicholas sword fighting and saying, "Ahh Yah!" as he slashed his sword through the air, we also thought about Robin Hood, another character Nicholas would play. Nicholas loved sword fighting and just "playing and having fun" with others.
- Nicholas and Peter Pan: we think about the positive, innocent childlike approach to life and afraid of nothing. Thank you, God!
- Nicholas and Robin Hood: we think about the theme, "…for the good of others." Thank you God!
- As we thought about The Nicholas Colby Fund, we thought about Tinker Bell who brightly glows for Peter Pan (Nicholas) and that is when we thought about our dear family friend, Gina Baker, who founded The Nicholas Colby Fund that we are establishing.
- Then we thought about the Pixie Dust. And our thoughts warmly go to the notion of how a sprinkle of pixie dust can make you fly. And our thoughts float back to Gina and her loving touch positioning The Nicholas Colby Fund to take flight. And now all of YOU helping The Nicholas Colby Fund soar.
- It is Nicholas and his love, because of God and His love, sprinkling the pixie dust over The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children. It is not magic, it is what we trust; it is not just belief, it is faith!
- Sometimes we feel that Nicholas' touch is the wind blowing our sails, as God is the wind beneath Nicholas' "wings."
Thanks for sharing in this "real" journey of a boy's (Nicholas) love always illuminating with rays of sunshine, enthusiasm, joy, and endless passion for caring about others!
***Please click on View Photos, above, to quickly see 3 pictures: 1) Nutritional packs for Children's Hospital Oakland (1/21/07 journal), 2) Nicholas on his birthday last year (1/17/07 journal talks about his 1/27/07 birthday this year), and 3) A multi-year view of Nicholas***
TOMORROW WE WILL SHARE THE FEBRUARY / MARCH UPCOMING NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCES BEING PLANNED
________________________________________
Sunday, January 21, 2007 10:33 PM CST
ANOTHER "ACTION" NICHOLAS & YOU HELP PUT IN MOTION
Yesterday (Saturday) we delivered the first supply of Nicholas Colby Fund "Nutritional Packs" to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) at Children's Hospital Oakland. These packs will be available to every parent of a child going into the PICU. Our precious Nicholas was (and is) so loved that he had the wonder& joy of love always present from our Father, from mom & dad every moment of the leukemia and bone marrow transplant journey, from family, from friends, and from all of you that have become "friends."
We recognize that people are able to care and help in different ways-and all of you cared about Nicholas and constantly helped him as well as our family. Your caring and help, in your way directly or indirectly, enabled us to be more present with Nicholas every step of every moment of the journey…love begetting love.
***You can see these nutritional packs by looking at the Home Page picture above and by clicking "View Photos" above. They are also on the "Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007" photo album accessible by pasting the following link into your browser*** www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
Below is the wording of the card that accompanies the nutritional packs:
FRONT: The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children (logo)
INSIDE: On November 19, 2004 our lives had been changed by the devastating Leukemia diagnosis of our beautiful 4 year-old son, Nicholas Colby Gilbert. (The youngest of four boys.)
We navigated the Leukemia and Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) journey for 1 ½ years. On May 23, 2006, our son became critically ill and went into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU). Understandably, our emotions were high and not knowing what the next moment would bring, we had no thoughts of leaving Nicholas' side. Our wonderful social worker brought us a nutritional pack, similar to this one, and encouraged us to eat and drink.
The PICU staff was lovingly attentive to Nicholas as well as us. And we were so thankful for the nutritional pack because we now know it was helpful toward providing the physical strength needed.
Early afternoon on May 25, 2006, our lives-once again-had been changed forever. One choice we were left with was two continue sharing Nicholas' amazing love, spirit, and inspiration: love begetting love. …and The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children was created. In addition to directly Helping Children Be Children, another action we wanted to take was what we hope will be helpful to you.
Please accept this nutritional pack from us to you. We hope it provides you with strength and, mostly, comfort knowing that many others care about your family.
This nutritional pack is provided through donations from Diablo Foods of Lafayette, CA (including other individuals and organizations) partnering with us and The Nicholas Colby Fund.
Warmly,
The Gilbert Family and The Nicholas Colby Fund
BACK: The meaning lies not in the knowing, but in the believing; not in understanding, but in having faith.
The Nicholas Colby Fund® - Helping Children Be Children
(A registered non-profit organization)
1547 Palos Verdes Mall, PMB 260
Walnut Creek, CA 94597-2228
Website: www.caringbridge.org/ca/nicholascolbygilbert
(In the 1st quarter of 2007 transitioning to www.nicholascolbyfund.org)
Email: info@nicholascolbyfund.org
Along with Diablo Foods (Connie Collier) of Lafayette who is directly supporting this action, we are thankful for Admac Digital Imaging (Terry McGlynn) of Emeryville for the Nicholas Colby Fund stickers. Remember the "programs" for the Memorial Service & Celebration of Life? Admac Digital Imaging printed those as well.
***The programs can be viewed from the third album below, under Links, or accessing the smaller, "Nicholas Colby Fund Begins," album*** www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
IT WAS JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT, BUT IT WAS OUR MOMENT
A beautiful moment at Nicholas' site playing and with his Peter Pan & Power Ranger action figures, sword fighting, and football catch. (We know that we do not have to be there to be with Nicholas; and it is an amazing place to be with Nicholas.) We know that the moment we are about describe was just a moment that could have happened at any time of the day; however, it "was our moment." As the sun broke through a few clouds and pierced through branches in the tree on Nicholas' Oakmont Memorial Park site…the sun illuminated the picture of Nicholas on the flat memorial marker. To me, it was Heavenly and we are so grateful that God provides many moments of His "light" enabling us to continually trust and believe His words to be true.
***The flat memorial marker can also be seen via the "Nicholas Colby Fund Begins" album***
So Nicholas, son, you are perfectly and purely "playing and having fun" absorbing all the love and precious moments that are abundant with Jesus and in God's loving arms. Yes, we know and are so glad that you are teaching us, just like you love to do. You are the king with the King! Remember, Nicholas use to say that he was the king?
________________________________________
Saturday, January 20, 2007 11:40 PM CST
***No Full Journal Entry Today***
Delivered the first supply of Nicholas Colby Fund "Nutritional Packs" to CHO…quiet visit at Nicholas' site…watched our niece's high school basketball game…dinner / comedy show with friends.
________________________________________
Friday, January 19, 2007 11:10 PM CST
THREE QUICK ANNOUNCEMENTS
NUTRITIONAL PACKS: Nicholas Colby Fund "Nutritional Packs" start tomorrow (Saturday) for the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Children's Hospital Oakland. (Please refer to the January 8, 2007 journal, under Journal History, for more information.) On one of our journal entries this weekend we will share details about these Nutritional Packs including information about Diablo Foods of Lafayette (Connie Collier) and family friend Terry McGlynn who partnered with The Nicholas Colby Fund on this action.
"DISNEY ON ICE" SHOWS UPCOMING: On February 28, 2007 patients from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, and on March 1, 2007 patients from Children's Hospital Oakland will be guests of Nicholas and The Nicholas Colby Fund at a Disney on Ice performance. These performances will be at the Oracle Arena in Oakland. Yes, Disney on Ice is another fun thing that Nicholas experienced and, once again, Nicholas is Helping Children Be Children…enjoying an experience that is so "cool," literally as well figuratively.
A PETER PAN ANALOGY: Also on one of our journal entries this weekend we will share an analogy about Peter Pan and Tinker Bell as we think about our angel, Nicholas, and Gina Baker who founded The Nicholas Colby Fund that we have been establishing with Nicholas' love.
***Please click on View Photos to quickly see a couple of pictures of Nicholas one year ago with family, friends, & Thunder and receiving a computer on his 6th birthday***
REMEMBER-3 new Nicholas Colby Fund Photo Albums
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Thursday, January 18, 2007 10:54 PM CST
OH, A LITTLE MORE ABOUT NICHOLAS' "OFFICE"
Remember, one of the subjects in last night's journal was the Lafayette Library that Nicholas called his office. What we meant to include was a note about why yesterday Nicholas' office was in our thoughts. Well, soon a new library will be built in Lafayette and we inquired whether or not they were going to be selling tiles that would have a message from the purchaser and all placed somewhere at the new library. Many new structures do this. These was done at the San Francisco Giants baseball park; and remember the tile that we made at Camp Okizu? It can be seen by accessing the third album below, under Links, and scrolling to 9/16/06. Information about the tile at Camp Okizu is in the 9/16/06 journal, under Journal History.
Yesterday we had a discussion with a representative of the library and although they are not selling tiles for the purpose we stated, a wonderful conversation about Nicholas followed. STAY TUNED, there may be something with the Lafayette Library fitting for our precious Nicholas.
SPEAKING OF CAMP OKIZU
Remember, the mission of the Okizu (oak-eye-zoo, is a Sioux Indian Word meaning Unity) Foundation is to provide recreational, respite, and peer support programs for families affected by childhood cancer. In September 2006 we participated in the Okizu Foundation's Oncology Family Camp for bereaved families. Collaborating is another wonderful characteristic of Nicholas and through his inspiration we have an idea of how The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children can collaborate with Camp Okizu for the good of children.
This idea entails a weekend "work party" helping the camp with one of their periodic cleanup weekends to help maintain a clean, safe environment for patients, siblings, as well as parents from many different hospitals. STAY TUNED, this could involve you!
***Thank you all for your guestbook messages, they are still very helpful to us and we are told they are helpful to others (love-begetting-love)***
***Please click on View Photos to quickly see a couple of pictures of Nicholas one year ago with family, friends, & Thunder and receiving a computer on his 6th birthday***
REMEMBER-3 new Nicholas Colby Fund Photo Albums
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 11:59 PM CST
NEXT PLANNED NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCE, COINCIDENTALLY, IS ON NICHOLAS' BIRTHDAY
On January 27, 2007 The Nicholas Colby Fund is delivering a Warriors' experience for some Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital patients and their siblings. The suite will be full of children focusing on each other not medicine, on the Warriors not schedules, and on fun not a clock…as we work toward Helping Children Be Children.
And the Warriors organization, they are adding a special message onto the scoreboard for that game that will read: "Happy 7th Birthday to our angel, Nicholas, you are never gone - never far in our hearts and souls forever."
NICHOLAS AND HIS "OFFICE"
Many of you remember Nicholas' passion for reading, learning, exploring, teaching…and before his leukemia journey a regular journey to his "office" was the order of every week. Nicholas called the Lafayette Library his office. He loved to go to the library to select a book, sit at the table and read it…pick out another book, sit at the table and read it…and simply explore the wonders the library offers. When we drove by the library Nicholas would say, "There is my office." Nicholas was so happy to have his own office and when he was in the hospital, many of you may remember how he would set up a desk in his hospital room like an office. Throughout Nicholas' photo albums you will see pictures of him reading, learning via a computer (PC or hand-held), writing notes, etc. Nicholas, we thank God, you are never gone - never far, in our hearts and souls forever is where you are. Remember, son, we just know…
***Please click on View Photos to quickly see a couple of pictures of Nicholas one year ago with family, friends, & Thunder and receiving a computer on his 6th birthday***
REMEMBER-3 new Nicholas Colby Fund Photo Albums
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
________________________________________
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 11:43 PM CST
A LABOR OF LOVE IS SIMPLY "ACTIONS" OF LOVE
At Nicholas' spot this evening and in his room at home tonight, we "talked" about our love and simply held him close. Our expressions of love-begetting-love that have become a constant presence on these journals have simply become our "actions" of love. And these actions have amazingly, thank you God, become a source of continuous energy for us.
- Nicholas' beautiful Oakmont Memorial Park spot can be seen by placing the following link for the Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006 album in your browser and scrolling toward the end of 43 pictures: www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd.
- And, clicking on the third album, titled "Day 132 leading to BMT and current pictures" under Links toward the bottom of this Home Page. Then scroll to June 6, 17, 19, 24, 2006, September 22, 2006, October 22, 2006, and November 11 & 21, 2006.
REMEMBER-3 new Nicholas Colby Fund Photo Albums
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
***Please click on View Photos to see a picture of Nicholas one year ago with family, friends, and Thunder***
________________________________________
Monday, January 15, 2007 9:16 PM CST
EXPERIENCES CREATING INSTANT FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE
While you know that the Nicholas Colby Fund was founded on friendship, and its focus of Helping Children Be Children was established because of Nicholas' rays of sunshine that warms our heart. Nicholas' enthusiasm, joy, & endless passion for caring about others has always been amazing before his leukemia journey, during his leukemia journey, and today & forever through your direct and indirect support Nicholas continues to amazingly generate love.
Today through the Golden State Warriors' contribution of two seats at mid-court and three rows from the floor, a Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital patient (Justin) and a Children's Hospital Oakland / University of California San Francisco-Children's Hospital patient (Troy) were in attendance to watch the Warriors win their game against the Los Angeles Clippers. On this special day, Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, what was also special was seeing the smiles on Justin and Troy's faces and hearing them cheer the Warriors on. Their family was just one section away and for us (Nicholas' mom & dad), it was special opportunity for us to engage with the families. Note: The name of Justin's brother, coincidentally, is also Troy who was there with his mother one section away.
Also from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital enjoying the game through The Nicholas Colby Fund were Camilia and her family. Thanks for joining us today, we were happy to see you and your family!
Seeing Justin and Troy exchanging emails (and I think My Space and other contact information) warmed our hearts because here were two kids taking part in experiences that kids do-connecting and sharing!
THANK YOU Justin, Troy, Camilia, and your families for your time and trust in The Nicholas Colby Fund. While our focus is Helping Children Be Children…YOU helped us today enjoy the love of kids at play. Or as Nicholas' song of love playing in the background on the Home Page, "…playing and having fun…"
GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS (professional basketball team)
THANK YOU WARRIORS ORGANIZATION for your tremendous efforts and energy to help us Helping Children Be Children. You helped to make Nicholas always have a great time out at a Warriors game as well as engaging with Thunder or other members of the organization in and out of the hospital. And today, we know that Nicholas has always been blessed with your love…even when no one was looking! The communities of Northern California are fortunate to have you be who you are.
And THANK YOU THUNDER for in-the-moment stopping and sharing your energy with Justin and Troy. Wow, it seems like you helped to make this day a special day!
REMEMBER-3 new Nicholas Colby Fund Photo Albums
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
***Please click on View Photos to see a picture of Nicholas in a "Spy Kids" outfit that he created***
________________________________________
Sunday, January 14, 2007 10:45 PM CST
DREAMING OF PARADISE
Last night I dreamt of shopping with Nicholas (mom and our other boys are the shoppers).
This morning the first song heard was a Hawaiian song, "Lady You Are My Rainbow" by The Aliis from a Hawaii's Golden Groups CD. It is a song we listened to on our last trip to Hawaii with Nicholas. Many of you may recall the love our family has for Hawaii. Yes, most families who have experienced Hawaii love Hawaii. From our marriage, to Nicholas' first Hawaiian trip, to Nicholas' second Hawaiian trip, Hawaii is so very special to us. Remember Hoku the dolphin (October 19, 2006 and December 16, 2005 journals under Journal History) , Na Hoku ring (August 18, 2006 journal written at 2:15 AM and the story about last year's Mother Day with Nicholas), and all of the Hawaii pictures in the three photo albums under Links? Every time we think about Nicholas we feel Nicholas playing and having fun in paradise. Every time we think of Nicholas we think of paradise!
Tonight dad played a card game with grandma Eva (dad's mom) and immediately we talked about Nicholas and the many card games (Uno, Go Fish, Slap Jack, Old Maid, etc.) he played with family, friends, patients, nurses, and doctors. Like many kids, he loved to collect cards as well (Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Disney, Golden State Warriors cards of players, etc.).
THE SONG FROM THIS MORNING BEAUTIFULLY LINK TO NICHOLAS
So many words and certainly the meaning of the song describe our precious Nicholas-that is a treasure from God. The words beautifully link to many journal entries about Nicholas. We think you will recognize most of the phrases because amazingly they are thoughts we have expressed throughout Nicholas' journey and many of you have witnessed:
Looking at a rainbow when I gaze into your eyes,
I am seeing all the colors of love I needed to find…
You make it so easy to always want to be with you,
There is magic in the way you smile and everything you do…
And once in awhile when I am down in a rut, you came along to get me back up,
You always seem to know, when I am feeling sad which way to go…
Lady (God and Nicholas is what we sing) you are my rainbow,
Lady (God and Nicholas) you are my rainbow,
Lady (God and Nicholas) you are my rainbow,
Stay right here don't you go.
Lady (God and Nicholas) you are my rainbow…
So many reasons for loving you the way I do…
It does not matter where I am, if I am there with you…
And once in awhile when I am down in a rut, you came along to get me back up,
You always seem to know, when I am feeling sad which way to go…
Lady (God and Nicholas) you are my rainbow,
Lady (God and Nicholas) you are my rainbow,
Lady (God and Nicholas) you are my rainbow,
Stay right here don't you go.
Lady (God and Nicholas) you are my rainbow……
TOMORROW'S NICHOLAS COLBY FUND EXPERIENCE
Remember, tomorrow afternoon (Monday) three patients and their families will experience a Golden State Warriors basketball game against the Los Angeles Clippers through the Warriors and The Nicholas Colby Fund collaborating toward Helping Children Be Children.
NOTE: The Happy Birthday book in the Home Page photo above about Martin Luther King, Jr. is a book given to Nicholas one year ago by his teacher. We read the book with Nicholas and Nicholas wrote about it. We have so many writings and notes from Nicholas that virtually every time we open a closet or drawer…there is a wonderful message from Nicholas.
REMEMBER-3 new Nicholas Colby Fund Photo Albums
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
***Please click on View Photos to see a picture of Nicholas in a "Spy Kids" outfit that he created***
________________________________________
Saturday, January 13, 2007 10:34 PM CST
NEVER GONE, NEVER FAR
Sometimes we experience sudden urges of grief when we see, hear, smell, touch, or talk about something or remember one of the ubiquitous things about Nicholas. Unexpectedly these experiences trigger a surge of intense emotions missing Nicholas. We know that some of these emotions will pop up during memorable moments, occasions, and / or holidays. However, it still does not make those experiences easier. You may have read about our approach to "all this leukemia and bone marrow stuff" on one of our journal entries. We faced the journey in positive ways intended to help Nicholas "live" each moment, each day…and with each breath (such as the September 27, 2006 journal under Journal History).
We are thankful to be in the arms of God with Him lighting our path to love and all of love's attributes…even when sometimes it seems hard to see the path in front of us. Like Nicholas' constant presence, we trust and believe God is always right there before us, behind us, within us, and all around us. Nicholas would sometimes say, "I know God loves me, but how come He does not heal me?" Remember the times Nicholas would want us to read from his Children's Bible, or for us to pick him up, hold him, and pat him while we walked…prayed…cried (loving God)…and felt the love of God and the love God enabled us to experience? Nicholas WAS loved!
Our response to questions like this was always rooted in trusting and believing God. Not blindly trusting or wishing God's love to love. Trusting and everyday seeing blessings come Nicholas' way, come our way. We would talk, sing, and pray… "we know God loves you and we know what we want and when we want it. And God, who we need right now is You…as we know that Your love never fails and as much as we want to see and feel healing now we trust Your love and recognize that the healing is taking place in Your way." (Remember the November 18 - 20, 2005 journals under Journal History?). Through God, letting tears flow, in Love's way we were comforted then and now.
GRIEF
Alan Wolfelt in "Understanding Your Grief" writes, "Grief comes in and out like waves from the ocean. Sometimes when you least expect it, a huge wave comes along and pulls your feet right out from under you." We are so fortunate to have amazing, beautiful, calming, delightful, energizing, fun…memories of our precious Nicholas. From A to F to Z in the alphabet, and 1 to 6 to infinity (to infinity and beyond as Nicholas would say as he mimicked Buzz Lightyear)…Nicholas, son, you are everything pure, perfect, and whole!
REMEMBER-3 new Nicholas Colby Fund Photo Albums
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
Nicholas Colby Fund Begins
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.8g4xdcqe&x=1&y=95eth4
Nicholas Colby Fund Christmas 2006
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Nicholas Colby Fund 1st Quarter 2007
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.5fjsrxh2&x=1&y=l9mqah
***Please click on View Photos to see a picture of Nicholas in a "Spy Kids" outfit that he created***
________________________________________
Friday, January 12, 2007 11:59 PM CST
HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN
Because of Nicholas and the support of all of you, tomorrow night (Saturday) 2 patients and their families from Children Hospital Oakland (CHO), and 2 patients and their families from Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (LPCH) will be in a suite enjoying the world famous Harlem Globetrotters basketball game / show.
ANOTHER ADDITIONAL EXPERIENCE...Along with the Nicholas Colby Fund experiences scheduled for January that were outlined in this past Monday's journal, today the Golden State Warriors contacted us with an offer to send two patients and their families to a Warriors' game this coming Monday, January 15, 2007 (holiday for Martin Luther King, Jr.). With the wonderful relationships at CHO and LPCH we were able to help two families break away from their medical journey to plan a "great time out" (the Warriors' slogan) this coming Monday.
SAME EVENT AND ANOTHER EXPERIENCE...The Nicholas Colby Fund has been blessed with some amazing partnerships and offers from organizations and individuals trusting The Nicholas Colby Fund and its work toward Helping Children Be Children. Again we received a donation of tickets from an individual to send a patient from LPCH and her family to this coming Monday's Warriors' game.
So this coming Monday's experience for three patients and their families is adding to love begetting love.
Sweet Nicholas, because of you and God's love every action we take, we take it for you and for God. Son, the love from God and The Nicholas Colby Fund touching dozens of patients is a warm, gentle embrace of you.
***Please click on View Photos to see a picture of Nicholas in a "Spy Kids" outfit that he created***
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund this holiday season. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
________________________________________
Thursday, January 11, 2007 11:36 PM CST
WHY WE TRUST & BELIEVE NICHOLAS IS MORE THAN OKAY
For all the love and joy a child brings into one's life, we know love and joy comes from God. With all the beautiful and uplifting memories we will forever have, we know we are missing a treasure from God.
As we continually trust and believe...it does feel like a roller-coaster journey in terms of knowing we are loved, AND feeling the hurt emptiness brings. And there is another "and"...that is for all the love and joy Nicholas continues to pass on and inspire we know Nicholas is Heavenly pure and perfectly happy. We are comforted experiencing the love ALL OF YOU have given Nicholas from virtually everywhere in California; from Hawaii; from across the continental United States; from Canada & Mexico; from countries abroad; AND most of all because God is omnipotent, omnipresent, & omniscient.
Nicholas is not missing us because we are never gone, never far. (All of these thoughts today came clearly to us last night after sharing the Wednesday night journal; specifically referring to the last two sentences under the SURPRISE "heading.")
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund this holiday season. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
________________________________________
Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:36 PM CST
ACTION THE NICHOLAS COLBY FUND® - HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN HAS TAKEN IN THE FIRST 6 MONTHS
Everything that we do, we do because of Nicholas' inspiration. The days still do not get any easier, and our nights are always full of Nicholas' amazing spirit lighting up our lives with his ever-glowing love. In the first 6 months The Nicholas Colby Fund has warmly touched the lives of dozens of patients (and their families) through trusted acts of love and compassion, Helping Children Be Children. With Nicholas and these journals (and pictures) Nicholas' story continues...and your direct and indirect support helps us to create these amazing experiences.
- Established collaborative relationships with Children's Hospital Oakland and Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital
- Provided a modified wheelchair desired by one of "all these beautiful children"
- Established an ongoing partnership with the Golden State Warriors and the partnership has been creating several experiences for children and their families; including a Season of Giving event where patient's / families from Children's Hospital Oakland and Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital enjoyed a Warriors basketball game in a suite, followed by a surprise party in the Warriors owner's room where players and the mascot (Thunder) delivered gifts to the patients and their siblings. (We secured a gift list from the families without the patients knowing it was for this event.)
- Sent patients and their families into a luxury suite to enjoy the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus; Harlem Globetrotters basketball game (and again on January 13, 2007); many Golden State Warriors' basketball games, and will continue to do so throughout the basketball season and other events at the Oracle Arena in Oakland, CA. For one child the Nicholas Colby Fund had him and his best friend sitting on the floor next to the visiting team's bench at a Warriors game
- Provided Thanksgiving dinners for parents in the hospital with their child (Children's Hospital Oakland and Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital
- Provided customized Disneyland trip for an oncology patient who held the possibility of this experience close to her heart
- Established a relationship with the Oakland Ice Arena and the partnership sent patients and their families to Holiday "Magic" On Ice performances, followed by gifts including LeapFrog educational toys provided by LeapFrog
- Created a Patient Gift Giving Experience for patients to feel the joy that giving brings during the Christmas holiday. From bins of fun, educational, and simply playful toys, patients in the hospital were able to select a gift for each of their siblings. Partnering with Shazzam from McCovey's Restaurant (of Dudum Sports & Entertainment) the overall experience for the children as well as their parents and the medical staff was inviting and uplifting. (Games Unlimited-Danville and LeapFrog-Emeryville significantly contributed.)
- Provided New Year's baskets (sparkling apple cider, popcorn, "poppers" to ring in the New Year, etc.) for patients, parents, and the medical staff (Children's Hospital Oakland and Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital)
- Beginning January 20, 2007, providing nutritional packs for parents with children in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.
- Moving forward is developing more experiences..."Helping Children Be Children"
SURPRISE
One of the children enjoying the Golden State Warriors' game tonight through The Nicholas Colby Fund was a patient next door to Nicholas during treatment at Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital. And that patient's name is Nicholas as well. Pleasant surprise as we delivered a Warriors' basketball to them in the suite! We are happy to help other children, and we do feel sad missing Nicholas so, so much. We wonder "why"...many times.
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund this past holiday season (December 2006). We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
________________________________________
Tuesday, January 9, 2007 11:59 PM CST
BLESSINGS
In Sunday night's journal we talked about your guestbook entries and emails along with our believing and trusting in God's love and Nicholas' ever present spirit & touch that makes this world a better place. We dearly miss Nicholas and know that he is wonderfully experiencing "The Next Place," referring to the Warren Hanson book we read to Nicholas on May 25, 2006. Remember the excerpts below? (All the words from the book are in the May 26, 2005 journal and it has been comforting having the book to see the amazing, colorful illustrations and to feel the words warm our hearts as well as bring loving tears to our eyes.)
"I'll glide beyond the rainbows. I'll drift above the sky. I'll fly into the wonder, without ever wondering why.
"I'll never be alone; I'll be embraced by all the family and friends I've ever known. Although I might not see their faces, all our hearts will beat as one. And the circle of our spirits will shine brighter than the sun.
"I'll have the love of those who loved me, and the warmth of those who cared…the happiness and memories and magic that we shared. I will cherish all the friendships I was fortunate to find, all the love and all the laughter in the place I leave behind. All these good things will go with me; they will make my spirit glow. And the light will shine forever in the next place that I go."
In the Sunday journal we also said that we would talk about some of the acts of love from all of you. Simply stated, your presence on this website for Nicholas, at Nicholas Colby Fund activities, and all of us taking action toward Helping Children Be Children is love that begets love.
NOTES:
- A picture of the three (to date) Nicholas Colby Fund flyers on January 2007 experiences for children can be seen by viewing the photo above on this Home Page and by clicking on View Photos.
- The 3 pictures posted on this site via View Photos can be seen again by clicking on and accessing the first album below under Links: Nicholas with mommy on her birthday in 2003, Nicholas with classmates at a play in 2003, and Nicholas with "his" dog Cheyenne in 2003.
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund this holiday season. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
________________________________________
Monday, January 8, 2007 11:59 PM CST
ADDITIONS TO WHAT IS UPCOMING IN JANUARY
1) January 10, 2007. The Nicholas Colby Fund is providing a suite for patients and their families to enjoy a great time out at the Golden State Warriors' game (addition)
2) January 13, 2007. The world famous Harlem Globetrotters bring their basketball show to the Bay Area of California and The Nicholas Colby Fund is offering a suite to patients at Children's Hospital Oakland and Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital (addition)
A year ago, January 13, 2006 Nicholas was playing and having fun at the Harlem Globetrotters' game. He loves basketball, people, music, dancing…so he was truly having a fun time. Tonight we watched one of the videos taken during his time at the Harlem Globetrotters' game. The joy illuminating from Nicholas and his actions are amazing! Nicholas LIVED and lives so vibrantly in our hearts and souls-thank you God.
PICTURES: Tomorrow night we will post three new pictures of Nicholas imbedded onto flyers for this experience along with the upcoming January 10 and January 27 experiences.
3) January 20, 2007. Another Nicholas Colby Fund action toward Helping Children Be Children as well as parents' focus on their child via a partnership with Children's Hospital Oakland begins. Moving forward The Nicholas Colby Fund will be the provider of nutritional packs for parents with children in the pediatric intensive care unit at Children's Hospital Oakland. These nutritional packs will include a nutritional bar, juice, applesauce, and a mint. Prior to January 20 we will share information about new partners helping The Nicholas Colby Fund make this happen for parents…for children.
4) January 27, 2007. (Nicholas' birthday) Through another collaborative effort with Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, a Golden State Warriors' experience will be provided to patients and their siblings. The Nicholas Colby Fund will also arrange enhancements to the experience toward Helping Children Be Children.
BLESSINGS
Because the two additional January experiences were talked about tonight, tomorrow we will talk about some of the acts of love from all of you that we referenced on this past Sunday night's journal.
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund this holiday season. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
________________________________________
Sunday, January 7, 2007 11:23 PM CST
THANK YOU FOR THE GUESTBOOK ENTRIES AND EMAILS
It is very comforting and helpful to communicate with all of you through these journals and your guestbook entries (including the emails we received over the weekend regarding the three pictures currently seen by clicking on "View Photos" above).
UPCOMING MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR HOLIDAY (January 15)
Thinking about next week's holiday and a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. we thought about the many blessings Nicholas received throughout his life before and during his leukemia journey, as well as the love-begetting-love since he passed onto Heaven. The blessings were very vivid and helpful today through reflecting on:
- Nicholas' life through his amazing enthusiasm, joy, and endless passion for caring about others
- Memories with family, friends, and new acquaintances that would in the moment become "friends"
- These journal entries, going back to when Nicholas was first diagnosed with leukemia
- The pictures on the three albums accessible below under Links, as well as the circle-of-love Nicholas creates through The Nicholas Colby Fund and the recent holiday photo album (referenced below)
- Love through ALL OF YOU and YOUR ACTIONS that directly and in-directly continue to be a very present help to Nicholas, to mom & dad and his brothers, to each other via YOUR GUESTBOOK ENTRIES and your other thoughts, actions, and prayers as you stay with us on what we now call a circle-of-love journey
Thinking about blessings we start with God's love for He has given us an angel-Nicholas-to hold, to know and be known by, and to always and forever love in a very personal way…forever in our hearts and souls…never gone, never far.
THE QUOTE REFERENCED ABOVE from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., "An individual has not started living fully until they can rise above the narrow confines of individualistic concerns to broader concerns of humanity…Every person must decide, at some point, whether they will walk in the light of creative altruism or in darkness of destructive selfishness. This is the judgment. Life's most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others."
Nicholas, son, while this quote is "full of meaning," it is just another way of expressing that which you do for us and seemingly for so many people who knew you, came to know you, and know of you and your love, amazing enthusiasm, joy, and endless passion for caring about others. You are teaching us, son! It warms our hearts knowing the love you always have had for our Father-God. Your desire to read The Children's Bible and to pray and talk with Jesus as we cried together was another way of being close to Jesus and to God.
***Please click on "View Photos" to see three pictures from 2003 (these came to mind based on the January 4, 2007 journal***
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund this holiday season. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
TOMORROW NIGHT'S JOURNAL (Monday) we will talk about some of the acts of love from all of you.
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Out of town (please refer to the January 4 journal)
Friday, January 5, 2007
Out of town (please refer to the January 4 journal)
________________________________________
Thursday, January 4, 2007 10:53 PM CST
AWAY UNTIL SUNDAY, JANUARY 7, 2007
After tonight's journal there will not be another one until Sunday night. Mom & dad will be out of town as mom participates in business meetings all weekend long. The last few years we were with Nicholas on the leukemia journey and mom did not participate in the annual meetings. Three years ago before Nicholas was diagnosed with leukemia was the last time mom participated and Nicholas was right there with us. Nicholas was very much part of all aspects of our lives and our colleagues (family and friends) knew that he was the focus of our lives just like our other boys and certainly God.
We have always had our boys with us virtually everywhere we went-especially when they were young. Our sweet Nicholas will always be with us and very much a part of everything we are, everywhere we go. Although it is excruciatingly painful to be without Nicholas, physically, loving God helps us know Nicholas is everywhere with us spiritually. And loving God helps us know that Nicholas knows we dearly love him-always and forever!
UPCOMING
1) January 20, 2007 begins another Nicholas Colby Fund action toward Helping Children Be Children as well as parents' focus on their child via a partnership with Children's Hospital Oakland. Moving forward The Nicholas Colby Fund will be the provider of nutritional packs for parents with children in the pediatric intensive care unit at Children's Hospital Oakland. These nutritional packs will include a nutritional bar, juice, applesauce, and a mint.
2) January 27, 2007 (Nicholas' birthday) through another collaborative effort with Stanford-Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, a Golden State Warriors' experience will be provided to patients and their siblings. The Nicholas Colby Fund will also arrange enhancements to the experience toward Helping Children Be Children.
***Please click on "View Photos" to see three pictures from 2003***
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund this holiday season. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
________________________________________
Wednesday, January 3, 2007 11:59 PM CST
NICHOLAS, HELPING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN
Reflecting on the journal entries during Nicholas' leukemia journey there are countless times he was lovingly caring for others with enthusiasm and joy (even before all this "leukemia and bone marrow stuff"). With every action we take, we are so grateful to truly feel Nicholas' touch and his touch Helping Children Be Children.
This month The Nicholas Colby Fund will begin providing nutritional packs for parents with children in the pediatric intensive care unit at Children's Hospital Oakland. These nutritional packs will include a nutritional bar, juice, applesauce, and a mint. Nicholas loved engaging parents (or adults) as well as other children. Journals written after the Memorial Service on June 2, 2006 include stories from Nicholas' teacher, Ms. Shirley, who shared how Nicholas would introduce himself to parents coming onto the Montessori grounds…and how he never forgot their names. And guestbook entries provided similar stories about Nicholas' passion for engaging with others. Sweet Nicholas, you are so amazing-we love you, son!
In the next couple of weeks we will provide more details about the nutritional packs and people / businesses that are partnering with The Nicholas Colby Fund to make this loving act possible. Once again, it is love begetting love and a circle-of-love in action.
REMEMBER
Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children experiencing The Nicholas Colby Fund this holiday season. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
________________________________________
Tuesday, January 2, 2007 11:59 PM CST
TONIGHT - STARING INTO NICHOLAS' EYES
Nicholas is the reason for The Nicholas Colby Fund® - Helping Children Be Children. As we do this work, every step of the way is a step thinking more about Nicholas and we smile seeing the joy he received from our love…and, yes, we are saddened not seeing him today. However, staring into Nicholas' eyes there is nothing except love felt. The deeper we stare, Nicholas' spirit seems to surround us and everything good comes into our hearts thinking about Nicholas with God…playing & having fun with Jesus.
To see God's perfect work-Nicholas-is to experience Nicholas forever because nothing contrary to good can co-exist with perfection and purity. Oh God, we do become saddened and thank You for walking before us, behind us, beside us, and within us so that we never lose sight on Your love and all the good that You have in store for us. Thank You for loving Nicholas, loving us, and being there for all of us!
REMINDER - ORGANIZATIONS, TOO, HAVE HELD THE LOVING BATON FOR NICHOLAS
***Will you help us by writing letters of thanks?***
Journals during the last couple of weeks talked about organizations partnering with The Nicholas Colby Fund over the holidays and we have received inquiries for contact information to thank them. Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children and what The Nicholas Colby Fund has done this holiday season. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Following are the names and addresses of the organizations partnering with us and we ask that you consider writing them a brief note of thanks to compliment are communications of thanks to them. This is another way that you are "Helping Children Be Children" with us; we know we are blessed having you still with us loving Nicholas.
Games Unlimited
Steve Banducci
800 Sycamore Valley Road
Danville, CA 94526
Golden State Warriors
Neda Barrie
1011 Broadway
Oakland, CA 94607
iVenture Consulting
Peter Hewitt
120 Marsha Place
Lafayette, CA 94549
LeapFrog
Tim Bender
6401 Hollis Street
Emeryville, CA 94608
________________________________________
Monday, January 1, 2007 9:16 PM CST
WITH HURT THERE IS HOPE AND LIFE TO LIVE NOW AND FOREVER
Many of you may have heard of the book, When Bad Things Happen To Good People, by Harold S. Kushner. He wrote this book for people "who have been hurt by life", to help them find faith that can aid in getting through their troubles, rather than making things worse. Other books like Lance Armstrong's, It's Not About The Bike, provide help toward searching for comfort to give hope. Not everyone dies from cancer; a book, Chicken Soup For The Cancer Survivor, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Mary Olsen Kelly lets us know that many people do survive cancer. And we know that the cancer journey is a personal journey that through love begins a loving journey shared by all of those that care.
Nicholas was and continues to be blessed by all of you that care. And through The Nicholas Colby Fund - Helping Children Be Children, we continue the loving journey for Nicholas, with Nicholas, and certainly following God who never, ever left Nicholas' side. While we, of course, still have questions of why…we think about books like those above and are grateful for God's love. We are grateful Nicholas loved God even when he had questions of why (recently we wrote more journals about Nicholas' cries to God and loving God). The pain in our stomachs has not left us and as we recently wrote….it does not get easier, it gets different. We have and continue to have hope and trust God's love. Thankfully, we see some children surviving cancer. And our love toward Helping Children Be Children is to uplift the spirit of all the beautiful children we meet.
These mixed emotions are extremely hard for us because Nicholas is physically not with us. We trust God to love Nicholas while Nicholas-in God speed-is joyously living and loving without any wants or needs. Oh Father, God, we trust that when we see Nicholas in Heaven, for him, it will be like he was at school for the day. He will not have been away from us at all and we praise You for Your love and allowing Nicholas to be never gone, never far…in our hearts & souls forever. We praise You for allowing Nicholas to "just know…" And we praise You for comforting our hurts, giving us hope with Your love, and letting us know that through You Nicholas lives!
ORGANIZATIONS, TOO, HAVE HELD THE LOVING BATON FOR NICHOLAS
***Will you help us by writing letters of thanks?***
Journals during the last couple of weeks talked about organizations partnering with The Nicholas Colby Fund over the holidays and we have received inquiries for contact information to thank them. Copying and pasting the following address into your browser you will see current photos of some of the beautiful children and what The Nicholas Colby Fund has done this holiday season. We think you, too, will see smiles on the faces, eyes sparkling, and/or expressions of children joyfully at play:
www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=hzm3iu6.4hcasgke&x=1&y=-cexgvd
Following are the names and addresses of the organizations partnering with us and we ask that you consider writing them a brief note of thanks to compliment our communications of thanks to them. This is another way that you are "Helping Children Be Children" with us; we know we are blessed having you still with us loving Nicholas.
Games Unlimited
Steve Banducci
800 Sycamore Valley Road
Danville, CA 94526
Golden State Warriors
Neda Barrie
1011 Broadway
Oakland, CA 94607
iVenture Consulting
Peter Hewitt
120 Marsha Place
Lafayette, CA 94549
LeapFrog
Tim Bender
6401 Hollis Street
Emeryville, CA 94608
